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Started By
Message
Friends son just passed away in a car accident
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:25 am
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:25 am
My friend’s 22 year old son was involved in a car accident and passed away today from the injuries. I’m at a loss on what to do or say. I want to do something for him and his family but have no idea what to do or say. Our whole neighborhood is rallying around and doing the meal train and that kind of stuff but I want to help him somehow. Any suggestions on what I could do other than be there for him?
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:27 am to jscrims
Nothing you can really do
Only time will fix it
Only time will fix it
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:28 am to jscrims
I worry about my wife and children every day, can’t imagine if anything happened to them. I don’t think there’s any right thing to do in this situation upon from standing with him in grief
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:29 am to jscrims
That's friggin awful man. Can't imagine what I'd want or need in that type of situation.
I would probably want to just be left alone, but I know everyone grieves differently. Sorry I don't have a good answer for you.
I would probably want to just be left alone, but I know everyone grieves differently. Sorry I don't have a good answer for you.
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:29 am to jscrims
You don’t have to say anything. Just go be with him. You can just sit there with him and not say a word. He’ll talk to you if he wants to but don’t count on it. Let him grieve
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:31 am to jscrims
Absolutely sucks but there isn't much you can do but be there for your son, once the shock of the passing is over then maybe look into ways to keep his memory alive by starting up a benefit or scholarship in his name.
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:32 am to jscrims
Let him decide when and what to say but be available and offering that availability on a respectful basis is about all you can do.
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:34 am to jscrims
Awful news. I know for a fact in the traffic I was in last night from ATL to Ocean Springs there were multiple fatalaties on I65 going southbound to Mobile. All roads standstill for two hours. It was catastrophic.
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:34 am to jscrims
probably avoid telling them anything like "well God has a plan..." I'd always imagine I would want to punch someone in the face if a person told me that following the loss of a child.
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:35 am to jscrims
Nothing you need to say or specifically do except to just be there for them. They will be on a roller coaster for a while so just meet them where they are in that particular moment.
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:35 am to jscrims
Sorry to hear that. I'm not sure there's a whole lot you can do other than ask what he needs from you as a friend right now.
I was in an accident a couple months back where a guy ran a red-light. It reminded me how easy it is for my family to have something similar happen and be taken away in an instant. I've been extra careful and paranoid on the roads since then.
I was in an accident a couple months back where a guy ran a red-light. It reminded me how easy it is for my family to have something similar happen and be taken away in an instant. I've been extra careful and paranoid on the roads since then.
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:40 am to jscrims
Be there and be available. Right now, things will be like a whirlwind for them with people around and services etc...
Some of the hardest times are when that's over and people are no longer around. It can feel like everyone moved on easily and you are left alone in your grief.
Some of the hardest times are when that's over and people are no longer around. It can feel like everyone moved on easily and you are left alone in your grief.
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:41 am to jscrims
quote:
Our whole neighborhood is rallying around and doing the meal train and that kind of stuff
Ain't nothing a big box of Popeyes can't fix.
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:43 am to Power-Dome
I’ll say sometimes giving some space in the initial flood of support and following around in a week or two is not terrible either depending on how close you are.
When the meal train ends and the house is quiet it could be appreciated to have a second wave of support.
When the meal train ends and the house is quiet it could be appreciated to have a second wave of support.
This post was edited on 3/18/24 at 7:09 pm
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:44 am to jscrims
Band together with friends and pay for the funeral.
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:45 am to BilJ
quote:
probably avoid telling them anything like "well God has a plan..." I'd always imagine I would want to punch someone in the face if a person told me that following the loss of a child.
And whatever you say, DONT say, “I know how you feel, it’ll get better with time”
Unless you’ve lost a child you don’t know how it feels and it NEVER gets better.
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:47 am to jscrims
Tell him exactly what you said.
Everybody is there for him now. It’s the shock and the funeral. Be there for him a month from now. Check in. Take him places. Majority of folks will move on with life. Less people checking on them. It’s 30 days to a year from now. That’s when he needs you.
Everybody is there for him now. It’s the shock and the funeral. Be there for him a month from now. Check in. Take him places. Majority of folks will move on with life. Less people checking on them. It’s 30 days to a year from now. That’s when he needs you.
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:48 am to jscrims
There is value to being there for him at this time but be conscious of how much and try not to add to the stress. He is likely getting a ton of phone calls, visits, food, etc. right now. When my dad passed, my mom was at the point of getting overwhelmed because everyone wanted to stop by and chat, and while it's nice, it is also a lot to deal with. Of course you should reach out and let him know you are there for him, but it could possibly be better to wait a few weeks to do something and in order to give him and his family time to process everything without overwhelming them.
Added: basically everything the guy above me said. Checking in consistently over the course of the next year will honestly probably be more helpful than anything you could do right now.
Added: basically everything the guy above me said. Checking in consistently over the course of the next year will honestly probably be more helpful than anything you could do right now.
This post was edited on 3/18/24 at 11:52 am
Posted on 3/18/24 at 11:48 am to jscrims
If you're not in the same town, pay for a lawn service to cut his grass for the next few weeks/month. It's the small gestures.
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