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Started By
Message
re: Overstepping My Bounds?
Posted on 10/22/14 at 11:57 pm to FootballNostradamus
Posted on 10/22/14 at 11:57 pm to FootballNostradamus
Short Answer:
GTFO!
Medium Answer:
Getthefrickout!
Long Answer:
Get the frick Out!
Sport, do you see where this shite is going? There are many more normal women with clearly more normal families out there. Pick any other woman on the planet whose family is not named Dahmer or Manson and there's a 99% chance that you will better your situation.
tl/dr: This family's drama transcends generations and will ruin your life and everyone's who gets involved in it.
GTFO!
Medium Answer:
Getthefrickout!
Long Answer:
Get the frick Out!
Sport, do you see where this shite is going? There are many more normal women with clearly more normal families out there. Pick any other woman on the planet whose family is not named Dahmer or Manson and there's a 99% chance that you will better your situation.
tl/dr: This family's drama transcends generations and will ruin your life and everyone's who gets involved in it.
This post was edited on 10/22/14 at 11:59 pm
0
Posted on 10/23/14 at 5:43 am to FootballNostradamus
How is taking him aside and talking to him going to "ruin Christmas"?
He may or may not listen to you, but what's the harm in sharing your wisdom with him? Sounds like someone needs to!
You don't have to be a member of the family to offer him advice. The trick is offering it in a way that he comprehends that you truly care about him, and that your advice is valuable. Good luck, and good for you for caring.
He may or may not listen to you, but what's the harm in sharing your wisdom with him? Sounds like someone needs to!
You don't have to be a member of the family to offer him advice. The trick is offering it in a way that he comprehends that you truly care about him, and that your advice is valuable. Good luck, and good for you for caring.
Posted on 10/23/14 at 5:59 am to Grassy1
LOL at thinking the dad even wants his kid full time. Dad has the ideal setup, no way he wants custody beyond what he currently has now.
Posted on 10/23/14 at 6:48 am to FootballNostradamus
In all seriousness, women with crazy sex-craved sisters usually end up walking out on their man years later.
It's like this: inevitably your marriage will reach a lull or a boring spot.
Your wife will be bored and internalize it. One day, her sister who sees this and who is very miserable in her OWN way, will see this as an opportunity to show your wife what a "good time" is again (bc misery loves company).
The sister and your wife will get all dressed up and go out on the local scene. At some point in the night, at the encouragement of your sister, your shy wife will finally talk to some strange hunky dude at the bar.
Whoa. Your wife's mind is blown that THIS GUY finds her attractive and actually listens to her. Alcohol is consumed and your wife opens up about being bored with you, soon opening up that "black box" of all your tiny mistakes in the past. Naturally, she forms an emotional connection. Sheepishly and full of guilt she exchanges contact info at the end of the night.
The sister, who is hitting it up a few feet away looks on with a sense of witchy accomplishment.
Meanwhile, your at home sleeping. Soon your wife comes in and tries to talk to you but you blow her off out of habit. That seals the deal.
Within weeks she'll be with her new man. The crazy sister's plan was a success.
It's like this: inevitably your marriage will reach a lull or a boring spot.
Your wife will be bored and internalize it. One day, her sister who sees this and who is very miserable in her OWN way, will see this as an opportunity to show your wife what a "good time" is again (bc misery loves company).
The sister and your wife will get all dressed up and go out on the local scene. At some point in the night, at the encouragement of your sister, your shy wife will finally talk to some strange hunky dude at the bar.
Whoa. Your wife's mind is blown that THIS GUY finds her attractive and actually listens to her. Alcohol is consumed and your wife opens up about being bored with you, soon opening up that "black box" of all your tiny mistakes in the past. Naturally, she forms an emotional connection. Sheepishly and full of guilt she exchanges contact info at the end of the night.
The sister, who is hitting it up a few feet away looks on with a sense of witchy accomplishment.
Meanwhile, your at home sleeping. Soon your wife comes in and tries to talk to you but you blow her off out of habit. That seals the deal.
Within weeks she'll be with her new man. The crazy sister's plan was a success.
Posted on 10/23/14 at 7:07 am to FootballNostradamus
Stay out of it completely and we need some pics of your gf & sister
Posted on 10/23/14 at 7:13 am to FootballNostradamus
Mind your own business.
Posted on 10/23/14 at 7:15 am to FootballNostradamus
quote:
Whether I should say something at all as I'm not an actual member of the family
Ding, ding.
Posted on 10/23/14 at 7:58 am to RebelWriter
OP, mind if I ask where Grandad (gf and sister's dad) is?
Posted on 10/23/14 at 8:29 am to FootballNostradamus
How long have yall been dating?
Posted on 10/23/14 at 8:47 am to FootballNostradamus
Sounds like he would be better off with his dad. What is the problem if he moves with his dad? I know there are some sort of sex charges that you have ZERO idea about, but do you realize what those types of charges can come from? Like an 18 yr oldsenior boning a freshman 14 yr old.
So your first job is to know exactly what's in the fathers record and the circumstances.
2nd is why do you think youre any better than the sister. Your snacking up with your gf just like the sister is. Get married or break up. Quit making your gf be just like her sister.
So your first job is to know exactly what's in the fathers record and the circumstances.
2nd is why do you think youre any better than the sister. Your snacking up with your gf just like the sister is. Get married or break up. Quit making your gf be just like her sister.
Posted on 10/23/14 at 8:57 am to FootballNostradamus
My take: if you feel this young man needs guidance, and you feel you have something to offer in that regard, do it.
As men, we all want to respect each other's freedom to choose a path or make a life decision. But we also owe a duty to our young men to offer advice and share our wisdom. It's up to them to decide whether to follow it, but young men have no frame of reference for decisions like this. We should help first-timers like him think through his choices.
As men, we all want to respect each other's freedom to choose a path or make a life decision. But we also owe a duty to our young men to offer advice and share our wisdom. It's up to them to decide whether to follow it, but young men have no frame of reference for decisions like this. We should help first-timers like him think through his choices.
Posted on 10/23/14 at 9:03 am to FootballNostradamus
Not overstepping at all, in fact you should be trying harder to get closer to the teenager. He needs a male role model and you can use him as emotional collateral to manipulate your girlfriend. Once you've solidified your spot as his stand-in father, you can do whatever you like and she'll never leave you for fear of what it might do to him. He gets a good role-model and you get permanent leverage to do whatever you like with your super-classy gal. Good luck.
Posted on 10/23/14 at 9:05 am to LucasP
quote:this is why you are such a DAMN GOOD life coach
Not overstepping at all, in fact you should be trying harder to get closer to the teenager. He needs a male role model and you can use him as emotional collateral to manipulate your girlfriend. Once you've solidified your spot as his stand-in father, you can do whatever you like and she'll never leave you for fear of what it might do to him. He gets a good role-model and you get permanent leverage to do whatever you like with your super-classy gal. Good luck.
Posted on 10/23/14 at 9:09 am to Rouge
in all seriousness I think this is a conversation better had directly with the grandma and the dad instead of the live-in common law BIL and the dad. I think the OPs intentions are noble but I don't think a direct conversation with the dad will result in anything positive.
Posted on 10/23/14 at 9:20 am to Tiger Ryno
quote:
in all seriousness I think this is a conversation better had directly with the grandma and the dad instead of the live-in common law BIL and the dad. I think the OPs intentions are noble but I don't think a direct conversation with the dad will result in anything positive.
Aren't you kinda contridicting yourself here?
Posted on 10/23/14 at 9:58 am to Tiger Ryno
quote:
better had directly with the grandma and the dad
Absolutely horrible advice. If you want to nurture this father-son relationship, you're going to have to stop relying on other family members as a crutch. Be your own man and show him what to do (don't TELL him what to do).
If you're struggling to make a connection with him, try pot. It's pretty harmless and kids seem to really like it at that age. It'll cement your position as the "cool" older role-model.
Posted on 10/23/14 at 9:59 am to LucasP
quote:
LucasP
Always comes strong with sage advice.
Posted on 10/23/14 at 10:07 am to FootballNostradamus
quote:
1. Whether I should say something at all as I'm not an actual member of the family
Will probably work in your favor. You're not overstepping your bounds.
How are you going to approach it? At that age, I think you just need to get him talking without telling him what to do explicitly. Tell him what you think about what he plans to do without lecturing him. Let him know that life will open up a lot for him if he makes the right decisions in the next few years.
Good luck.
Posted on 10/23/14 at 10:38 am to uway
quote:
What is this? A fricking Highway to Heaven episode?
Posted on 10/23/14 at 10:48 am to LucasP
Hilarious stuff as always luke
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