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Started By
Message
Do you feel like you sacrificed your personality for your wife, family, career?
Posted on 5/9/23 at 8:06 am
Posted on 5/9/23 at 8:06 am
I had a good conversation with an old friend last night, drawing up some memories from high school and college. I used to be fun. With friends. Personal interests. A social life.
I was into horror movies, rock and metal music, and video games. I don’t really do any of them anymore.
Sometimes I feel like I just work or take care of shite around the house. I work, spend quality time with the kids, and try to have sex with my wife. It’s not a bad life, but I wonder about my own personal identity.
My wife doesn’t like horror movies, rock or metal music, or video games. Slowly over the years, I stopped putting any effort into them. Nowadays, even if I wanted to, I don’t have the time to reignite my old interests. I have to wake up at 5am to survive, which admittedly is because of my intent to stay healthy and workout before work.
Even on the weekends, I can’t really sleep past 5am. If I did, my dog would wake me up soon after because she’s used to getting up then.
Being asleep by 10pm is a must. My kids go to bed at 8:30pm, so there’s little time for anything outside of hanging out with the wife and getting ready for bed.
It’s weird. I feel like I’m not really me any more.
Anyone else feel this way? Is it just normal for becoming the middle aged dad persona?
I guess I can see how middle aged dudes stop giving a frick and go do things on their own. My dad’s like that. For a few decades now he goes to the movies by himself or to concerts by himself. I guess that’ll be me in the future.
I was into horror movies, rock and metal music, and video games. I don’t really do any of them anymore.
Sometimes I feel like I just work or take care of shite around the house. I work, spend quality time with the kids, and try to have sex with my wife. It’s not a bad life, but I wonder about my own personal identity.
My wife doesn’t like horror movies, rock or metal music, or video games. Slowly over the years, I stopped putting any effort into them. Nowadays, even if I wanted to, I don’t have the time to reignite my old interests. I have to wake up at 5am to survive, which admittedly is because of my intent to stay healthy and workout before work.
Even on the weekends, I can’t really sleep past 5am. If I did, my dog would wake me up soon after because she’s used to getting up then.
Being asleep by 10pm is a must. My kids go to bed at 8:30pm, so there’s little time for anything outside of hanging out with the wife and getting ready for bed.
It’s weird. I feel like I’m not really me any more.
Anyone else feel this way? Is it just normal for becoming the middle aged dad persona?
I guess I can see how middle aged dudes stop giving a frick and go do things on their own. My dad’s like that. For a few decades now he goes to the movies by himself or to concerts by himself. I guess that’ll be me in the future.
Posted on 5/9/23 at 8:08 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
so there’s little time for anything outside of hanging out with the wife and getting ready for bed.
By no means am I an expert, but this sounds very unhealthy.
Posted on 5/9/23 at 8:08 am to StringedInstruments
Drink…hunt/hobby…forget…repeat…
Posted on 5/9/23 at 8:08 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
I used to be fun. With friends. Personal interests. A social life
If you're wife doesn't let you have this, that's a big red flag.
Some of those things take a backseat when you have kids, but you should not completely lose them either.
Posted on 5/9/23 at 8:09 am to StringedInstruments
quote:Before y’all were married, I was 2 for 3 of these things.
I work, spend quality time with the kids, and try to have sex with my wife.
Posted on 5/9/23 at 8:09 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
guess I can see how middle aged dudes stop giving a frick and go do things on their own.
Maybe. If you’re alive.
Posted on 5/9/23 at 8:09 am to StringedInstruments
Absolutely not. My wife and kids have given me more joy in life than I could ever have had without them.
Posted on 5/9/23 at 8:09 am to StringedInstruments
It's time for a mullet and a Corvette.
Posted on 5/9/23 at 8:10 am to StringedInstruments
I did, and she divorced me after less than 3 years of marriage. Took everything
Posted on 5/9/23 at 8:11 am to StringedInstruments
Nah, I probably should have sacrificed more to be honest.
Posted on 5/9/23 at 8:11 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
some memories from high school and college. I used to be fun. With friends. Personal interests. A social life.
I think this is called growing up.
Posted on 5/9/23 at 8:12 am to fallguy_1978
quote:don't forget the jorts and white new balances
It's time for a mullet and a Corvette.
Posted on 5/9/23 at 8:14 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
Is it just normal for becoming the middle aged dad persona?
Yes. Its called growing up. You are in a different phase of life. You aren't supposed to act like you are 20 when you are 40.
quote:
Sometimes I feel like I just work or take care of shite around the house. I work, spend quality time with the kids, and try to have sex with my wife. It’s not a bad life, but I wonder about my own personal identity.
Yea. Thats what responsible, present fathers do. Good job.
Posted on 5/9/23 at 8:14 am to StringedInstruments
Most of what you describe is maturity. But, you gotta be you. Find at least one thing you want to do and make time for it.
Posted on 5/9/23 at 8:15 am to StringedInstruments
Hell naw.
And I have 2 exes to prove I wouldn’t change.
And I have 2 exes to prove I wouldn’t change.
Posted on 5/9/23 at 8:15 am to StringedInstruments
I definitely can agree with you here. I don't mind the sacrifices, I just wish my wife would appreciate it more.
I think the most annoying thing is they tell you to talk to them but when you try it's always they don't have the time or they take it as an opportunity to turn it around on you.
I think the most annoying thing is they tell you to talk to them but when you try it's always they don't have the time or they take it as an opportunity to turn it around on you.
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