Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge) | TigerDroppings.com

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blueboy
LSU Fan
between here and there
Member since Apr 2006
17565 posts

Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)



Rented this one last night, and I have to say, this was the most disjointed, nonsensical plot I've ever seen. The movie looked great, but the story struggled so hard to make sense of itself, it was just one "are you fricking serious" after another.

Spoilers:

The best example of this is when Morgan Freeman and Jaime Lannister just let Cruise and Squeeze ride off on the motorcycle to "find the truth" but really, with what should have been no reasonable expectation that events would unfold as they did.

And the lines are ridiculous. When did Hollywood lose it's ability to craft an even mildly clever one-liner. "That's one pissed off weapon?" "frick you, Sally?" Really? All of that idiotic buildup and that's the best you self-styled "elites" can come up with? That was right up there with "You have so got to die" from I Robot.

Is it the Idiocracy? Do they think they need to write simpleton monkey one-liners because what used to be clever now sounds "pompous and faggy?"

This also smacks of the ever-present PC chick producer who shoots down all of the writers' ideas because every single one of them might offend someone, somewhere, somehow - so they might get a bit of an out, but still suck for not being able to do better.

So, without the shackles of stupidity or severely mis-appointed authority, let's see how many people can come up with a better one-liner for the climax.

The setup: "Sally" an alien supercomputer bent on destroying the human race while raping the planet of water, has just informed Cruise that she is his "god," having cloned/created him. She says this just before Cruise sets off a nuke which destroys the alien craft, and himself (and Morgan Freeman) with it.

Sally: "I created you. I am your God"
Cruise: "___________________________"

Just for the frick of it, I'll go with "Bull shite. God is a dude."

Still better than the movie.







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constant cough
LSU Fan
Lafayette
Member since Jun 2007
38535 posts

re: Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)


I thought it was really good.





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nicholastiger
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2004
6738 posts

re: Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)


That movie was not worth that long of a post.
Take it for what it was, everybody knew it was going to blow!






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ToesOnTheNose213
Southern Cal Fan
The present
Member since Oct 2007
1354 posts

re: Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)


I though the movie was entertaining. The VFX and sound design were out of this world.

****SPOILERS*****



But Cruise's opening five minute v.o. monolgue was friggin' brutal, and the flick definitely had a few errors. The most glaring of which was Cruise freaking out when the drone was shooting at the people (Cruise's former crew mates) in the life pods.

Cruise: "It's shooting at them!!"

Well no shit, Tom! You've had to identify yourself to the drone every freaking time so it doesn't kill you. Of course it's gonna shoot at these other people.

And, this is me being really nitpicky, I also didn't like that whenever they showed the drone's POV it said "cleared" or "targeting" or whatever it said in english. Uh, this is an alien robot. That wouldn't happen. I know it's for the audience's benefit, but still pretty weak.



This post was edited on 8/14 at 1:20 pm


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AmosMosesAndTwins
New Orleans Saints Fan
Lake Charles
Member since Apr 2010
12664 posts

re: Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)


I enjoyed it.





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SouthOfSouth
LSU Fan
South of I-10 till I die
Member since Jun 2008
34838 posts

re: Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)


***SPOILERS***

Watched on bluray last night. Looked great, but I kept waiting to see the aliens and was disappointed when it was just robots. So dumb IMO. Who made the machines? Come on...






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ToesOnTheNose213
Southern Cal Fan
The present
Member since Oct 2007
1354 posts

re: Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)


quote:

I kept waiting to see the aliens and was disappointed when it was just robots. So dumb IMO. Who made the machines? Come on...


That was actually the most interesting thing about the movie to me... who made that thing?

And honestly that's a genius strategy by the aliens. Send out these doomsday machines throughout the galaxy to find resources, wipe out any obstacles (indigenous peoples, physical blockades, etc.), and clear the path for your arrival, or just have the machines bring back the goods. Mine the entire galaxy and none of your people have to do a damn thing.






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USMCTiger03
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Member since Sep 2007
64343 posts

re: Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)


I just thought they did a poor job communicating the clone aspect and some background info, but I was drinking when I saw it so I may have missed some things. I thought it was a time warp or something.

Line: "I'm destroying you, so that makes me yours as well..."






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CarRamrod
USA Fan
Spurbury, VT
Member since Dec 2006
35282 posts

re: Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)


quote:

ow, Oblivion really sucked
i watched it this weekend and i concur.






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Carson123987
LSU Fan
Middle Court at the Rec
Member since Jul 2011
38979 posts

re: Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)


quote:

Sally: "I created you. I am your God"
Cruise: "there's no such thing as god"






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SCTmo
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2007
1436 posts

re: Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)


quote:

Sally: "I created you. I am your God"
Cruise: "Lucky for me. <beat> I'm an Atheist.






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AmosMosesAndTwins
New Orleans Saints Fan
Lake Charles
Member since Apr 2010
12664 posts

re: Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)


quote:

Sally: "I created you. I am your God"
Cruise: "These pretzels are making me thirsty."






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BaddestAndvari
New Orleans Saints Fan
That Overweight Racist State
Member since Mar 2011
11418 posts

re: Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)


quote:

Sally: "I created you. I am your God"
Cruise: "Are people really watching this movie still... really!?!?!?!"






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CarRamrod
USA Fan
Spurbury, VT
Member since Dec 2006
35282 posts

re: Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)


quote:

Sally: "I created you. I am your God"
Cruise: "Take the dick out of your mouth BaddestAndvari!!!!!!!!!!!!!"






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wildtigercat93
LSU Fan
Hammond, LA
Member since Jul 2011
44920 posts

re: Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)


quote:

Sally: "I created you. I am your God" Cruise: "TLDR"






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BaddestAndvari
New Orleans Saints Fan
That Overweight Racist State
Member since Mar 2011
11418 posts

re: Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)


quote:

Sally: "I created you. I am your God"
Cruise: "Take the dick out of your mouth BaddestAndvari!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


is it bad that I actually liked this movie..? Seriously, was a good anti-war movie.






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blueboy
LSU Fan
between here and there
Member since Apr 2006
17565 posts

re: Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)


quote:

And, this is me being really nitpicky, I also didn't like that whenever they showed the drone's POV it said "cleared" or "targeting" or whatever it said in english. Uh, this is an alien robot. That wouldn't happen. I know it's for the audience's benefit, but still pretty weak.

Well, as far as that goes, he was the repair guy, and she was the monitor, so it actually does make sense that all of the technology they'd be exposed to would be in English.

What about the end? He just leaves her there in his forest hideaway and she has a kid, raises him for a few years (after delivering him herself, apparently), and ends up with not only some really well-fitting baby clothes, she looks like she's wearing shite she just got at J Crew. Then and only then do the others finally find her and she gets to meet clone Cruise, so he still sorta gets to frick her, in spirit. Yay. Roll credits. What about all the other clone Cruises who probably love her just as much. Shouldn't they all get to duke it out or something?

He doesn't leave her with the other humans? Nope. She had to deliver and raise her own baby, struggle with agriculture and basic 10th century living conditions in complete solitude. Because it was Cruises dreamy getaway place. What the frick ever.






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Backinthe615
Member since Nov 2011
2370 posts
 Online 

re: Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)


The other day I bought one of the subs at Exxon and as I ate it I wondered what could suck more than that sandwich. I found out later that night it was Oblivion. Those two chicks were so bad they made Cruise look like Brando.





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busbeepbeep
New Orleans Saints Fan
:nolarugby.com:
Member since Jan 2004
10032 posts

re: Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)


quote:

The VFX and sound design were out of this world.

yep watched it on Bluray solely for its reference quality. Movie was average to me. Not good, not terrible






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Eric Nies Grind Time
Georgia Tech Fan
Atlanta, GA
Member since Sep 2012
13385 posts

re: Wow, Oblivion really sucked (spoilers and M/TV board challenge)


I don't remember much about this movie other than it seemed like Cruise insisted that every female cast member be madly in love with him.





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