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blueslover 
New Orleans Saints Fan
soon to be south of zero
Member since Sep 2007
18292 posts
| Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 7:35 am)
Sean Payton: I’m back, men. I’m finally back. It seems like forever ago that I was coaching you guys, but I think I’ve used my time away from the game constructively. My long journey of discovery gave me perspective and a brand new lease on life. Also, I met Jozzylyyyn here. She really is quite a treat. It’s like a Super Bowl onside kick every night.
Jonathan Vilma: That’s great, coach, but we still got screwed over the NFL. They took a full season of ours and we’ll never get it back.
Sean Payton: That’s true. We got dicked over hardcore and we can never forget that. But being screwed by The Man doesn’t take away from the fact that you all didn’t DO YOUR JOB while I was gone. Don’t think I didn’t watch those games. You were awful.
Roman Harper: But we couldn’t affect the head! How were we supposed to play defense without kill shots? It’s not possible!
Sean Payton: It is possible.
Roman Harper: But how?
Sean Payton: You’re gonna see. Just before I made it back to New Orleans, I met this guy on the road. Gave me a lift on the road. We got to talking and I think he’s got some good ideas about how to fix our defense.
[Loading dock door flies open]
Rob Ryan: OW-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Lemme tell ya, I fricking love New Orleans. The whole town smells like beef bouillon and pussy. Fair rates on child creole prostitutes. Pretty good music, too. You boys like Captain Beefheart? Well, you will soon.
Jonathan Vilma: Wait a minute: this is the guy you got? He’s one of the Ryan brothers. Man, they practically invented bounties.
Rob: Invented? No way, compadre. Believe me, I tried getting the trademark. Then I found out it takes more work than kicking the shite out of whoever has the trademark to get it. Whole patent system is broke, if you ask me.
Roman Harper: This is ridiculous. Goodell is gonna be all over us.
Rob: Let that narrow-assed rich boy grill us all he wants. It is true that my daddy was all about the bounties. One time, he paid me and Rex $35 apiece to kneecap a radio guy who questioned his schemes. We would have done it for free, but dad loved his boys. Wanted to make sure we had cash on hand for whores. But he was also smart about it. No way Buddy would have been caught asking players to injure quarterbacks on tape. That documentarian wouldn’t have been allowed to leave the building in one piece.
Vilma: So, what, we’re just supposed to be super secretive about it?
Rob: Oh no, it’s a different era than it was back then. Headhunting alone won’t get it done. You have to wage biological warfare. That’s why I already got on the horn and got a shipment of scorpion dick extract mailed here from Ray Lewis’ guy. That stuff works wonders. fricks up a QB’s nervous system like nothing else. Thanks to Sean’s lady, we’re gonna get that in Matt Ryan’s system before the end of the week.
Curtis Lofton: I mean, I don’t know about this.
Rob: Uh oh, we gotta dissenter in the ranks. This sounds a job for the woodchipper.
Sean Payton: Woohoo! The Saints are back!
LINK
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Patrick O Rly
New Orleans Saints Fan
y u do dis?
Member since Aug 2011
25694 posts
 Online
| re: Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 7:47 am to blueslover)
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Hoodoo Man 
LSU Fan
Sunshine Pumping most days.
Member since Oct 2011
8936 posts
| re: Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 7:50 am to Patrick O Rly)
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Fearthehat0307
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Dec 2007
31780 posts
Online
| re: Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 7:50 am to blueslover)
meh, i'm a little disappointed I took the time to read that
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Patrick O Rly
New Orleans Saints Fan
y u do dis?
Member since Aug 2011
25694 posts
Online
| re: Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 7:54 am to Fearthehat0307)
I read a portion of it. It reads like a puppet show.
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CptRusty
New Orleans Saints Fan
Dome Patrol #57
Member since Aug 2011
2516 posts
| re: Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 8:00 am to blueslover)
I lol'd , 7/10. This guy is good, but he aint no Grand Master Wang
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Jayson78
New Orleans Saints Fan
Oak Grove
Member since Sep 2011
901 posts
| re: Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 8:02 am to blueslover)
quote:
I fricking love New Orleans. The whole town smells like beef bouillon and pussy.
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yurintroubl
New Orleans Saints Fan
Dallas, Tx.
Member since Apr 2008
22231 posts
Online
| re: Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 8:43 am to blueslover)
I get a pretty good chuckle out of most of the stuff on KSK. This was amusing.
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Tygerfan
New Orleans Saints Fan
Member since Jan 2004
32129 posts
| re: Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 9:21 am to blueslover)
Anyone know who that chick is with Payton??
** sits patiently with google open **
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Hoodoo Man
LSU Fan
Sunshine Pumping most days.
Member since Oct 2011
8936 posts
| re: Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 9:23 am to Tygerfan)
quote:
Jozzylyyyn
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swagsurfin7 
Duke Fan
Founder of the Alex Morgan Fan Club
Member since Dec 2009
3432 posts
| re: Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 9:33 am to blueslover)
A good laugh to start the morning. I got a mental picture of Rob Ryan busting out the door with a beer in hand yelling "ow-ooo!!!!"
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NS Who Dat Nation
New Orleans Saints Fan
Mandeville
Member since Jul 2007
7230 posts
| re: Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 9:34 am to blueslover)
CSP is winning at the game of life. 
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yurintroubl
New Orleans Saints Fan
Dallas, Tx.
Member since Apr 2008
22231 posts
Online
| re: Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 9:44 am to swagsurfin7)
quote:
A good laugh to start the morning. I got a mental picture of Rob Ryan busting out the door with a beer in hand yelling "ow-ooo!!!!"
Like the fricking KoolAid man.
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Tygerfan
New Orleans Saints Fan
Member since Jan 2004
32129 posts
| re: Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 10:05 am to Hoodoo Man)
quote:
Jozzylyyyn
I got that, but when I search Jozzylyyyn, nothing comes up. 
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Patrick O Rly
New Orleans Saints Fan
y u do dis?
Member since Aug 2011
25694 posts
Online
| re: Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 10:11 am to Tygerfan)
Maybe it's not her real name! 
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blueslover
New Orleans Saints Fan
soon to be south of zero
Member since Sep 2007
18292 posts
| re: Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 10:11 am to yurintroubl)
quote:
Like the fricking KoolAid man
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Suntiger 
USA Fan
BR or somewhere else
Member since Feb 2007
18397 posts
| re: Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 10:15 am to Tygerfan)
quote:
quote:
Jozzylyyyn
I got that, but when I search Jozzylyyyn, nothing comes up.
Sounds like you need to buy some little blue pills.
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Tygerfan
New Orleans Saints Fan
Member since Jan 2004
32129 posts
| re: Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 10:18 am to Patrick O Rly)
quote:
Maybe it's not her real name!
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CajunBandit
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Nov 2010
1364 posts
| re: Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 10:50 am to blueslover)
Profesional sports fanfic...
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Jayson78
New Orleans Saints Fan
Oak Grove
Member since Sep 2011
901 posts
| re: Scorpion Dick Extract! (Posted on 2/12/13 at 10:55 am to Patrick O Rly)
quote:
Maybe it's not her real name!
Tuesday
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