Manchester United 16/17 Season-Long Thread: HEY SCH MAKE A NEW ONE THE TOUR STARTS TODAY

After two seasons of a manager who was more known for the goofy stuff he said in his press conferences and completely unexplainable tactical decisions—which followed one season of another manager who was completely in over his head—Manchester United have gone back to their roots.



Despite SCH's desperate pleadings, he's here. The Red Devils have fully embraced their persona as the Premier League's ultimate villain by hiring one José Mário dos Santos Mourinho Félix. The Special One.



Mourinho has won big everywhere he's been, and he's done it his way before the inevitable falling out. Haters are going to hate, but that's never really stopped United before, hasn't it?



The Tactical Genius That Wasn't didn't leave the cupboard completely empty for the Special One, though. There might be enough quality in this side to at least make the knockout stage of the Europa League.

There's Tony Marshall, the Way-Too-Expensive Player Who Was Destined to Flop But Didn't.



There's Marcus Rashford, the Kid Who Took a Country By Storm.



There's Jesse Lingard, the Academy Kid Who Made Sure United Didn't Go Home Trophyless Last Season.



The Best Goalkeeper on the Planet is still here.



The best defensive pairing of hyphenated last names in the world can only get better from here. (They're behind the Wonder Kid.)



And who could forget Mike Smalling?



The midfield is...well, never mind.



There's also a new kid in town—and hopefully one who will ensure 5-foot-nothing Daley Blind doesn't have to play center back that much anymore.



More are on their way, including God's Gift to Football...



...and The One No One Will Spell Correctly on Their First Try.



It's time to be special again, if only for a few seasons before Mourinho gets charged with the murder of Ed Woodward. Leh go.