Is Loneliness A Disease?

When I've been homeless, loneliness was the worst aspect. It's not a pathology but it damn sure worsens your health. I have no doubt that loneliness induced by covid was a serious health burden, globally.

I've never been so thankful to be around other people as when I was homeless.

Things like this message board can help a bit, but humans need person to person contact. You have to have someone to work with, get coffee with, exercise with, or whatever. You need things like spontaneous conversation. Those needs can't be met in a virtual environment.

I remember once I was looking for some general purpose cleaner to wipe down a cheap tarp I'd laid down on my tent floor. I stood there in Walmart until a couple employees noticed me, just so I could ask them if they had a certain type, all so I could have a moment of conversation and eye contact with real humans. They didn't have the cleaner, I thanked them for the help, and moved on. That little bit of contact felt good.

Humans need other humans as a general rule.

Otherwise you get this:

I’m dying a little bit every day from it. Really believe that I won’t make it another year. Most days I feel like I’ve had enough and am ready to go that night.

But I’m up today and probably will make it through the day. I keep trying.

Loneliness is a mindset. I have always been a loner and love it. You have to cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself though. People who are self loathing look for external stimulation to run away from the things that they hate about themselves. It’s all about embracing your light and shadow.

quote:

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people are becoming so isolated from other people that it is lowering life end expectancy

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Quarantine is in tha house....

Yeah, loneliness can be a huge problem. Our current society, especially for younger folks, seems to actively limit in-person social engagement. Hookup culture has resulted in women essentially being haram’d, and huge percentages of men having zero relationship partners, and almost no hope of ever getting one. The women doing the hookups aren’t getting what they need, and even the guys doing all of the hooking up are getting cheap satisfaction, but it’s fleeting and leaves them hollow.

Basically, no one is getting what they need. Humans are pack animals and are designed to survive in pairs. I am fortunate that I have so many good friends through my hobbies. Even then, I still spend a lot of time alone and struggle with loneliness. Some of this is that I simply don’t like being by myself or being out in public in a crowd alone.

I feel like certain activities and situations are discouraged when you’re by yourself, like they’re not FOR you: going to the movies, sitting down to eat in a restaurant outside of the bar or a quick lunch spot, bowling, live sports, etc. So much of life is designed for people to do together, yet so much of our time is being regimented to keep us a part. I feel so isolated when I go out in public without one of my friends or a date, almost like I’m not welcome or not supposed to be there.

90% of the reason I still date women is just to have someone around so I feel like I can do the things I want to do in public that my friends either don’t want to do with me or don’t have time for. The other 10% is all the actual relationshippy stuff, but 90% is just that I miss having my wife as a plus one, and I hate doing everything alone in a crowd.