What's the weirdest dream you ever had?

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My story begins in the middle, as so many of my stories do, with a dream. I dream that aliens are planning to take over the earth. I am the only one who knows this, and have been knowing it (as we say in these parts) for some time, although I do not know how I know. One night, as I stand on the front lawn with my young son, I see an explosion on the surface of the moon. “It is them," I think. “It has begun." (In the world I will wake up to, it is February, 1986, with the Challenger explosion only a few weeks behind us.) I don’t tell anyone of the impending invasion. Who would believe me? Even before the alien ships arrive, odd things begin happening on the earth, things I know are part of a campaign to weaken and disorient us. There is the night, for instance, that I listen to my radio and hear a bulletin announcing that bears have escaped from the zoo thirty miles away. Seconds later, they are on my front lawn. My son and I lock ourselves in and call the police. “The aliens did this,” I think, and am frightened. When the aliens arrive, they look like humans and act like slightly demented social workers. They have come with the idea of being helpful, actually, but it is their own idea of helpfulness, which involves protecting Earthlings from any form of vice, emotion, fun or power. Cars are soon forbidden, as they cause accidents, clog up the atmosphere, and take people to places where trouble can be found, indeed, sought after. Alcohol, of course, is outlawed, as is chewing gum since it gets thrown away and sticks to people’s shoes. In short, they are tyrants, but tyrants of a cheery, smiley sort. We Earthlings plot revolt. One day (in this dream) I arrive home and find a smiling blonde alien removing my stereo to the attic. “It makes noise. You don’t like noise,” she says as she steals my property. I realize suddenly that it is she, the alien, who does not like noise, is in fact terrified of it. I have the weapon I have been seeking. We Earthlings will use noise to defeat the aliens. And that is where I woke up. I cannot tell you, although I wish I knew, whether we retook Earth, and it doesn’t matter to the rest of my story.

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