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Ann Coulter destroys soccer in article (from MSB)

Posted on 6/26/14 at 6:18 am
Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 6:18 am
quote:
I've held off on writing about soccer for a decade -- or about the length of the average soccer game -- so as not to offend anyone. But enough is enough. Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay.


(1) Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer. In a real sport, players fumble passes, throw bricks and drop fly balls -- all in front of a crowd. When baseball players strike out, they're standing alone at the plate. But there's also individual glory in home runs, touchdowns and slam-dunks.


In soccer, the blame is dispersed and almost no one scores anyway. There are no heroes, no losers, no accountability, and no child's fragile self-esteem is bruised. There's a reason perpetually alarmed women are called "soccer moms," not "football moms."

Do they even have MVPs in soccer? Everyone just runs up and down the field and, every once in a while, a ball accidentally goes in. That's when we're supposed to go wild. I'm already asleep.


(2) Liberal moms like soccer because it's a sport in which athletic talent finds so little expression that girls can play with boys. No serious sport is co-ed, even at the kindergarten level.



quote:
(9) Soccer is not "catching on." Headlines this week proclaimed "Record U.S. ratings for World Cup," and we had to hear -- again -- about the "growing popularity of soccer in the United States."


The USA-Portugal game was the blockbuster match, garnering 18.2 million viewers on ESPN. This beat the second-most watched soccer game ever: The 1999 Women's World Cup final (USA vs. China) on ABC. (In soccer, the women's games are as thrilling as the men's.)


Run-of-the-mill, regular-season Sunday Night Football games average more than 20 million viewers; NFL playoff games get 30 to 40 million viewers; and this year's Super Bowl had 111.5 million viewers.


quote:
If more "Americans" are watching soccer today, it's only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy's 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.
Posted by glassman
Next to the beer taps at Finn's
Member since Oct 2008
116636 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 6:22 am to
quote:

I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer.


One great great grandfather was born here along with my other great grandfather. She is a fricking hack. Always has been.

quote:

When baseball players strike out, they're standing alone at the plate. But there's also individual glory in home runs, touchdowns and slam-dunks.



Roberto Baggio and Gyan say.. "Hi Anne, you vapid count".
Posted by Broski
Member since Jun 2011
73880 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 6:22 am to
quote:

destroys soccer


Nope
Posted by ell_13
Member since Apr 2013
85530 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 6:41 am to
The frick is this? Onion article?
Posted by IOnlyPostPictures
Baton Rouge
Member since Jun 2010
865 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 6:52 am to
Posted by PeepleHeppinBidness
Manchester United Fan
Member since Oct 2013
3553 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 6:59 am to
Wow. She just hit a new level of dumb. What a desperate little attention whore.
Posted by olddawg26
Member since Jan 2013
24787 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 7:00 am to
Never heard of anyone so god damn stupid in all my life. Is she really trying to make soccer have a political side? Jesus christ my eyes are burning out of my skull. If soccer is boring to you, and fricking baseball is exciting, then you're clueless and not athletic.
Posted by Manzielathon
Death Valley
Member since Sep 2013
8951 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 7:04 am to
Typically I'd agree with her but she fails to connect on like...every point here.
Posted by uway
Member since Sep 2004
33109 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 7:04 am to
Why y'all letting her troll you?
Posted by SouthOfSouth
Baton Rouge
Member since Jun 2008
43486 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 7:05 am to
She should abort herself.
Posted by RedRifle
Austin/NO
Member since Dec 2013
8330 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 7:09 am to
Miami heat fan Ann Coulter?

Posted by JohnZeroQ
Pelicans of Lafourche
Member since Jan 2012
8520 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 7:50 am to
Ann Coulter always has and always will need the D with that kind of thought process.
Posted by HeadChange
Abort gay babies
Member since May 2009
43858 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 8:14 am to
She sure does hate the metric system.
Posted by TxTiger82
Member since Sep 2004
34157 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 8:15 am to
quote:

Ann Coulter


Nobody listens to her anymore. Also her points are just wrong. Fail.
Posted by Pettifogger
Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone
Member since Feb 2012
80884 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 8:17 am to
I like soccer, but I recognize it is the sport of Occupy protestors and hipsters.

Nothing wrong with a little honesty.
Posted by Cap Crunch
Fire Alleva
Member since Dec 2010
54189 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 9:26 am to
Ann Coulter is psychopath, so I don't really care about anything she says
Posted by engvol
england
Member since Sep 2009
5140 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 9:44 am to
quote:

I've held off on writing about soccer for a decade -- or about the length of the average soccer game


And yet I bet she loves baseball
Posted by TigerTreyjpg
Monroe, LA
Member since Jun 2008
5815 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 10:18 am to
I like Ann Coulter, and generally agree with what she writes. Often not to the same degree, but general agreement nonetheless. That article, however, misses a ton of points.

1. There's a difference between world cup soccer, and regular soccer. I don't get into soccer on an annual basis. I don't get into track and field, or curling on an annual basis. Every four years though, when a team playing that sport is representing us against the rest of the world, it's as exciting, emotionally charged, and attention worthy of a sporting even as I've ever watched.

2. The fact that the WORLD likely sees soccer as the most important sport played is reason enough to get emotionally invested in this sport come world cup time.

3. As for her assessment that the sport lacks individually talented players, that's just patently bullshite. There's a reason all NFL/College kickers kick the ball "soccer style". It's because folks that play soccer at high levels can launch kickable objects with their feet more precisely and further than those that play any other sport. Kicking a soccer ball, and making it spin, dip, dive, or curve is, IMO, an art that's very similar to the art and craft that pitchers apply to baseballs.

After the world cup is over, I probably won't watch a bunch of soccer for 4 more years. I'm an American College Football fan. That's what gets me going. I can still recognize though that soccer is "the" world game, has incredibly talented players, and requires a ton of skill to play it at the highest level. I certainly wouldn't write an article putting down a game that, for some reason, the entire world views as attention worthy.




Posted by wm72
Brooklyn
Member since Mar 2010
7960 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 10:31 am to


I don't have any idea who Ann Coulter is but after reading the first few lines of this I think she must be Adam Sandler's mom from The Waterboy.
Posted by constant cough
Lafayette
Member since Jun 2007
44788 posts
Posted on 6/26/14 at 10:33 am to
frick Ann Coulter
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