hypothetical - parent runs out of retirement money

Sounds like he at least has an extra home to sell when he spends it all. Maybe that will be his wake-up call.

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he is upside down on the home. I told him 4 years ago to walk. IGNORED. His payment is almost 3k a month for a 2nd home.

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When it's gone it's gone. Some people prepare well for retirement and some don't. Sounds like your old man is in better shape than most. I know people that don't have any retirement accounts and are content with getting the 2K ss check every month.
I would try to get him to talk to a family\estate planner. I am doing this currently with my dad and mom. My mom has Alzheimer's and we are getting a Family trust's in place so that my parent's assests will be protected once she has to go into a nursing home. You never know what the future holds and it sounds like he has considerable assets. They can also help with managing his portfolio ie put him on a budget etc.

I understand how difficult it is to deal with a stubborn parent. It's a shame too - with a reasonable level of spending, $700k plus SS should be plenty

Perhaps you could put a report together that shows the numbers/reasoning behind your concern. There's a difference between telling somebody "you're gonna run out of money" and actually providing the math that proves the same. End the report with a proposed solution(s). If he ran a consulting company, the numbers should grab his attention.

How old is he? FYI 5% w/d rate is about as high as I would go for a sustainable portfolio. That would be producing $35k/yr in income.

sounds like he made his bed, i wouldn't be concerned

My dad is 73 and recently had to go back to work after 10 years of retirement because there wasn't enough retirement income to cover monthly expenses and debt repayment. I made him create a budget with all income and expenses. When he finished, he admitted that he had never created a budget before. Blew me away.

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he is upside down on the home. I told him 4 years ago to walk. IGNORED. His payment is almost 3k a month for a 2nd home.

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Damn! He (and/or your mother) must earn a lot to have lasted this long.

Seriously, there might not be anything you can say. Do you have a family of your own? Maybe you could say that you're concerned he will eventually need your help, which would come at the expense of his grandchildren?

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Damn, that looks like it has all the signs of a very shitty situation in 10yrs.

I have a feeling you're going to be thrown right in the middle of it.

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we already have a really bad relationship. And I suspect it will be really bad once he runs out of money.

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Maybe you could say that you're concerned he will eventually need your help, which would come at the expense of his grandchildren?

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This is what you need to make clear, but it can be a thorny convo. Did he pay for your college/grad school, help you buy a house or car, etc? If he gave you major financial help in adulthood, he may think that you're obliged to help him in retirement. Perhaps you can remind him in a teasing way that he didn't exactly coddle Grandma, so he'd better not expect the same out of you.

You should have this convo w/your spouse as well: how much help does he/she anticipate his/her parents will need? Your dad isn't the only factor in this....if he frittered all his money away but your hypothetical stay-at-home mother in law has minimal social security and no retirement, are you obliged to assist in her retirement while ignoring him? What assistance do you plan to provide your children & for how long? Do you plan to pay for their undergrad or is everyone substantially on their own at 21?

If he's smart enough to run an independent consulting business but simply won't plan for the future, I'd be concerned about depression and/or diminished mental capacity. Again, his wife's age & employment status are important factors...is she young enough to keep working to support him? Is she going to toss him to the curb when he's no longer a gravy train? (I don't mean to offend, I've just seen the youthful wife situation go very wrong, and adult kids can be left to play clean up.)