Ladies, gentlemen, and Thenry, here are the international awards.
Presenting the award for BEST TEAM
, the man that has ridden the Spanish national team's success to levels of fame/infamy on thisboard...Dandy Lion. Dandy Lion: (insert a bunch of Spanish that very few of us could translate, even with the help of Google. Everyone smiles and nods until he says...)
ESPANA!!! Image: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/36/Spain_national_football_team_Euro_2012_trophy_02.jpg
And now, presenting the award for MOST ENTERTAINING TEAM
, the most entertaining man in all of international football...Zlatan Ibrahimovic! The Great and Powerful Zlatan:
Zlatan will give this puny award to a puny team. Zlatan led his team to four goals in 30 minutes against this team, therefore Zlatan doesn't think this team deserves this award. Also, without Zlatan, this team cannot be awarded most entertaining in my opinion. But this awards committee has paid Zlatan very well, so Zlatan must give this award to...Germany
. Zlatan leaves stage now. Image: http://www.themunicheye.com/articles/images/monthly_image_folders/2012_Jun/Munich_Times_10_12_38_20.jpg
quote: (Hendo leaps on top of his table in celebration, taunting everyone in the vicinity. Then he grabs a piggyback ride from a shirtless Schweinsteiger up to the stage, where he soaks in the glory with the rest of Ze Germans.)
And now...frick it. We had the same joke written down for the MOST UNDERRATED INTERNATIONAL TEAM
. What the heck. All of my writers are fired, you hear me? Never will you work a 2 Chainz Soccer Board Awards show again.
And the winner is...the United States
! Image: http://u.goal.com/241400/241405hp2.jpg
quote: (Everyone in attendance makes the Deuce Face while giving the team a standing ovation. Alan Gordon tries to sneak in the team picture on stage, but he is mauled by security.)
United States: 25.0%
Honduras U-23's, Japan and Sweden: 9.1%
Now, for MOST DISAPPOINTING TEAM
...no surprise here...it's the Netherlands
! Image: http://i2.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article870137.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/Netherlands+v+Denmark+-+Group+B:+UEFA+EURO+2012
quote: (Robin van Persie and Wesley Sneijder shove each other on the way to the stage while the rest of the Dutch national team slump down in their seats. Both RvP and Sneijder want to make an acceptance speech, but one is constantly drowning out the other. Still not as bad on the eyes as their Euro performance.)
Now, our special video presentations. First, winning BEST MATCH
and BIGGEST UPSET
...it's "Cero a Uno"
, the United States over Mexico at the Azteca! Image: http://static1.businessinsider.com/image/502cf2ce6bb3f76118000010/usmnt-wins-versus-mexico-azteca-stadium.png LINK to Highlights
Mexico vs. United States: 65.1%
Portugal vs. Spain: 16.3%
Denmark vs. Portugal and England vs. Sweden: 9.3%
quote: (Brave leads everyone in a rousing chant of "Frick Mexico!" for three solid minutes. A beautiful moment.)
United States over Mexico: 29.5%
Zambia over Ivory Coast: 22.7%
Honduras over Spain: 20.5%
Denmark over Netherlands 18.2%
Mexico over Brazil: 9.1%
Finally, we finish tonight's International Awards with the BEST COMEBACK
...it's already been mentioned tonight, so it should come as no surprise...the winner is Germany vs. Sweden
! Image: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc0al0NW081rvtiu0o1_1280.jpg LINK to Highlights
That concludes tonight's portion of the The 2012 TD.com Soccer Board 2 Chainz True Ass, No Lie Awards Ceremony. Please drive to your hotels safely, and don't try to take of any Zlatan's hookers.
Good night, all.
This post was edited on 12/29 at 12:44 am