Anyone find themselves in a yard competition with their old retired neighbor?

I live in a nice upper middle class neighborhood. Houses are prim and proper, you don't see people parking their cars outside, and most yards are perfectly manicured.

I work hard on my yard as a hobby, but mostly to keep up with my old retired neighbor's yard. His retirement affords him the luxury to spend all day on his yard. It's perfectly trimmed, perfect color, no bare spots, perfect mowed lines that alternate each weak to create a perfect diamond cut pattern. His yard is just perfect, and that is a big compliment because almost all yards in the neighborhood are immaculate.

This year, I laid down lime in the early spring to balance out the PH levels in the dirt (SW Missouri's dirt is very acidic), I patched some small sporadic bare spots with sod, I sprayed for weeds, and I've laid down the appropriate fertilizer.

Spring rains have been plentiful and wouldn't you believe it...my yard nearly matches his yard in quality. It's a damn green carpet of pure awesome!

Just when I thought I leveled the playing field in this neighborly yard war, I noticed the old bastard strategically inserting mole traps throughout his yard. Then he sprayed the yard to kills grubworms...

...and now the moles have evacuated his yard and entered my yard for sanctuary.

That old arse fricker.