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Rank the Mighty Ducks roster
Posted on 8/22/14 at 8:17 am
Posted on 8/22/14 at 8:17 am
I've been sick as shite in bed the past day so I decided to watch the trilogy again. Here are my rankings (not including the goalies and the kids from D1 that never showed up again)
1. Banksy
– Not even close.
2. Germaine
– He's the only other player on that team that may have a future in hockey.
3. Jesse
– He was the soul of that team and the guy Bombay trusted as the frontman in the flying V. It's a shame that he didn't go to Eden Hall. I guess he didn't want to be a cake eater.
4. Cowboy Dwayne
– Dude was slow in the head but he had the best puck skills on the team and it wasn't even close. You know Connie wanted some of dat after he saved her from the Iceland player.
5. Connie
– Go back and watch the movies, Connie is quietly a legit hockey player. She also had Guy wrapped around her finger.
6. Portman
– He could've been so much better than he was if he didn't always look for the big hit. However, every team needs an enforcer and he fit that mold to a T.
7. Charlie
– Charlie was a bitch in all 3 movies. In D1, he was a fricking spaz. In D2, he gave up his fricking spot in the team when there were much more shitty players that should've done it for Banksy. In D3, he basically dropped out of school because Coach O'rien made the team take off a uniform that they wore for all of one period prior to that. That said, he was awarded the "C" and had the triple deke.
8. Fulton
– Best shot on the team, but he couldn't skate and that's a pretty big deficiency.
9. Wu
– Dude made other teams look like fools with his skating ability. But he was small as shite and didn't pull out the "stick, gloves, shirt" move when Eden Hall varsity kept taking his lunch. To his credit, that dude maximized his talents as far as hockey goes, but he should probably go back to his figure skating.
10. Russ
– He had the knuckle puck but couldn't even make second line for the Eden Hall JV squad. No Russ, it wasn't "a major diss", you just sucked.
11. Luis aka Benny the Jet
– He was pretty worthless. Yeah he clocked under 4 seconds from blue line to blue line but that doesn't matter when you can't fricking stop. Props to him though for pulling the senior cheerleader.
12. Averman
– Bombay should've been fired on the spot when he started Averman in the center in the first Iceland game. frick you Averman, you didn't belong on Team USA and sure as frick didn't deserve the money that comes with a hockey scholarship at a private school.
1. Banksy
– Not even close.
2. Germaine
– He's the only other player on that team that may have a future in hockey.
3. Jesse
– He was the soul of that team and the guy Bombay trusted as the frontman in the flying V. It's a shame that he didn't go to Eden Hall. I guess he didn't want to be a cake eater.
4. Cowboy Dwayne
– Dude was slow in the head but he had the best puck skills on the team and it wasn't even close. You know Connie wanted some of dat after he saved her from the Iceland player.
5. Connie
– Go back and watch the movies, Connie is quietly a legit hockey player. She also had Guy wrapped around her finger.
6. Portman
– He could've been so much better than he was if he didn't always look for the big hit. However, every team needs an enforcer and he fit that mold to a T.
7. Charlie
– Charlie was a bitch in all 3 movies. In D1, he was a fricking spaz. In D2, he gave up his fricking spot in the team when there were much more shitty players that should've done it for Banksy. In D3, he basically dropped out of school because Coach O'rien made the team take off a uniform that they wore for all of one period prior to that. That said, he was awarded the "C" and had the triple deke.
8. Fulton
– Best shot on the team, but he couldn't skate and that's a pretty big deficiency.
9. Wu
– Dude made other teams look like fools with his skating ability. But he was small as shite and didn't pull out the "stick, gloves, shirt" move when Eden Hall varsity kept taking his lunch. To his credit, that dude maximized his talents as far as hockey goes, but he should probably go back to his figure skating.
10. Russ
– He had the knuckle puck but couldn't even make second line for the Eden Hall JV squad. No Russ, it wasn't "a major diss", you just sucked.
11. Luis aka Benny the Jet
– He was pretty worthless. Yeah he clocked under 4 seconds from blue line to blue line but that doesn't matter when you can't fricking stop. Props to him though for pulling the senior cheerleader.
12. Averman
– Bombay should've been fired on the spot when he started Averman in the center in the first Iceland game. frick you Averman, you didn't belong on Team USA and sure as frick didn't deserve the money that comes with a hockey scholarship at a private school.
Posted on 8/22/14 at 8:22 am to Broski
Pretty solid.
Banks >>> Everyone else.
I think Julie "The Cat" Gafney deserves some recognition - Bombay had blinders for Goldberg.
Plus Julie =
ETA: sry didn't read the goalie blurb.
Speaking of goalies, the slow-mo camera shot of the Iceland coach yelling "THE GOOOOOOOOOOOALLLLIE!!!!" in D2 is amazeballs.
Banks >>> Everyone else.
I think Julie "The Cat" Gafney deserves some recognition - Bombay had blinders for Goldberg.
Plus Julie =
ETA: sry didn't read the goalie blurb.
Speaking of goalies, the slow-mo camera shot of the Iceland coach yelling "THE GOOOOOOOOOOOALLLLIE!!!!" in D2 is amazeballs.
This post was edited on 8/22/14 at 9:08 am
Posted on 8/22/14 at 8:25 am to Billy Mays
quote:
I think Julie "The Cat" Gafney deserves some recognition - Bombay had blinders for Goldberg.
quote:
not including the goalies
Posted on 8/22/14 at 8:35 am to CocomoLSU
I think it's shitty to not include the goalies. Julie the Cat might have been second only to Banksy.
Posted on 8/22/14 at 8:36 am to Broski
quote:
7. Charlie
– Charlie was a bitch in all 3 movies. In D1, he was a fricking spaz. In D2, he gave up his fricking spot in the team when there were much more shitty players that should've done it for Banksy. In D3, he basically dropped out of school because Coach O'rien made the team take off a uniform that they wore for all of one period prior to that. That said, he was awarded the "C" and had the triple deke.
Something I've never understood about Charlie's character arc...In the first movie he's terrible, in the 2nd he essentially doesn't make the team, and by the time the third rolls around we're suppose to believe he's some hotshot star player. I don't buy it.
Posted on 8/22/14 at 8:47 am to skullhawk
quote:
Something I've never understood about Charlie's character arc...In the first movie he's terrible, in the 2nd he essentially doesn't make the team, and by the time the third rolls around we're suppose to believe he's some hotshot star player. I don't buy it.
I bet they were all confused when they read the script.
Posted on 8/22/14 at 9:06 am to skullhawk
I've never seen the entire 3rd movie - am I missing anything?
Posted on 8/22/14 at 9:08 am to Broski
quote:
12. Averman – Bombay should've been fired on the spot when he started Averman in the center in the first Iceland game. frick you Averman, you didn't belong on Team USA and sure as frick didn't deserve the money that comes with a hockey scholarship at a private school.
I bought a Mighty Ducks jersey t-shirt and specifically got Averman's jersey. He was my favorite player, and he was awful.
I don't think Guy ever got the full credit he deserved. He was the best player on the team and then just got shite on because they brought in Banks.
Kenny was better than you give him credit for. And Russ was terrible. If Charlie was a Def from the start, he could be ranked higher, but he was a pretty awful forward.
Posted on 8/22/14 at 9:25 am to Broski
Charlie is legit the worst. Just a huge weenie plus a terrible hockey player.
Posted on 8/22/14 at 9:49 am to Billy Mays
quote:
I've never seen the entire 3rd movie - am I missing anything?
No
Posted on 8/22/14 at 10:20 am to Billy Mays
quote:
I've never seen the entire 3rd movie - am I missing anything?
I saw it as a kid and enjoyed it. I'm sure it would be difficult to watch from start to finish as an adult.
Posted on 8/22/14 at 10:56 am to ProjectP2294
agree, guy was overshadowed by cakeeater, charlie and fulton but was solid AF. the marques colston of the ducks IMO
Posted on 8/24/14 at 5:10 pm to FalseProphet
quote:
I think it's shitty to not include the goalies. Julie the Cat might have been second only to Banksy.
Meh, it's hard to rank goalies along with the rest of the players.
That said, I think Julie the Cat is a tad overrated. Yeah, she has the quick glove, but she also basically bailed on the team in the first Iceland match and then gave up a 9 goal lead in Eden Hall's first JV game.
I'd still put her ahead of Goldberg, but it's close. Keep in mind, he shutout the Russian squad that upset Iceland.
Posted on 8/24/14 at 5:28 pm to Broski
Averman is the best, him and Goldberg were always my favorites. Although I always recognized Julie was the better goalie imo.
Bombay is the GOAT though in terms of coaches with the exception of maybe Eric Taylor
Bombay is the GOAT though in terms of coaches with the exception of maybe Eric Taylor
This post was edited on 8/24/14 at 5:30 pm
Posted on 8/24/14 at 5:59 pm to chrisksaint
He was decent comic relief but he was a shite hockey player.
Posted on 8/24/14 at 8:30 pm to Broski
This is pretty good list, I'd probably put Portman ahead of Cowboy and move them all down a peg. You need an enforcer especially in International play. Cannot overstate his importance to the team during the gold medal run. He was also the one of the people to out Bombay for eating ice cream with the enemy. Bombay needed a wake up call and he got it.
Posted on 8/24/14 at 9:06 pm to Broski
goldberg was a solid reserve, kinda like the humberto quintero or david ross of the ducks
Posted on 8/24/14 at 9:20 pm to S
Just looking at IMDB and Goldberg did NOT age well.
Posted on 8/24/14 at 10:36 pm to VanRIch
Looks like Julie the Cat got back at him for force feeding her sugar by force feeding him crack.
Posted on 8/24/14 at 10:39 pm to VanRIch
Goldberg looks like he did a shite ton of drugs
Averman looks like a pedophile
Cake Eater looks like he is the lead singer of a Buckcherry cover band
At least Julie the Cat looks nice
Averman looks like a pedophile
Cake Eater looks like he is the lead singer of a Buckcherry cover band
At least Julie the Cat looks nice
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