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Posted on 7/5/23 at 9:02 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Wanting to get her naked. She kneed me in the balls and I collapsed on her bed.
Posted on 7/5/23 at 9:54 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Returning seven minutes late.
Posted on 7/5/23 at 10:48 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Absolute rascals on this forum! Charlatans!
I jest (yes, i for once and not my jesters)
Story time
Following an intense Cornell midterm i made the mistake of having my driver bring me over to Yonkers to fetch the future Mrs. S from Sarah Lawrence. We retreated to the Hamptons for what was supposed to be a quiet weekend away from the hub-bubb of university.
She suggested a simple picnic with fresh French bread akin to that served to father and i on a business trip to New Orleans by a strange but friendly vagabond who only spoke to his mother, not to mention the assortment of fine cheeses and the Eastern seaboard’s best olive oil. As i prepared the bread for cutting i heard the bark of a most unscrupulous harbor seal who had the gall to threaten our beachside snack.
“Defense positions!” I yelled, perhaps out of some sort of post traumatic stress disorder related incident taking me back to my Exeter fencing days. I gathered myself but had, in a haze, picked up a piece of driftwood and began to taunt the seal.
“En garde, seal! I say! Retreat to the sea at once or i shall exchange thy blubber for booty!”
Mrs S. (Perhaps either aghast by my behavior or my use of the word “booty” in lieu of something more modern like “loot”) slipped on her Yves Saint-Laurent slippers and made haste towards the bungalow. Disaster!
I dined alone on the beach that night, my friends, though the seal and i made peace by way of a shared admiration for camembert and Chopin’s E minor nocturne.
I jest (yes, i for once and not my jesters)
Story time
Following an intense Cornell midterm i made the mistake of having my driver bring me over to Yonkers to fetch the future Mrs. S from Sarah Lawrence. We retreated to the Hamptons for what was supposed to be a quiet weekend away from the hub-bubb of university.
She suggested a simple picnic with fresh French bread akin to that served to father and i on a business trip to New Orleans by a strange but friendly vagabond who only spoke to his mother, not to mention the assortment of fine cheeses and the Eastern seaboard’s best olive oil. As i prepared the bread for cutting i heard the bark of a most unscrupulous harbor seal who had the gall to threaten our beachside snack.
“Defense positions!” I yelled, perhaps out of some sort of post traumatic stress disorder related incident taking me back to my Exeter fencing days. I gathered myself but had, in a haze, picked up a piece of driftwood and began to taunt the seal.
“En garde, seal! I say! Retreat to the sea at once or i shall exchange thy blubber for booty!”
Mrs S. (Perhaps either aghast by my behavior or my use of the word “booty” in lieu of something more modern like “loot”) slipped on her Yves Saint-Laurent slippers and made haste towards the bungalow. Disaster!
I dined alone on the beach that night, my friends, though the seal and i made peace by way of a shared admiration for camembert and Chopin’s E minor nocturne.
Posted on 7/6/23 at 12:09 am to S
void
This post was edited on 7/7/23 at 3:31 pm
Posted on 7/6/23 at 1:00 am to VolsOut4Harambe
Friend of mine got a divorce because he was cheating on his wife. Somehow, I ended up having to defend myself that I was faithful.
Posted on 7/6/23 at 5:45 am to LSU Grad Alabama Fan
But you had intercourse with her friend!!!
Posted on 7/6/23 at 6:30 am to VolsOut4Harambe
I made too much Quinoa for dinner one night
Was cooking dinner at a girls house and she fussed me for cooking too much quinoa…. She literally lectured me on wasting food.
I had purchased all of the food for the dinner…
Was cooking dinner at a girls house and she fussed me for cooking too much quinoa…. She literally lectured me on wasting food.
I had purchased all of the food for the dinner…
Posted on 7/6/23 at 7:48 am to bad93ex
quote:
Something I did in her dream
So my daughter wakes up at 11 pm last night crying for Mom (usually its for me), and when I get in there she starts complaining that her brother, who when he goes to bed sleeps like a boulder, just did something to her.
Posted on 7/6/23 at 8:04 am to bad93ex
quote:
Something I did in her dream
This or something she saw in a Hallmark movie.
Posted on 7/6/23 at 8:07 am to VolsOut4Harambe
My brother’s wife got mad at him once in a convenience store because the lady behind the counter called him “Sug”. Her issue was she considered it disrespectful to her. When my bother pointed out he could not control what this woman called him, that only made matters worse.
Posted on 7/6/23 at 8:09 am to VolsOut4Harambe
One time I walked past my now wife in the living room and she started crying bc I didn't look at her
Posted on 7/6/23 at 8:11 am to Darth_Vader
I had the nerve to be an LSU fan the last time Ole Miss was any good. NSFW
LINK
LINK
This post was edited on 7/6/23 at 8:13 am
Posted on 7/6/23 at 9:01 am to Spasweezy
quote:
Told her to calm down.
You are supposed to say "You're overreacting" after you tell her to calm down. Rookie mistake.
Posted on 7/6/23 at 9:46 am to Mr. Misanthrope
quote:
I have to say the worst ones have come, like you described, not because of the original
and always inexplicable offense, but in the witty sarcastic or irreverent response.
it is just how im wired - we laugh about it now, but i never let her forget - when i buy dog food, i always buy at least 1 pack or Racheal Ray food for the dog.
I am always digging the hole lol
Posted on 7/6/23 at 9:49 am to madmaxvol
GF and I were in that have sex all the time phase…one night I didn’t feel well, felt like I was getting the flu…I went to bed early and she joined later…came in wanting to do sexy stuff…I obliged although still felt like shite…she wanted to go again, I told her no, she lost it…questioning our relationship, kept repeating I really don’t like this etc…
After 30 minutes of this, I gave in for round 2…
Next 2 days she questioned the “strength” of our relationship…
Needless to say, lesson learned, there is never a good reason for a guy to not be in the mood.
After 30 minutes of this, I gave in for round 2…
Next 2 days she questioned the “strength” of our relationship…
Needless to say, lesson learned, there is never a good reason for a guy to not be in the mood.
Posted on 7/6/23 at 9:57 am to BUKA
quote:
One time I walked past my now wife in the living room and she started crying bc I didn't look at her
Posted on 7/6/23 at 10:55 am to Shamoan
I have obnoxiously loud sneezes. I can't help it. My ex HATED it.
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