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Bill Simmons did a mailbag on Rice-Goodell. One of the e-mails needs to be read
Posted on 9/11/14 at 6:58 pm
Posted on 9/11/14 at 6:58 pm
Link
quote:
Q: This isn’t a question and it’s not funny or silly or ironic in any way, and likely doesn’t belong in the mailbag, but I’m writing in nonetheless.
As a survivor of domestic violence, I’ve carefully watched the Ray Rice situation play out on the national media and social media stages. Domestic violence, like addiction and mental health issues, is often misunderstood by the media and the general public. It’s complex and personally challenging for most people to understand how a woman or a man can return to their abuser, often repeatedly and for years. As a result, the victim is often overlooked or the act is somehow justified (as initially was the case with Ray Rice). Clearly, a reasonable person who watched the first video, which showed Rice dragging his unconscious fiancé out of an elevator, easily could have determined that this result occurred from him striking her. Instead, the NFL responded casually as did many in the media and general public. Some even pointed the finger at the victim with a “she antagonized him = she deserved it” kind of mentality, rather than the drawing the more obvious conclusion of Rice’s guilt.
I was 26, law school educated and working in the entertainment industry when I found myself in a two year relationship with an abuser. What began as simple put downs and controlling behavior escalated into being choked, punched, kicked, shoved into walls, thrown out of a car naked without house keys, and more, as well as enduring tremendous mental abuse including being lied to and cheated on. I stayed with him because I was repeating a cycle that I had experienced as a child with a mentally checked out mother. With few other outlets, my abuser had become my entire life, however odd that may sound to those who have not endured domestic violence. I had created my own emotional, physical and psychological nightmare and I struggled to find a way out of a toxic and twisted reality.
That relationship ended nearly five years ago and it took me three years to recover from being “a shell of a person,” as a former co-worker described me. With intense therapy, a good job and an honest and loving support system, I’m “recovered,” or as recovered as someone who has been abused can ever be. It changes you and it takes years to feel better. I’m still wondering if I will ever be able to trust again. So as my friends get married and have kids, I was pleasantly surprised a few weeks ago when I was able to successfully go on a date.
I share my story because today’s reaction by the Baltimore Ravens meant something to me. I know it was very late in coming and it only resulted from the release of a horrific video, but societal changes in opinion and attitude, especially on topics of gender, race and discrimination take time to develop, and this week, we made progress and shined a national spotlight on an issue that often is hidden behind doors and sometimes only whispered about with disdain for the victim.
—J, Los Angeles
Posted on 9/11/14 at 7:10 pm to TN Bhoy
quote:
I share my story because today’s reaction by the Baltimore Ravens meant something to me. I know it was very late in coming and it only resulted from the release of a horrific video
Sorry, this makes reasonable people discount her opinion
Posted on 9/11/14 at 7:12 pm to Turbeauxdog
quote:
Sorry, this makes reasonable people discount her opinion
No it doesn't.
Posted on 9/11/14 at 7:18 pm to BayouBengals03
quote:
No it doesn't.
She clearly stated knee jerk reactions are meaningful to her. Take that as you will.
Posted on 9/11/14 at 7:20 pm to Turbeauxdog
Wow. Another NFL first fan.
Get fricked moron.
Get fricked moron.
Posted on 9/11/14 at 7:22 pm to Turbeauxdog
I bet you're a real winner
Posted on 9/11/14 at 7:23 pm to TN Bhoy
I don't victim point; however, at some point you have to understand you have a problem. I've gone through issues with mental disorders (anxiety and depression... amongst other things) and at some point, YOU have to figure out that you need help.
Posted on 9/11/14 at 7:23 pm to TN Bhoy
You have to respect Simmons for being one of the few mainstream media guys calling Goodell a bad commish before the Ray Rice stuff happened.
Posted on 9/11/14 at 8:41 pm to CunningLinguist
My question is what happens if Ray Rice never hits his wife again and they go on to have a long and positive marriage. Does that mean His wife is in denial. I've seen so many people come out and discredit anything Janay has said because of this abuse cycle in victims of domestic violence.
I think it's such BS. The framework of this issue should be revolved around how Janay wants it to be. If she agreed with the punishment from the DA and she feels the NFL is being too severe and the media reaction not what she wants why can't we respect that?
Do we feel that we have to take on the struggle of domestic violence? I'm not trying to make light of the real issues but it's so hard to get behind an get in bed with so many self-righteous crusaders that tackle every social issue with fervor and not logic. The only thing I feel I can do and still look myself in the mirror is too not ever strike my wife. In the end if we could all just do that and take care of our families the world would be a better place.
I think it's such BS. The framework of this issue should be revolved around how Janay wants it to be. If she agreed with the punishment from the DA and she feels the NFL is being too severe and the media reaction not what she wants why can't we respect that?
Do we feel that we have to take on the struggle of domestic violence? I'm not trying to make light of the real issues but it's so hard to get behind an get in bed with so many self-righteous crusaders that tackle every social issue with fervor and not logic. The only thing I feel I can do and still look myself in the mirror is too not ever strike my wife. In the end if we could all just do that and take care of our families the world would be a better place.
Posted on 9/11/14 at 8:50 pm to WalkingTurtles
quote:
The framework of this issue should be revolved around how Janay wants it to be.
So if she said no punishment and million dollar bonus, which she would've if it's her choice, you think that's reasonable?
Posted on 9/11/14 at 8:51 pm to TN Bhoy
Who fricking cares? If any man has been in a relationship with a women who has a smartass mouth, you know it's not always the mans fault. I have no clue to why he slapped her, but no one knows the full story. She's not dead, and is in that relationship by choice. She might have gave another guy a BJ that night and smarted off to Rice when he called her out. No one knows what happened.
Posted on 9/11/14 at 8:53 pm to Jcorye1
quote:
I don't victim point; however, at some point you have to understand you have a problem. I've gone through issues with mental disorders (anxiety and depression... amongst other things) and at some point, YOU have to figure out that you need help.
Same here
Posted on 9/11/14 at 8:54 pm to AUCE05
quote:
She might have gave
In addition to the stupid shite in the rest of your post, this is telling.
Posted on 9/11/14 at 8:57 pm to saintsfan22
I hate how yall disrespect Janay. Ray and Janay were high school sweethearts and they have a child together. I'm sure she loves her husband and is not just in it for they money. The women cast her as a woman that is afraid to leave her abuser and men cast her out as a gold digging whore. It's bullshite. Leave those young newlyweds alone.
Posted on 9/11/14 at 8:58 pm to Louisianimal83
Yeah they're the picture of marital bliss....
Posted on 9/11/14 at 9:17 pm to AUCE05
quote:
If any man has been in a relationship with a women who has a smartass mouth, you know it's not always the mans fault. I have no clue to why he slapped her, but no one knows the full story. She's not dead, and is in that relationship by choice. She might have gave another guy a BJ that night and smarted off to Rice when he called her out. No one knows what happened.
o_O
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