Want tickets tonight? Post a joke. best joke gets my crappy tickets.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Want tickets tonight? Post a joke. best joke gets my crappy tickets.

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Pierre and Clotile were driving down LA1 when they came across a baby skunk dodging cars near the body of its mother. Having heard that they make good pets, Pierre decided to stop to save the little guy. He got out, ran up, and threw a towel over it. Once he picked it up, it quickly calmed down. So he swaddled it in the towel and walked over to Clotile's window.

She rolled down the window and axed, "What you tink I'mma do wit dat, Pierre?"

"Just put him in your lap until we get home," he replied.

She said, "But it smells soooooo bad, Pierre."

Pierre rolled his eyes and said, "Well, just pinch its little nose."

Three men walk along the beach, they see this pot, they rub it, genie comes out. Genie says, "You wish for anything you want." So, he asks, Mexican what he wants, and he goes, "I want, uh, all my people in America to be happy and free and in Mexico." And so, genie - Poof! And, all the Mexicans are in Mexico. And then he asks the black guy... "What do you want?" And he goes, "I want all my African brothers in America to be back in Africa and happy and everything." So, genie goes poof! And all the black in America are in Africa. So the genie says to the white guy, "What's your one wish?" And the white guy goes, "You mean to tell me all the blacks and mexicans are out of America?" Genie goes, "Yeah." He says, "Well, um, I'll have a Coke, then."


No need for tickets, I have some but thought you like the joke.

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Want tickets tonight?

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You win hands down!

did you hear the energizer bunny got arrested? he was charged with battery.

two antennas got married. the wedding wasn't much but the reception was terrific!

knock knock
who's there?
nobody
nobody who?
...

oh i can't use the tickets either. i just came for the jokes.

if he wants them, he can post and they are his. if not, the first person to post an email gets them.

A kindergarten teacher one day tried to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely". To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence.

One student raises his hand and asks the teacher "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher, stunned, said "of course not!" The student replied, "Then I definitely shite my pants."

A man walks into a bar with a Pig under his arm.

The bartender says...
Where did you get em?

Pig says...
I won him at a raffle!