Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes | TigerDroppings.com

Posted byMessage
TheSexecutioner
Gonzaga Fan
Member since Mar 2011
2262 posts

Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


Being that A Confederacy of Dunces is the only Pulitzer Prize winning book published by LSU, this thread seems appropriate for this forum.

"Already he was polishing a few carefully worded accusations designed to reduce his mother to repentance or, at least, confusion"

"Somewhere in Fantasyland, Ignatius was dreaming of a terrified Myrna Minkoff being tried by a court of Taste and Decency and found wanting. A dreadful sentence was about to be pronounced, something guaranteeing physical injury to her person as penance for innumerable offenses."

"A vagrant petitioned for a hot dog. I waved him away and strode forth."







Back to top
Share:
White Roach
LSU Fan
Madisonville, LA
Member since Apr 2009
2253 posts
 Online 

re: Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


Is my paranoia getting completely out of hand, or are you mongoloids really talking about me?





Back to top
White Roach
LSU Fan
Madisonville, LA
Member since Apr 2009
2253 posts
 Online 

re: Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


Veneration of Mark Twain is one of the roots of our current intellectual stalemate.





Back to top
Jim Rockford
LSU Fan
Member since May 2011
33504 posts

re: Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


quote:

“Leaving New Orleans also frightened me considerably. Outside of the city limits the heart of darkness, the true wasteland begins.”


I thought the author was exaggerating, until I started dating my GF, who believes civilization is nonexistent outside of New Orleans, and for that matter, that it's nonexistent outside of Uptown.






Back to top
White Roach
LSU Fan
Madisonville, LA
Member since Apr 2009
2253 posts
 Online 

re: Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


New Orleans is, on the other hand, a comfortable metropolis which has a certain apathy and stagnation which I find inoffensive.





Back to top
Fishwater
LSU Fan
Carcosa
Member since Aug 2010
4688 posts

re: Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


Love me some Confederacy of Dunces.





Back to top
White Roach
LSU Fan
Madisonville, LA
Member since Apr 2009
2253 posts
 Online 

re: Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


Is it the part of the police department to harass me when this city is a flagrant vice capital of the civilized world? This city is famous for it's gamblers, prostitutes, exhibitionists, Anti-Christs, alcoholics, sodomites, drug addicts, fetishists, onanists, pornographers, frauds, jades, litterbugs, and lesbians, all of whom are only too well protected by graft. If you have a moment, I shall endeavor to discuss the crime problem with you, but don't make the mistake of bothering me.





Back to top
Fast Eddie
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Jun 2005
320 posts

re: Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


"Mother! Is this offensive display of ill mannners one of the results of your association with those bowling Sicilians?"





Back to top
PowerTool
Texas A&M Fan
Glassman's couch
Member since Dec 2009
5265 posts

re: Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.





Back to top
Tigerwaffe
LSU Fan
Orlando
Member since Sep 2007
3468 posts

re: Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


Mr. I. Abelman, Mongoloid, Esq.:


We have received via post your absurd comments about our trousers, the comments revealing, as they did, your total lack of contact with reality. Were you more aware, you would know or realize by now that the offending trousers were dispatched to you with our full knowledge that they were inadequate so far as length was concerned.



“Why? Why?” you are in your incomprehensible babble, unable to assimilate stimulating concepts of commerce into your retarded and blighted worldview.



The trousers were sent to you (1) as a means of testing your initiative (A clever, wide-awake business concern should be able to make three-quarter length trousers a by-word of masculine fashion. Your advertising and merchandising programs are obviously faulty.) and (2) as a means of testing your ability to meet the standards requisite in a distributor of our quality product. (Our loyal and dependable outlets can vend any trouser bearing the Levy label no matter how abominable their design and construction. You are apparently a faithless people.)



We do not wish to be bothered in the future by such tedious complaints. Please confine your correspondence to orders only. We are a busy and dynamic organization whose mission needless effrontery and harassment can only hinder. If you molest us again, sir, you may feel the sting of the lash across your pitiful shoulders.




Yours in anger,
Gus Levy, Pres.






Back to top
Coeur du Tigre
LSU Fan
Waiting for Geauxdeaux.
Member since Nov 2008
300 posts

re: Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


quote:

quote:
“Leaving New Orleans also frightened me considerably. Outside of the city limits the heart of darkness, the true wasteland begins.”



I thought the author was exaggerating, until I started dating my GF, who believes civilization is nonexistent outside of New Orleans, and for that matter, that it's nonexistent outside of Uptown.
Your girlfriend is right. Listen to her and learn.






Back to top
RBWilliams8
LSU Fan
Member since Oct 2009
46391 posts

re: Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


I loved this book. And the audiobook reading was great too. I re"read" the audiobook when I was traveling a lot a year or two ago.

Not a quote, but my favorite was him having to get a shitty job and just thinking it was the most important thing in the world.



This post was edited on 5/30 at 3:53 am


Back to top
RBWilliams8
LSU Fan
Member since Oct 2009
46391 posts

re: Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


Ignatious represents what I think of most people on the OT





Back to top
TexasTiger05
LSU Fan
Member since Aug 2007
27849 posts

re: Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


Spud McConnell played Ignatious once when Confederacy was on the stage at LSU. He was awesome





Back to top
RBWilliams8
LSU Fan
Member since Oct 2009
46391 posts

re: Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


Wish I could have seen it. I'd love to see this incorporated into a show.





Back to top
Sigma
Michigan State Fan
Fairhope, AL
Member since Dec 2005
1782 posts

re: Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


"By the time we had left the swamps and reached those rolling hills near Baton Rouge, I was getting afraid that some rural rednecks might toss bombs at the bus. They love to attach vehicles, which are a symbol of progress, I guess."





Back to top
urinetrouble
LSU Fan
Member since Oct 2007
14978 posts
 Online 

re: Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


Anything regarding his pyloric valve.







Back to top
KBeezy
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2004
12156 posts
 Online 

re: Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


"I mingle with my peers or no one. And since I have no peers, I mingle with no one."





Back to top
McLemore
Member since Dec 2003
12009 posts

re: Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


quote:

I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.

This one gets me every time.






Back to top
TigerPanzer
LSU Fan
Orlando
Member since Sep 2006
6691 posts

re: Favorite Confederacy of Dunces quotes


"Optimism nauseates me. It is perverse. Since man's fall, his proper position in the universe has been one of misery."

Roger that.






Back to top


Back to top




//