re: Why do you hate your rival?

Because we almost had a border war with the arrogant asses.

We LSU fans are orphans in terms of a #1 rival; the fans themselves vary in terms of who gets the top spot on the hate list, and no school (except maybe Tulane) holds a mutual such hate. But here’s a loose list of schools in LSU’s universe and why I hate them:

Arkansas - Delusional fan base of a JV football program. Left SWC and brought their Longhorn envy along with them. Accomplished zilch in 20+ years with Wal-Mart money, and their fans have fooled themselves into thinking that they’ve been more than a seat-filler for the SEC (below .500 in the conference all-time). Never was a fan of Nolan Richardson, and it made me happy to see him be fired, and it made me even happier to see their program decline the way it did. Got banned from a Hog board in 2002 for saying that within a decade TCU would be a better program than Arkansas. Turns out I’m apparently smarter than everyone in the state combined.

Texas A&M - Speaking of delusional fan bases, these guys just blew a LOT of money on their Johnny Footboners, and 20 years from now their trophy case will look just like Arky’s does now. Hey, Aggies—you’re all a bunch of “We can secede if we want and we used to be our own country” Texans just like the tea sips, and everybody hates you. Aggy has never been successful in the long term in football without cheating. And leave it to a bunch of damn Texans to cheat, get caught, get kicked off tv, and then have the BALLS to say that LSU owes them half a million dollars for backing out of the deal that Aggy cheated so much that they themselves couldn’t honor. Greatest seat-filler ever. Thanks for all the recruits.

Alabama - Here’s why life isn’t fair. Football is all these people care about. This is because these are dumb, boring people. We from Louisiana are more interesting than they are. These people base their entire emotional well-being on this stupid game, only to see the game constantly deliver desired results for them, so these fricking savages actually get to be happy, and I’m honest enough to admit that for this I am insanely jealous of them. These people get to be absolute retards who live and die by this game played by students at a school they never even went to, and life has the BALLS to reward them for it. I was at the Gump NYC bar opening day 2012 with my Gump friend Dave. I was wearing some LSU gear, and I got a few Roll Tides from different parts of the bar, nothing out of line or anything, easy to play along. A Gump walked by me and pointed to the “21-0” on his hat and was sort of a smartass about it, to which I sheepishly replied, “Yeah. Nailbiter” and then asked him when he went to Bama. He replied that he didn’t go to Bama, so I just dismissively laughed at him because I was yet again reminded that life sucks so fricking hard that that little prick gets to live the rest of his life thinking he “won” that discussion with me when he’ll never have an idea what a classroom in Tuscaloosa looks like.

Ole Miss - I hate these people because every time I’ve ever seen a male Ole Miss student or alumnus, I’ve thought to myself, “My, this man is a huge f——.” Every single goddamn time.

Mississippi State - I do not hate these people. Nay, I like them. I nearly always root for their team to win. I hope word spreads that I openly congratulate their men on having what simply must be way bigger penises than those dandies in Oxford have.

Florida - The bleached-tip-mullet-shades-moustache-tank-top-jorts thing has always been more funny than off-putting to me, but I hate these people because their entire section Tomahawk Chopped Jamie Howard as he lay on the Tiger Stadium field seconds after suffering what turned out to be a career-ending injury. I was 15 at the time and thought, “Those are some rude people.” Now that I’m in my 30’s, I cringe at the thought of me or anyone I knew expressing such joy at the pain of a college student.

ETA: I forgot to include Tulane, which shows you that there's not a whole lot of hate left there. In the fall of 2005 I shared classrooms with displaced Tulane students, so whatever rivalry exists or ever will exist, it likely won't be too hate-based.

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Texas A&M - Speaking of delusional fan bases, these guys just blew a LOT of money on their Johnny Footboners, and 20 years from now their trophy case will look just like Arky’s does now. Hey, Aggies—you’re all a bunch of “We can secede if we want and we used to be our own country” Texans just like the tea sips, and everybody hates you. Aggy has never been successful in the long term in football without cheating. And leave it to a bunch of damn Texans to cheat, get caught, get kicked off tv, and then have the BALLS to say that LSU owes them half a million dollars for backing out of the deal that Aggy cheated so much that they themselves couldn’t honor. Greatest seat-filler ever. Thanks for all the recruits.

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Rivalry Application: Accepted [Denied]

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Never seen a group of people more pretentious about going to the "Harvard of the Midwest"

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Jesus, really?

I could maybe see that from people that went to the University of Chicago or Washington University but Michigan?!? That's terrible.





Anyway, I'd comment on a hated rival but frankly Tulane hasn't been relevant in my lifetime, Ole Miss loses to us in their best years, Alabama has two rivals more important to them historically, and I refuse to claim A&M

Idiotic question, but:

If Tulane were to build a program that hung around the #20 - #40 range (which IS possible, but difficult), would the two schools ever re-consider their gentlemen's agreement to NOT play each other?

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Posted by greenbastard quote: Rivalry Application: Accepted [Denied] LSU fans are submitting rivalry applications at a faster rate than we can deny.

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LSU don't need no rival baw.


beat everyperson

LSU fans drink too much to remember if they have any rivals. They just wake up, look at the schedule, and start hating the next team.