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Started By
Message
son has humerus surgery - how to advise my wife?
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:01 am
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:01 am
My son goes to school in the northeast and plays on the school rugby team. This past week he broke his humerus, the surgery required 5 screws (not sure if a plate was used). His gf has been assisting him post-op and he asking his mom (my wife obviously) to come up and assist him. The earliest she could go would be Thursday/Friday and maybe stay till Tuesday of next week. He will be in a sling and cast for about 6 weeks.
Questions.
1. Should I ask him to turn in his man card and stop asking for his mommy?
2. Not say anything and let her do what she wants to do? I'm not a controlling person - I just think that he needs to get around himself because he's going to be like this for 6 weeks.
I understand surgery can be a bitch - I severed both a bicep tendon and a patellar tendon (knee) so I understand the need to have someone to assist you. In both cases I didn't have anyone stay at home with me while I recovered and it was only a few days before I was getting around the house.
Thanks.
Questions.
1. Should I ask him to turn in his man card and stop asking for his mommy?
2. Not say anything and let her do what she wants to do? I'm not a controlling person - I just think that he needs to get around himself because he's going to be like this for 6 weeks.
I understand surgery can be a bitch - I severed both a bicep tendon and a patellar tendon (knee) so I understand the need to have someone to assist you. In both cases I didn't have anyone stay at home with me while I recovered and it was only a few days before I was getting around the house.
Thanks.
13
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:04 am to Gorilla Ball
humerus surgery is no joke
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:05 am to Gorilla Ball
Could have posted his age...
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:07 am to Kafka
I understand, I just think that in a few days when the pain reduces he might not feel the need to have anyone at his bedside. He just had the surgery on Tuesday.
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:09 am to Gorilla Ball
quote:
I understand, I just think that in a few days when the pain reduces he might not feel the need to have anyone at his bedside. He just had the surgery on Tuesday.
Kafka was just making a punny joke
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:11 am to Gorilla Ball
As long as no incestual pity hand jobs are given... I would think just let it go. Then again, Clint Eastwood would call your son a pussy... so there's that.
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:14 am to efrad
quote:
Could have posted his age...
26 and he's in his final yr of law school - fwiw
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:16 am to efrad
quote:
Kafka was just making a punny joke
get it - sorry a little slow
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:17 am to NATidefan
quote:
As long as no incestual pity hand jobs are given... I would think just let it go. Then again, Clint Eastwood would call your son a pussy... so there's that.
yes -I've already told him that he needs to cowboy up and deal with this.
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:22 am to Gorilla Ball
In all honesty, if your wife has the time to go assist him for a few days... why not let her? I hate the pussification of America as much as the next guy... but like you said you were banged up and it took you a few days to get to where you could take care of yourself again.
I'm sure your son could survive and make it on his own.. but if he is in his last years of law school at 26, give the kid a break. He could be a druggy mooching off you at the moment instead.
I'm sure your son could survive and make it on his own.. but if he is in his last years of law school at 26, give the kid a break. He could be a druggy mooching off you at the moment instead.
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:25 am to Gorilla Ball
Based on the fact his father came to a message board to seek counsel and comfort, it is becoming clear that the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.
At least your boy tried to keep it within the family.
At least your boy tried to keep it within the family.
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:27 am to Gorilla Ball
Is this his first major surgery or broken whatever? Because, IME, the hardest part is not knowing HOW long you are going to be in pain if it a first time thing. He'll start feeling better quickly and your wife will be off the hook.
Another thing - Please don't think me callous for saying this - is that if he, at any point in his life, had a problem with prescription pain pills (maybe something you didn't know about) - Having somebody else there would "keep him on the right path" during recovery. Just throwing that out there as a small chance scenario.
Another thing - Please don't think me callous for saying this - is that if he, at any point in his life, had a problem with prescription pain pills (maybe something you didn't know about) - Having somebody else there would "keep him on the right path" during recovery. Just throwing that out there as a small chance scenario.
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:27 am to RockyMtnTigerWDE
quote:
Based on the fact his father came to a message board to seek counsel and comfort, it is becoming clear that the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:29 am to NATidefan
quote:
In all honesty, if your wife has the time to go assist him for a few days... why not let her? I hate the pussification of America as much as the next guy... but like you said you were banged up and it took you a few days to get to where you could take care of yourself again.
I'm sure your son could survive and make it on his own.. but if he is in his last years of law school at 26, give the kid a break. He could be a druggy mooching off you at the moment instead.
I agree.... You didn't say anything about his gf's situation... she might not be able to be around him often to help him, especially if she's in school herself...
At 26 it doesn't really sound like he needs "his mommy'... it sounds like he and/or his gf are overwhelmed with the situation at hand for whatever reason.
I don't see anything wrong with letting your wife go help him.
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:31 am to efrad
^^^ All of that - I agree.
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:31 am to yurintroubl
quote:
Is this his first major surgery or broken whatever? Because, IME, the hardest part is not knowing HOW long you are going to be in pain if it a first time thing.
Good point, experience is everything... I know I can deal with certain shite cause I've dealt with it before... until you have had to, you don't really know. I don't think being prepared to have help that may be needed should be seen as a weakness.
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:31 am to RockyMtnTigerWDE
quote:
counsel and comfort
counsel - yes frick face, comfort - bend over and i'll give you some comfort.
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:33 am to Gorilla Ball
quote:
counsel - yes frick face, comfort - bend over and i'll give you some comfort.
Now I know why he didn't ask for you.
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:34 am to NATidefan
quote:
all honesty, if your wife has the time to go assist him for a few days... why not let her? I hate the pussification of America as much as the next guy... but like you said you were banged up and it took you a few days to get to where you could take care of yourself again. I'm sure your son could survive and make it on his own.. but if he is in his last years of law school at 26, give the kid a break. He could be a druggy mooching off you at the moment instead.
I agree he's a great kid. It would probably rest my wife's conscience - isn't that what wives/mothers do so well (take care of others?)
Posted on 11/5/14 at 2:34 am to yurintroubl
(no message)
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