I'm taking my daughter to a father daughter dance this weekend

quote:

---

These aren’t sweet. They aren’t cute. They’re creepy, and they seek to enforce patriarchal notions of femininity.

These little girls, who are taken out on dates by their fathers, are taught that men should do everything for them. Men open the door. Men pull out the chair. Men buy everything. Men even pick out their dresses and purses, in Fladager’s daughter’s case. It’s incumbent on the man to “ask questions” and draw her out. And it’s his job to validate her inner and outer beauty.

This is 2017. And newsflash, women don’t need men to do things for them. We don’t need some big, bad patriarchal figure to hold the door or compliment our inner beauty. We deserve men who are equal partners, who share life’s journey with us, and who treat us as equals. Daddy-daughter dates include an implicit power dynamic, and it’s not in favor of the girl.

Daddy-daughter dates don’t help girls learn what to expect from men. They teach them that men are superior, and they need to obey them; they try to mold girls into submissive, passive women. They’re one more tool of the patriarchy, one more way to hold girls back, but this time with a creepy sexual edge. If I had a daughter, I wouldn’t send her on dates with my husband.

---