Best OK Cupid or POF Opening

"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" The classics always work best.

Chains, whips, cuffs. Any questions?

"Hey Girl! Let me sperm on dem titties!"

"I am very, very lonely. I haven't had sex with anyone in a very long time, and you're very beautiful. Please, please have sex with me."

Jeff Winger brings that wood.

Would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses, or 1 horse sized duck?

Sit on my face so I can eat my way to your heart.

Hey! What's up?? Full disclosure, I'm just coming off of a divorce. It's OK, I don't think about her much. Seriously what a bitch, think you can just be a count all of the time and never have sex with me then just expect me to clean the garage at your fricking convenience? What a whore. Yeah, you're independent except for all of that alimony and child support right bitch? Real good feminist you are, can't even pay your own fricking bills. Guess companies aren't looking for art history majors with 6 years experience watching Days of our Lives and neglecting dishes.

Anyway, want to grab some dinner?

I would either say something about a picture they had or use this opener. Also, send messages to every girl, success rate on dating sites is abysmally low, like 1 out of 100.


subject: DO NOT READ

message:

If you were cat you'd be in big trouble right meow!

so i said to myself this online thing is so
delicate...within 2 lines of the conversation
you can surmise that someone is either
extremely cool and fun or make you want to
delete you account and run for the ocean.

so total we have 4 lines to decide if the
ocean is worth running for...ill start...hi
=)

quote:

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Best opening would be..... "Wanna play circus? You sit on my face and I'll guess your weight"

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Let's play Pearl Harbor. I lay down and you blow the hell out of me.