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re: Cant stand this guy in my new GF's social circle
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:10 am to SirWinston
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:10 am to SirWinston
quote:
BTW I'm not like some bitchy cuckold, guys. Our sex is fantastic - and she spends most nights with me already. I am not insecure in the nuts and bolts of our relationship, just the 3 times in 4 weeks of being exclusive that we've hung out around this prick.
I agree that I'm insecure and unhappy and beta in this one situation and I"m trying to figure out how best to handle it.
So far the options seem to be:
A) break up with her
B) Ignore him/it and try to improve the situation subtly next time
C) confront her about it
or,
D) Just accept the fact your GF is getting slammed on the side.
0
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:11 am to SirWinston
quote:
that's exactly what it's like, and i realize in the movie that the chick was banging him.
and it's not the "redneck" version, we're all pretty successful and urbane people.
I just assume all stories like this posted on here happen in Livingston parish
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:11 am to SirWinston
been in that situation before. It's lose lose for you unfortunately.
He has all the advantages as it's his group of friends and you're in enemy territory.
Sucks he's a douche.
Your best bet is to try to find ways to tolerate him. Will be hard if he's hitting on your girl, but no way around it.
I honestly think the best advice is to fight it with kindness and hit on his girl. The good news is that dude is probably friend zoned anyways, so she isn't messing around with him most likely.
He has all the advantages as it's his group of friends and you're in enemy territory.
Sucks he's a douche.
Your best bet is to try to find ways to tolerate him. Will be hard if he's hitting on your girl, but no way around it.
I honestly think the best advice is to fight it with kindness and hit on his girl. The good news is that dude is probably friend zoned anyways, so she isn't messing around with him most likely.
This post was edited on 11/24/14 at 8:13 am
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:12 am to Jreily85
quote:
Why in the hell is she going out with her new "exclusive" BF and chatting up the other guy. That and her talking about him constantly likely means that she is still somewhat into him.
Like I said, everyone has that sideburner flirt they keep around. And in new relationships, that person is still very much around in case the relationship ends. Show the girl she doesnt need that other safety net. Because trying to tear him down will only build him up in her mind.
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:15 am to Breesus
But you don't introduce your new SO to your side burner and hang out with them on weekends. 
Btw, I'm not arguing with you. I'm agreeing with most everything that you're saying.
Btw, I'm not arguing with you. I'm agreeing with most everything that you're saying.
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:15 am to Breesus
quote:
Show the girl she doesnt need that other safety net. Because trying to tear him down will only build him up in her mind.
This too. Don't confront her with an ultimatum or tear him down. It only gets him that much further under your skin.
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:15 am to SirWinston
quote:
I feel like every girl I date is like this - I want to date attractive girls and by nature attractive girls are attention whores.
"Don't you draw the queen of diamonds boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet"
Just saying...
This post was edited on 11/24/14 at 8:38 am
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:16 am to Breesus
To the op, where is your "social circle" if it's near bring him to your neck of the wood as well as your gf. You can either be an arse like you think he is if you want or you can treat him better than he has treated you. Bt the way why are we using hipster terms like social circles and alpha and beta. Whatever happened to using simpler words like friends.
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:18 am to SirWinston
I just went through this with my new SO. Right before we started dating this guy invited her to some music festival and she wanted to go because he was paying for everything. Anytime she would talk about the guy (shite testing me) I wouldn't even acknowledge her; I'd pull my phone out and make a call to someone or ask for a beer.
She told me the other day he's too pushy so she's cutting him off and she wouldn't feel comfortable hanging out with a guy if I'm not there. I didn't reply to that either but it was nice to hear.
With other guys in person I try to make a solid effort to befriend them. If you feel threatened she will be able to tell. It's not worth it. Trust her if you're with her.
She told me the other day he's too pushy so she's cutting him off and she wouldn't feel comfortable hanging out with a guy if I'm not there. I didn't reply to that either but it was nice to hear.
With other guys in person I try to make a solid effort to befriend them. If you feel threatened she will be able to tell. It's not worth it. Trust her if you're with her.
This post was edited on 11/24/14 at 8:19 am
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:18 am to Jreily85
quote:
But you don't introduce your new SO to your side burner and hang out with them on weekends.
If he's a super boss alpha on steroids, you do
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:19 am to SirWinston
quote:
he's a professor in a field that she's passionate about (that's how they met)
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:19 am to Breesus
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:19 am to Old Money
quote:
I just went through this with my new SO. Right before we started dating this guy invited her to some music festival and she wanted to go because he was paying for everything. Anytime she would talk about the guy (shite testing me) I wouldn't even acknowledge her; I'd pull my phone out and make a call to someone or ask for a beer.
She told me the other day he's too pushy so she's cutting him off and she wouldn't feel comfortable hanging out with a guy if I'm not there. I didn't reply to that either but it was nice to hear.
She probably banged that dude at the music festival. But you win in the long run, and handled that situation correctly in my opinion.
This post was edited on 11/24/14 at 8:20 am
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:21 am to lsucoonass
quote:
Bt the way why are we using hipster terms like social circles and alpha and beta. Whatever happened to using simpler words like friends.
Social circle isnt a hipster term. And alpha and beta is a tongue-in-cheek OT expression.
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:21 am to SirWinston
quote:
I really like this idea - I think saying in her ear "I'm going to frick you so well tonight" while she's talking to him, and then I go back to casually chatting his annoying GF.
Dude, stop playing games. Men don't play games. Men say what they want, and deal with the consequences like a man.
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:22 am to Breesus
This thread has not gone the route I predicted... 
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:22 am to Enadious
quote:
I really like this idea - I think saying in her ear "I'm going to frick you so well tonight" while she's talking to him, and then I go back to casually chatting his annoying GF.
That's the worst idea I've ever heard and sounds incredibly immature and inappropriate.
quote:
Dude, stop playing games. Men don't play games. Men say what they want, and deal with the consequences like a man.
This. Women play stupid games. Men don't.
If you bend and start to play the game, you've already lost. That's the whole game.
This post was edited on 11/24/14 at 8:23 am
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:23 am to Breesus
quote:
She probably banged that dude at the music festival. But you win in the long run, and handled that situation correctly in my opinion.
She's not going, it's in December. Cut that shite off quick.
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:24 am to JBeam
Sometimes you just want to give good advice to a guy. He's a beta immature non-confident basket case. No need to tear him down further. I'm trying to build the guy up
Posted on 11/24/14 at 8:25 am to Breesus
His passive aggressive ways will doom him in this situation. Plain & simple.
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