Official OT Tiered Trashy Ratings: Vehicles

This is a guide to help you accurately define the extent of trashy an individual is likely to be based on how they choose to accessorize their vehicle.

Tier 0/Not Trashy:
Baseline tier from which all subsequent tiers will be judged. Signs include a late model vehicle with no stickers of any kind, no visible signs of a collision, no aftermarket chrome, spoilers, or other additions, and especially no ornamental vehicle decorations of any kind such as gameday flags, rudolf noses, christmas wreaths, eyelashes (wow), etc. These people are secure, stable individuals who do not require outside attention and do not feel the need to tell strangers about their hobbies, profession, or where they are going.

Warning: It is entirely possible that a Tier 3 or higher individual has recently purchased a Tier 0 vehicle and has plans to ruin it. These people are difficult to pinpoint, but if you see a Tier 0 vehicle being driven by someone who is smoking, wearing white sunglasses or a flat bill hat, has more than just the driver side window down, or is listening to excessively loud music, it is safe to assume they are at least Tier 3.


Beware: multiple offenses happening inside a Tier 0 Ferrari

Tier 3:

Includes all temporary or otherwise removable additions. These people at least have the good sense not to make an irreversible change to their vehicle. Any sticker at all will put you into the running for a undesirable tier, but not all stickers qualify as trashy. For example, an SUV with only a 30A or 13.1 sticker is not deemed "trashy."


Insufferable =/= trashy, but trashy = insufferable.


IWHI, but Tier 3 nonetheless


Put one of these, and you're immediately upper echelon Tier 3. More than one, and you bypass Tier 2 and go straight to Tier 1.


Sorry mom, textbook Tier 3.

Tier 3 individuals can still be good people, and you probably know a couple that are harmless. If you care about them, talk to them now about the life they're leading before it's too late.

Tier 2: These individuals want everyone to know of the tragedy or celebration in their lives. Violators include RIP decals and subtle brag license plates.


My condolences to your loved one, but they wouldn't have wanted you advertising your grief for sympathy from motorists. This is about you, not them. Tier 2.


Poor form

Conversely, individuals who could not afford a higher trim level on their model vehicle and add aftermarket bling to spruce up its outward appearance fall into Tier 2, as well as those who have added more than one permanent upgrade to their vehicle (rims+spoilers, KC lights+winch, etc.)


You're not fooling anyone with your cloth seats and aftermarket grill. Everybody knows that's an LS.


Awful.



Tier 1

Symptoms include vulgar and inappropriate messages and innuendos:

Classic trash


I wish it said "deers".


Cringe.

This tier is also reserved for those who layer and combine Tier 3 and Tier 2 characteristics. By themselves, one or two stickers or douchey rims may only land you in Tier 3, but pile them on and you are quickly thrust into Tier 1.


This rugged, outdoorsy type needs a suped-up truck for all the mud he'll never drive through.

Tier 1 individuals are not humans in the traditional sense that we know humans to exist. They are actually aliens visiting us from a rural cluster of planets even further on the outskirts than we are from the center of the civilized, urban milky way. From what we can gather, they were unhappy with the minority alien population springing up around them and decided to move as far away as possible. Hundreds of thousands of years passed with their singular gene pool in complete isolation from the rest of the universe. Evolution ceased, and their culture and lexicon devolved into something unrecognizable. Because this move happened before our species existed, very little is known about the why and how, but what's important now is that we recognize the signs of their existence here on Earth and do our best to keep a safe distance.