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Message
hypothetical - parent runs out of retirement money
Posted on 8/7/14 at 12:48 pm
Posted on 8/7/14 at 12:48 pm
So, my father is about to retire. he is not financially ready to retire but he is sick of working. The last time we talked with regards to finances, about 2 years ago, he had about 700k saved up. This is better than most but doesn't support his 2 home/2 bmw/first class life style, he has. He has no pension, and will rely on Social Security to supplement his retirement. His wife will continue to work for 3 more years since she can't get affordable health insurance.
He has always been bad with money, and I expect him to burn through this in less than 10 years.
I am not sure what to do. I have already told him not to retire, he has a good gig (CEO of a consulting company). But he doesn't listen.
Any suggestions? I have no intention of supporting his lifestyle as its ridiculous but I worry he will ask for help when he runs out.
He has always been bad with money, and I expect him to burn through this in less than 10 years.
I am not sure what to do. I have already told him not to retire, he has a good gig (CEO of a consulting company). But he doesn't listen.
Any suggestions? I have no intention of supporting his lifestyle as its ridiculous but I worry he will ask for help when he runs out.
Posted on 8/7/14 at 12:52 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:you can't run other people's lives for them.
Any suggestions? I have no intention of supporting his lifestyle as its ridiculous but I worry he will ask for help when he runs out.
He is not your responsibility, so if he blows his cash he will be poor in 10 years.
Posted on 8/7/14 at 12:53 pm to Hawkeye95
Sounds like he at least has an extra home to sell when he spends it all. Maybe that will be his wake-up call.
Posted on 8/7/14 at 1:01 pm to DownSouthDave
quote:
Sounds like he at least has an extra home to sell when he spends it all. Maybe that will be his wake-up call.
he is upside down on the home. I told him 4 years ago to walk. IGNORED. His payment is almost 3k a month for a 2nd home.
Posted on 8/7/14 at 1:19 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
he is upside down on the home. I told him 4 years ago to walk. IGNORED. His payment is almost 3k a month for a 2nd home.
When it's gone it's gone. Some people prepare well for retirement and some don't. Sounds like your old man is in better shape than most. I know people that don't have any retirement accounts and are content with getting the 2K ss check every month.
I would try to get him to talk to a family\estate planner. I am doing this currently with my dad and mom. My mom has Alzheimer's and we are getting a Family trust's in place so that my parent's assests will be protected once she has to go into a nursing home. You never know what the future holds and it sounds like he has considerable assets. They can also help with managing his portfolio ie put him on a budget etc.
This post was edited on 8/7/14 at 1:24 pm
Posted on 8/7/14 at 1:19 pm to Hawkeye95
I think the only thing you can really do is put all your efforts into making sure he doesn't retire
Posted on 8/7/14 at 1:20 pm to Hawkeye95
I understand how difficult it is to deal with a stubborn parent. It's a shame too - with a reasonable level of spending, $700k plus SS should be plenty
Perhaps you could put a report together that shows the numbers/reasoning behind your concern. There's a difference between telling somebody "you're gonna run out of money" and actually providing the math that proves the same. End the report with a proposed solution(s). If he ran a consulting company, the numbers should grab his attention.
Perhaps you could put a report together that shows the numbers/reasoning behind your concern. There's a difference between telling somebody "you're gonna run out of money" and actually providing the math that proves the same. End the report with a proposed solution(s). If he ran a consulting company, the numbers should grab his attention.
Posted on 8/7/14 at 1:24 pm to hiltacular
So have you told him you won't take him in when he runs out of cash? He may be expecting to live under your roof at age 80+ after playing away his money for the next decade. How did he care for his aging parents? How old is his wife? You can't make him spend wisely or slowly.
And 700K is plenty of money compared to most folks. He doesn't have a money problem, he has a spending problem.
And 700K is plenty of money compared to most folks. He doesn't have a money problem, he has a spending problem.
Posted on 8/7/14 at 1:29 pm to Feed Me Popeyes
How old is he? FYI 5% w/d rate is about as high as I would go for a sustainable portfolio. That would be producing $35k/yr in income.
Posted on 8/7/14 at 1:33 pm to hungryone
My dad retired on 400k and SS and has done fine. Of course, he drives paid for cars and doesn't have a mortgage.
Point being - $700k + SS is fine for most retirees. Enough to not worry about money but not enough to get stupid.
Point being - $700k + SS is fine for most retirees. Enough to not worry about money but not enough to get stupid.
Posted on 8/7/14 at 1:44 pm to Shepherd88
quote:
How old is he?
67. My guess is he makes around $175-200k a year right now
quote:
Perhaps you could put a report together that shows the numbers/reasoning behind your concern. There's a difference between telling somebody "you're gonna run out of money" and actually providing the math that proves the same. End the report with a proposed solution(s). If he ran a consulting company, the numbers should grab his attention.
I did some math for him to show that he should have about $2M saved up. this was 5 years ago, he said it was impossible to save 2M.
quote:
He doesn't have a money problem, he has a spending problem.
Oh definitely.
He should be set for life, he has cleared 6 figures since the early 90s. There is no reason he isn't already retired, and enjoying life except for his lavish lifestyle.
BTW, he shoved his mother into a home as soon as she couldn't take care of herself. She was poor and he didn't help her at all. I don't have a prlbme doing the same, just trying to figure out how to approach it.
Posted on 8/7/14 at 1:50 pm to Hawkeye95
sounds like he made his bed, i wouldn't be concerned
Posted on 8/7/14 at 1:52 pm to Hawkeye95
With zero debt, the $700K plus SS would be plenty. But with mortgage debt and BMW's, he needs to work for three more years at least. You can't have it all.
Posted on 8/7/14 at 1:59 pm to Hawkeye95
My dad is 73 and recently had to go back to work after 10 years of retirement because there wasn't enough retirement income to cover monthly expenses and debt repayment. I made him create a budget with all income and expenses. When he finished, he admitted that he had never created a budget before. Blew me away.
Posted on 8/7/14 at 2:01 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
Any suggestions? I have no intention of supporting his lifestyle as its ridiculous but I worry he will ask for help when he runs out.
Damn, that looks like it has all the signs of a very shitty situation in 10yrs.
I have a feeling you're going to be thrown right in the middle of it.
Posted on 8/7/14 at 2:01 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
he is upside down on the home. I told him 4 years ago to walk. IGNORED. His payment is almost 3k a month for a 2nd home.
Damn! He (and/or your mother) must earn a lot to have lasted this long.
Seriously, there might not be anything you can say. Do you have a family of your own? Maybe you could say that you're concerned he will eventually need your help, which would come at the expense of his grandchildren?
Posted on 8/7/14 at 2:11 pm to 90proofprofessional
quote:
Damn! He (and/or your mother) must earn a lot to have lasted this long.
yeah, I think their combined income was around $220-250k.
quote:
Do you have a family of your own? Maybe you could say that you're concerned he will eventually need your help, which would come at the expense of his grandchildren?
no family. So that angle won't work.
quote:
When he finished, he admitted that he had never created a budget before. Blew me away.
at 60, my father admitted he had never owned a stock or mutual fund before.
at the time, i was 33. I had more in savings at 33 as my 60 yo father had. I don't know what is exact savings is right now, but I wouldn't be surprised if at 40 I have more than he does.
Crazy!
Posted on 8/7/14 at 2:14 pm to Lsut81
quote:
Damn, that looks like it has all the signs of a very shitty situation in 10yrs.
I have a feeling you're going to be thrown right in the middle of it.
we already have a really bad relationship. And I suspect it will be really bad once he runs out of money.
Posted on 8/7/14 at 2:16 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
67. My guess is he makes around $175-200k a year right now
Definitely has a spending problem if he makes that kind of money and has only saved $700K. Help him plan a retirement budget, or work with a financial counselor and get him on that budget and not wavering from it.
Posted on 8/7/14 at 2:16 pm to 90proofprofessional
quote:
Maybe you could say that you're concerned he will eventually need your help, which would come at the expense of his grandchildren?
This is what you need to make clear, but it can be a thorny convo. Did he pay for your college/grad school, help you buy a house or car, etc? If he gave you major financial help in adulthood, he may think that you're obliged to help him in retirement. Perhaps you can remind him in a teasing way that he didn't exactly coddle Grandma, so he'd better not expect the same out of you.
You should have this convo w/your spouse as well: how much help does he/she anticipate his/her parents will need? Your dad isn't the only factor in this....if he frittered all his money away but your hypothetical stay-at-home mother in law has minimal social security and no retirement, are you obliged to assist in her retirement while ignoring him? What assistance do you plan to provide your children & for how long? Do you plan to pay for their undergrad or is everyone substantially on their own at 21?
If he's smart enough to run an independent consulting business but simply won't plan for the future, I'd be concerned about depression and/or diminished mental capacity. Again, his wife's age & employment status are important factors...is she young enough to keep working to support him? Is she going to toss him to the curb when he's no longer a gravy train? (I don't mean to offend, I've just seen the youthful wife situation go very wrong, and adult kids can be left to play clean up.)
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