re: Turtles Two Thousand & Thirteen (2013)

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Holy mother of frick

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X2. That is the biggest turtle I have ever seen that didn't come from an ocean. That's things head is bigger than that kid. You could invite your whole neighborhood to feast on that monster.

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I have a 8-9 acre pond at my parents house and have seen people pull decent sized turtles out of it. My question is, what is the best way to catch these things, seems like I have rarely seen them.

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Jug lines, nets, noodling.

If you choose to noodle, do it in the winter when they're dormant.

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Outside of the obvious, it also just doesn't seem like a turtle that big and that old would be good to eat.

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Probably not. I beet that fricker was hatched when T-Rexes and Brontosaurs were roaming the earth.

There's a little pond that's pretty much in the middle of the metropolis that is Destrehan, La.

When I was a kid - I'm talking 35 years ago now - a buddy of mine's dad worked at one of the offices by this pond. Some days, we'd go to his job with him, and fish in that pond all day.

I've seen some ponds that were dogs before, this was the mangiest of all the dogs. I'm talking crap everywhere in it, grocery baskets, tires. A true s#@thole.

There was an elderly black gentlemen (that we nicknamed "Mudbone") that used to fish this pond with us. He was only after turtleses and gawfishes. Had no pole, rod, or reel. He used trot line skring, with those big saltwater corks.

He caught a snapping turtle in there one day that I kid you not must have weighed 75 pounds. The image of this older Negro gentlemen pulling that big turtles head out of his shell, and cutting it smooth off after many whacks with a machete has never left my mind. Nor has the image of him walking off from the pond, holding the dead turtle over his shoulder by the tail.

Small things look bigger when you're 11 or 12, but I'm not kidding y'all, this thing's shell was every big as big as a full size tire.

What do you do with those sliders?

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teach kids how dangerous guns are. Shoot them and watch pieces fly everywhere.

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Close. Lately I don't waste .22 ammo on them bastards.

Actually I kept the biggest 20 for someone who asked for some. The others were killed one by one with a hatchet.

Oh except this one I ran across with the back of his shell missing. Looked like, at an earlier time in it's life, a gator narowly missed him. It was ugly but healed over. Figured if he'd made it through all that it would be ashame not to give the fellar another chance. I released him.