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re: Guys who got divorced with kids; how do you deal with being away from your kids?

Posted on 12/30/23 at 8:04 am to
Posted by klrstix
Shreveport, LA
Member since Oct 2006
3252 posts
Posted on 12/30/23 at 8:04 am to
quote:

She is becoming harder to figure out.


As a dad of two girls that have grown up, gotten married and have kids of their own, here is my advice on this...

Keep in mind that however difficult it is for you to "figure out" your girl, she is probably experiencing the same thing except more so... And the world that she lives in (friends, school, ect..) are not going to be too helpful..

IMO.. (and I am no expert!) the key is being patient, having some level of thick skin, and continually making efforts to get into their world and hear/understand what they are feeling and experiencing.. Which is usually a monumental task for any dad and their daughter...

The effort I made along those lines was to be a source of love and affirmation to them.. This is not random in the sense we all have our own unique love language and requires you to understand what your daughter's love language is... In times of turmoil (of which there were a constant cycle of... "wink wink") I would either simply shelter through the storm or in some cases ask questions (which were generally genuine) to try and connect with them emotionally to understand what they are going through (This requires listening.. ) generally they will come to understand and appreciate the empathy ... Any boundary issues that need to be addressed are usually best addressed after the storm has passed! At the end of the day its about helping your daughter through this transition emotionally and coming out on the other side of it with a deeper father/daughter bond...

Finally keep in mind (at least in the beginning) your daughter will be as confused and bewildered as you.. So patience and playing the long game is important..

Hope this helps...

This post was edited on 12/30/23 at 8:14 am
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