Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)

I only remember his comment about Miss States sign for stealing 2nd base was him running his fingers up his forearm repeatedly and fast

"The first time I took the team to Starkville and the players were studying for finals on the bus ride there.

Mississippi state police stopped our bus and arrested our players for attempting to smuggle books into Mississippi.

We were able the get the charges dropped though because no judge in Mississippi had ever actually seen a book before."

"Starkville is the place where the FBI sends people in the witness protection program."

at a taf meeting, Skip said that Starkville was the only town in America where the population was stagnet, never went up nor never went down. He said" A girl would get pregnant-a guy would leave town".He was the best!

This is not a Skip Bertman quip, but may be related. Back in 1989, I owned a 1983 King Cab with an LSU tag on the front. I lived in Mobile, and had just accepted a position at Mary Holmes College in West Point, MS., near Starkville. My wife and daughter remained in Mobile while I established things in West Point, but I drove home using Alabama Hiway 17 every other weekend to see them. The locals in West Point said I was welcome but the LSU tag wasn't. I said I would remove it when MSU beat LSU. LSU didn't win many games that year (Mike Archer was coach), but they beat MSU and Ole Miss. On one of those trips from West Point to Mobile, I was near a little town named Dancy (Alabama) when a huge hound dog ran out in front of me and I hit it. The dog yelped and I got out of the truck to help it but could not find it, though I searched for several minutes. It was dark, so I got back into my truck and drove off. Later, I looked at the truck to see how much damage the accident caused, and noticed that the tag was bent completely in half, but not broken. If anyone says God doesn't have a sense of humor, I'd debate it--He seemed to say the LSU had truly gone to the dog(s). It also was a way of saying that, though LSU was somewhat bent, it was not broken, and the Tigers, just as that tag was straightened, would soon be restored to prominence. Interestingly, several years later, after the second overtime loss in 2007, He told me that LSU will play in the National Championship game (though He didn't tell me who would win). This does illustrate the fact that God is active in our everyday lives. Unfortunately, He doesn't give me an inside track on football scores, but I knew UGA would beat LSU this past weekend. However, GEAUX Tigers.

Um.....cool story, Bro???

quote:

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I don't think you're "all there". Miss your pills this morning?

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Yes, perhaps I did. I didn't take the two Alleve after the softball game I pitched last night, and I am a little sore. I did, however, take my Ginko, vitamins, and BP medicine. BTW, how many pills will you be taking at 64 years of age?

Also, to the USAFan who posted later: Which USA did attend? I got my Ph.D. (1999) and one of my two Masters degrees at The University of South Alabama and worked there for 20 years--any chance we ran into each other?

BTW, you act like you were there and know all about God--tell me, what is His will for your life?