Should I ? For employment

How comfortable is your pocketbook at your current job? That would probably be the determining factor for me.

Your current situation seems pretty sweet, minus the 40K difference. That's a lot of money, but you have to decide if the tradeoffs are worth it.
Two small kids would be a major deciding factor for me.

Over a $100K now

Kids are a big deal. 3 & 1. Wished this would come along when they are a little older

How many nights away from you are we talking about? Going from none to 1 a week or going from 1 to 3 or 4 a week?

Kids ages 3 & 1 are pretty young. They're only that age once. $40K is a lot, but I don't think I could do it.

Can you leverage the offer with your current job? Maybe swing a $10-15K raise out of it?

My only advice, never do anythign solely for money. I have had offers with 20% to 25% raises, however at my current job I get 22 PTO days and any day I work more than 4 hours it is not considered PTO. So I get about a 30 to 35 days off a year, lots of flex time, and I work when I want to work. That being said, at some point the increase in money will move from a 'want' to a 'need.'

Also, without knowing the % raise/increase 40K may not be materail. I'm guessing it means something for you to be asking.

You can learn to lead a micro manager. I had no choice after my boss at one company retired.

Every day with the new boss I met with him at 9 am and asked "what are my priorities for today." Had another meeting at 2 pm to review progress.

He thought he was in control, left me alone and I survived 3 years of this.

I wrote up my performance review. He signed it.

All at good money.

Do you think you're worth more or that you can take on more responsibilities to increase your worth to the company? Sounds like a new job would take a good 20% more of your time away from family. Would this allow your wife to quit her job or provide you other benefits with the additional pay?

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You can learn to lead a micro manager. I had no choice after my boss at one company retired.

Every day with the new boss I met with him at 9 am and asked "what are my priorities for today." Had another meeting at 2 pm to review progress.

He thought he was in control, left me alone and I survived 3 years of this.

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This won't always work, though. I had a boss that many of you may have seen on television (if you've watched commercial television in Central Louisiana) - he would insist on detailed, daily reports, so I would make it a log, assuming he would read it and stay in touch with what I was doing. He regularly called me and ask what's going on, even though I was putting it in painstaking detail in the daily reports. If I backed off the detail (because he was going to call, anyway), he would call more often, then complain about the work I wasn't getting done because, at one point, all I was doing was covering conference calls for him, and dictating reports about those conference calls.

On one project, I brought 3 or 4 different outlines of a presentation, he rejected each one (several hours of work at that point) - with the same, "It's just not what I want." I probed, "Well, what do you want?"

"I don't know, but I'll know it when I see it." Once I couldn't get a raise, I left and never looked back. Life is too short to be miserable all the time with a boss you cannot please.