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Started By
Message
How many of these "reviews" do you agree with
Posted on 3/14/15 at 2:30 pm
Posted on 3/14/15 at 2:30 pm
I put in quotes because theyre not really reviews ,just an editor of a website spouting his opinion about a few movies
He calls it...
IF YOU LIKE ANY OF THESE MOVIES, YOU ARE A TOTAL a-hole
LINK
He calls it...
IF YOU LIKE ANY OF THESE MOVIES, YOU ARE A TOTAL a-hole
quote:
Boyhood
?
Why it sucks: I have to start with this one because you people won't shut up about it and it's pretty much why I decided this list needed to be made. Look, I can appreciate the time, and creativity, and effort it took to make this film. But once you take out the gimmick of watching these actors age over time, there's really not much else going on. (Also, if you want to show actors who age over time, don't cast Ethan Hawke. He looks exactly the same as he did in 1994. The guy is immortal.)
Anyway, if I had any interest in watching an uninteresting child grow up over an extended period of time where nothing exciting or eventful happens in his life, I'd go find my old family tapes and binge watch them. In fact, I think I'll go digging through my parent's garage this weekend to find them and submit them for a Best Picture nomination before it's too late.
quote:
Avatar
?
Why it sucks: You know, I too was enamored by how visually breathtaking this movie was in theaters. But for those of you who still enjoy it without the IMAX screen and 3-D, please explain to me why. The plot is unoriginal (which James Cameron himself has pretty much admitted, while filling his swimming pool with $100 bills, probably) and the characters are two-dimensional even if you've got your 3-D glasses on.
quote:
Spring Breakers
?
Why it sucks: You can't just lump a bunch of images of some hot girls in bikinis with a gangster James Franco voice-over repeating "Spring Breeeeeak" over them for 94 minutes and call it a movie. I don't care how attractive Selena Gomez is, no one should ever have to sit through someone else's phone call to their grandma. This glorified music video made over 30 million dollars. If you contributed even a single dollar towards that, then yes, you are in fact an a-hole
quote:
American Hustle
?
Why it sucks: If you asked me to do my best impression of Jennifer Lawrenceoveracting in this movie, I would still be underacting by a long shot compared to Jennifer Lawrence's overacting in this movie. If people weren't raving about her performance so much before I finally saw it, it probably wouldn't have bothered me so much and this movie would never have made this list.
quote:
A Christmas Story
?
Why it sucks: Mainly because TBS crams it down our throats on Christmas Day simply because it has "Christmas" in the title. We've all been brainwashed over the years to associate our love of the holiday season with this not-that-good movie. There are a number of Christmas movies that are more worthy of a 24 hour marathon. "A Christmas Story" is dull and not as funny as you've been fooled into thinking it is. I'll take 24 hours of Clark Griswold's Aunt Bethany and her nonsensical questions over this idiot kid shooting his eye out any day.
quote:
The Interview
?
Why it sucks: As someone who usually enjoys Seth Rogen movies, I was deeply disappointed when I saw the first trailer for "The Interview." There was no way I was going to pay to see it after that, but we all know what happened next. My interest was aroused and the curiosity got the best of me. I paid to see it and for that, I myself am an a-hole. It just wasn't a funny concept to begin with. Not to mention how annoying it was to have to listen to James Franco say "Hate us 'cause they ain't us" a number of times over the course of the movie. Hang on a second, I see a trend here. Maybe I just don't like movies where James Franco repeats things.
quote:
Garden State
?
Why it sucks: Zach Braff. Oh, and the soundtrack was not that good.
quote:
Training Day
?
Why it sucks: Let me start off by saying that, like all of you, I very much enjoyed this movie when it first came out. I've probably seen it 247 times on TV since. And that may be the very reason why I've learned, over time, that it just isn't that great of a movie.
Please go back and watch that movie again and tell me Denzel really deserved an Oscar for that over-the-top performance. There are so many Oscar-worthy Denzel performances, but this isn't one of them. Maybe it was the supporting cast of rappers and their horrible attempts at dramatic acting that made us all think he was really amazing in it. On the other hand, I guess anyone who can take himself seriously while yelling "King Kong ain't got shite on me!" and not crack a smile deserves some kind of award.
quote:
Oz the Great and Powerful
?
Why it sucks: We have all seen "The Wizard of Oz." It's a timeless classic that reminds us of our childhood. Disney used that nostalgia against us and gave us this garbage with James Franco phoning it in in the lead role. Over the course of the movie, it feels like he's reading his already-ridiculous lines off a teleprompter. For the sequel, I'm pretty sure Disney could replace James Franco with a broom and it would have more personality.
When I set out to make this list, I really didn't intend to have multiple movies starring James Franco on it. Now that I think of it, maybe you all aren't the assholes. Maybe James Franco is since he keeps making these shitty films.
LINK
Posted on 3/14/15 at 2:32 pm to Chef Leppard
He nailed Avatar, but I might find him and punch him in the throat for what he said about A Christmas Story.
Posted on 3/14/15 at 2:39 pm to Chef Leppard
quote:
As someone who usually enjoys Seth Rogen movies
Loses all cred with that qualifier.
Posted on 3/14/15 at 2:43 pm to Chef Leppard
quote:
Oh, and the soundtrack was not that good.
Posted on 3/14/15 at 2:43 pm to lsufan9193969700
quote:
I might find him and punch him in the throat for what he said about A Christmas Story.
Posted on 3/14/15 at 2:53 pm to Chef Leppard
quote:
A Christmas Story
Why it sucks: Mainly because TBS crams it down our throats on Christmas Day simply because it has "Christmas" in the title. We've all been brainwashed over the years to associate our love of the holiday season with this not-that-good movie. There are a number of Christmas movies that are more worthy of a 24 hour marathon. "A Christmas Story" is dull and not as funny as you've been fooled into thinking it is. I'll take 24 hours of Clark Griswold's Aunt Bethany and her nonsensical questions over this idiot kid shooting his eye out any day.
Well said
Posted on 3/14/15 at 3:07 pm to Chef Leppard
By the way, I agree with every single one except Spring Breakers. I absolutely love that movie. But ill concede it may be a guilty pleasure, or that im an a-hole
Posted on 3/14/15 at 3:11 pm to Chef Leppard
Spring breakers was probably one of the worst movies I've ever seen
I loved the ending where the 2 drug head college bitches go in with Uzis and kill the entire Miami mafia or whatever all by themselves
I loved the ending where the 2 drug head college bitches go in with Uzis and kill the entire Miami mafia or whatever all by themselves
Posted on 3/14/15 at 3:12 pm to Chef Leppard
I watched Spring Breakers for the first time last night, and I have to say, they movie was terrible and accomplished nothing.
Posted on 3/14/15 at 3:21 pm to Chef Leppard
Agree about Jennifer Lawrence in American Hustle. I don't get the praise for her acting ability and she certainly did not deserve her Oscar nomination for American Hustle. She was easily the weakest part of that movie.
Posted on 3/14/15 at 3:27 pm to Chef Leppard
I agree with the following:
Although I wouldn't say either movie sucked. I actually really like American Hustle, but I agree with what he says about J-Law.
quote:
Boyhood
?
Why it sucks: I have to start with this one because you people won't shut up about it and it's pretty much why I decided this list needed to be made. Look, I can appreciate the time, and creativity, and effort it took to make this film. But once you take out the gimmick of watching these actors age over time, there's really not much else going on. (Also, if you want to show actors who age over time, don't cast Ethan Hawke. He looks exactly the same as he did in 1994. The guy is immortal.)
quote:
American Hustle
?
Why it sucks: If you asked me to do my best impression of Jennifer Lawrenceoveracting in this movie, I would still be underacting by a long shot compared to Jennifer Lawrence's overacting in this movie. If people weren't raving about her performance so much before I finally saw it, it probably wouldn't have bothered me so much and this movie would never have made this list.
Although I wouldn't say either movie sucked. I actually really like American Hustle, but I agree with what he says about J-Law.
Posted on 3/14/15 at 4:11 pm to Chef Leppard
quote:
A Christmas Story
?
Why it sucks: Mainly because TBS crams it down our throats on Christmas Day simply because it has "Christmas" in the title. We've all been brainwashed over the years to associate our love of the holiday season with this not-that-good movie. There are a number of Christmas movies that are more worthy of a 24 hour marathon. "A Christmas Story" is dull and not as funny as you've been fooled into thinking it is. I'll take 24 hours of Clark Griswold's Aunt Bethany and her nonsensical questions over this idiot kid shooting his eye out any day.
This.
Posted on 3/14/15 at 4:29 pm to Chef Leppard
Seems like he was spot on. All of those movies sucked.
Posted on 3/14/15 at 4:35 pm to Chef Leppard
quote:
Boyhood
No desire to ever see this movie. It looks beyond pretentious and boring.
quote:
Avatar
Saw this movie 4 times in the theater and multiple times on Blu Ray at home. It hits all the fantasy and hero's journey tropes I love. I am incapable of giving one shite about how original a movie is. I will watch the exact same plot remade 100 different ways if I love the plot and enjoy everyone of them. I don't understand this ridiculous need for originality or nothing. I just want entertaining.
quote:
Spring Breakers
I watched this movie solely to see boobs. I was incredibly bored and ended up skipping ahead to see how it ends.
quote:
American Hustle
Incredibly boring. I actually turned it off after about 45 minutes and never looked back.
quote:
A Christmas Story
I never understood the appeal of this story, being a bit young for the nostalgia aspect. I have seen it maybe twice.
quote:
The Interview
I watched it due solely to the hoopla surrounding it. I basically skimmed through it because it was not even remotely funny. James Franco is not funny but thinks he is, so his comedic roles are unbearable. Seth Rogen was good in 40 Year Old Virgin and nothing else.
quote:
Garden State
Never even heard of this.
quote:
Training Day
I started this movie once. Got bored after about 10 minutes and turned it off.
quote:
Oz the Great and Powerful
I really enjoyed this movie. Franco was not trying to be funny. I enjoyed the spectacle of it. Not a great movie by any stretch but entertaining none the less.
Posted on 3/14/15 at 4:50 pm to LeonPhelps
quote:
Avatar Saw this movie 4 times in the theater and multiple times on Blu Ray at home. It hits all the fantasy and hero's journey tropes I love. I am incapable of giving one shite about how original a movie is. I will watch the exact same plot remade 100 different ways if I love the plot and enjoy everyone of them. I don't understand this ridiculous need for originality or nothing. I just want entertaining.
This may be the greatest fricking movie review ive ever read
Posted on 3/14/15 at 4:51 pm to Chef Leppard
Spring Breakers is legit but the rest I more or less agree
Posted on 3/14/15 at 5:40 pm to Bench McElroy
I agree 10000% on Christmas story
So many better Christmas movies and I would watch Christmas vacation all damn day if that shite was on a loop
Christmas vacation, Scrooged, Elf off top of my head are much better
So many better Christmas movies and I would watch Christmas vacation all damn day if that shite was on a loop
Christmas vacation, Scrooged, Elf off top of my head are much better
Posted on 3/14/15 at 5:41 pm to dallastiger55
To the guy above who said Seth Rogen was funny in 40 year old virgin and nothing else
I'd like to buy you a beer sometime sir. Agree 100%
I'd like to buy you a beer sometime sir. Agree 100%
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