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Started By
Message
Is this a red flag? ie: dating and dealing with girl's mom
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:26 pm
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:26 pm
I've been dating a girl a few months. She's 28, has a good job, owns her own house and actually has her shite together. There is one problem, and it's her mother. This girl is the only daughter (2 older brothers) and she's mom's pride and joy. Well, her mom has a bad habit of just dropping in to her daughter's house unannounced. As in, we'll be watching tv at 9pm and her mom stops in to say "hi". I should also mention that her parents live about a mile away.
Well, last week her mom decided to do a "pop in" at 8am on a Saturday after I had spent the night and was still there. Her mother seemed surprised to see me there so early, but she didn't seem to have an issue with it. Today my girl tells me that we should probably just spend the night at my place from here on out because her mother gave her a big lecture about allowing men (me) to sleep over.
I have no issue with that, but is this a red flag that her mother has too much control over her? I would think that an independent 28 year old woman would have no issue telling her mother that it's her house and she can do what she wants, but what do I know? I don't have daughters, so I guess I can imagine what it's like. I really dig this chick, but I don't want to deal with mama drama. I have had zero issues with girl's mothers in the past, btw.
Well, last week her mom decided to do a "pop in" at 8am on a Saturday after I had spent the night and was still there. Her mother seemed surprised to see me there so early, but she didn't seem to have an issue with it. Today my girl tells me that we should probably just spend the night at my place from here on out because her mother gave her a big lecture about allowing men (me) to sleep over.
I have no issue with that, but is this a red flag that her mother has too much control over her? I would think that an independent 28 year old woman would have no issue telling her mother that it's her house and she can do what she wants, but what do I know? I don't have daughters, so I guess I can imagine what it's like. I really dig this chick, but I don't want to deal with mama drama. I have had zero issues with girl's mothers in the past, btw.
This post was edited on 3/1/14 at 3:27 pm
69
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:28 pm to lsuwontonwrap
Need pics of gf and her mom to give an appropriate response
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:28 pm to lsuwontonwrap
She needs to grow up and remind her mother she is an adult and ask her to call before coming by.
Ps. That's some horseshite, I can understand not wanting to make waves, but she really needs to put mom in place
Ps. That's some horseshite, I can understand not wanting to make waves, but she really needs to put mom in place
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:28 pm to lsuwontonwrap
She's gotta die eventually.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:29 pm to lsuwontonwrap
Run dude.. it will only get worse
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:29 pm to lsuwontonwrap
Talk to her about it. Say some bullshite about how you don't want to come between family and her mom is an important part of her life but you're worried she may control too much when y'all get more serious.
Then piihb
Then piihb
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:30 pm to lsuwontonwrap
WNDI
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:31 pm to lsuwontonwrap
yes
the girl will eventually grow less supportive of taking a stand against her mother's interference and will be unlikely to be happy with the idea of moving somewhere else where you guys have a job opportunity etc
she's probably a wonderful girl (most adult women still very attached to their parents are) but she's never going to put your relationship ahead of her parents.
the girl will eventually grow less supportive of taking a stand against her mother's interference and will be unlikely to be happy with the idea of moving somewhere else where you guys have a job opportunity etc
she's probably a wonderful girl (most adult women still very attached to their parents are) but she's never going to put your relationship ahead of her parents.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:31 pm to lsuwontonwrap
she's fricking 28 years old. her mom needs to gtfo, and if the girl isn't down with that, she's more dependent than you thought.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:31 pm to lsuwontonwrap
Just live with it. It's no big deal and she's jut being a mother. My mother was the same towards her daughters and my wife's mother was the same as well. Go sleep at your house. What's the problem?
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:31 pm to lsuwontonwrap
Your gf needs to set some boundaries.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:32 pm to lsuwontonwrap
I say keep hitting it until you get tired of it and move on.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:32 pm to lsuwontonwrap
Draw your lines now or prepare to be enclosed by the lines of others.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:34 pm to Tiguar
quote:
Talk to her about it.
yeah, I'm gonna do that. I could tell she felt really weird telling me that we probably shouldn't stay at her place.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:34 pm to lsuwontonwrap
quote:
I really dig this chick
Sorry to say but maybe she doesn't feel the same? I mean, at 28 why is she letting her mom tell her what to do at her own house with her man?
Don't put an ultimatum, but you need to have a straight talk with your chick. No way would I continue this relationship if we couldn't stay at my gf's own house.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:34 pm to chesty
Maybe her mom doesn't want folks to think she's a tramp? She old school. I'm sure she told her already "He ain't gonna buy the cow honey when he getting the milk for free". Anyone who thinks this is mettlesome has led a sheltered life. I seen and dated women with way worse mothers. Mom is just looking out for her. Come back and complain when she stops giving you the sex. This is amateur.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:36 pm to Sho Nuff
quote:
Don't put an ultimatum, but you need to have a straight talk with your chick. No way would I continue this relationship if we couldn't stay at my gf's own house.
or let her read this thread
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:38 pm to lsuwontonwrap
As long as you realize there's likely no future with her, you're fine.
A nosy girlfriend's mother turns into a demanding, overbearing mother in law.
A nosy girlfriend's mother turns into a demanding, overbearing mother in law.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:38 pm to lsuwontonwrap
Oh by the way, pick your fights. This ain't a good one trust me. If you really see yourself with this lady further down the road then this is a good thing. Imagine y'all have children, oh let's say a daughter, wouldn't you want her telling yalls daughter the same thing? She's just looking out for her well being and if she acquired some of that from her own mom, then you will have a great mother for your own children.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 3:39 pm to zztop1234
quote:
Run dude.. it will only get worse
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