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Skeeter 79 
LSU Fan
Prairieville, LA
Member since Nov 2007
2050 posts
| Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:38 am)
please settle an argument...
You're in the receiving line at a wake or funeral - and you briefly speak to a family member of the deceased that you know pretty well and they're crying...
You say the standard: "I'm really sorry for your loss"
Question: is it ok to follow that up with "stay strong" or something similar to encourage that person hold it together?
Or should you just express sympathy and move on?
Whats says the OT?
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slim thug
Member since Apr 2010
8004 posts
| re: Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:39 am to Skeeter 79)
i think you're way overthinking it
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BRgetthenet 
New Orleans Saints Fan
Member since Oct 2011
23699 posts
| re: Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:41 am to Skeeter 79)
Dump some of your 40 on the groud and give them a blunt.
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Big Lake
LSU Fan
Member since Jul 2011
3295 posts
| re: Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:42 am to Skeeter 79)
Just move on being in those receiving lines is the worst. No one wants to be reminded over and over again that their loved one died
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Mr Fusion 
USA Fan
Member since Dec 2010
5088 posts
| re: Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:42 am to Skeeter 79)
Don't fart audibly
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Paige
LSU Fan
Vice President of the OT
Member since Oct 2010
27949 posts
| re: Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:43 am to Skeeter 79)
Express sympathy and move on. Why do they need to stay strong?
I'm sorry for your loss is the only appropriate thing to say
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BRgetthenet
New Orleans Saints Fan
Member since Oct 2011
23699 posts
| re: Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:43 am to Paige)
He could just say hey.
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tiger rag 93
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2007
225 posts
| re: Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:43 am to slim thug)
quote:
i think you're way overthinking it
This. Just give your condolences and move on. Add an uplifting phrase if it seems appropriate.
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JAMAC2001
LSU Fan
Upstate, NY
Member since Jan 2013
1171 posts
| re: Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:44 am to Skeeter 79)
Don't say a word. Do a moderate eye squint, remain tight lipped and do a slow "no" nod. Your body language will say "damn shame, way too soon"
eta: I don't advise looking in the casket either.
This post was edited on 2/2 at 10:47 am
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Paige
LSU Fan
Vice President of the OT
Member since Oct 2010
27949 posts
| re: Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:45 am to BRgetthenet)
 yeah Hey is also appropriate
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TheBob 
Oregon Fan
Metairie
Member since Jun 2005
11271 posts
| re: Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:49 am to Skeeter 79)
Did you hear the one about the Jew, the Catholic, and the Colored Boy?
Remind him/her that it's a doozie and move on.
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tankyank13 
Florida State Fan
Nola
Member since Nov 2012
602 posts
| re: Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:52 am to Skeeter 79)
Tell them they are causing a scene, suck it up ya wuss
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Tiger Ryno
USA Fan
The Brain Trust
Member since Feb 2007
36351 posts
 Online
| re: Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:52 am to Skeeter 79)
the bible says to mourn with those who mourn...
there is no need to offer encouragement...let them know you are hurting too because they are hurting...mourn with them.
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Skeeter 79
LSU Fan
Prairieville, LA
Member since Nov 2007
2050 posts
| re: Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:53 am to Paige)
quote:
Express sympathy and move on. Why do they need to stay strong?
yeah, thats the argument.
Person A says that encouraging words are a good thing at a wake. Person B says express sympathy and move on.
just getting opinions on the topic...
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OMLandshark 
Ole Miss Fan
Member since Apr 2009
27005 posts
Online
| re: Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:54 am to Skeeter 79)
quote:
You say the standard: "I'm really sorry for your loss" Question: is it ok to follow that up with "stay strong" or something similar to encourage that person hold it together? Or should you just express sympathy and move on?
I'd say you're over thinking it. Both of those are fine. Just don't say "it was all part of God's plan" or "God was ready for him to come home", especially if they are middle aged or young, since that would send just about anyone who knows the way the world works into a rage.
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BRgetthenet
New Orleans Saints Fan
Member since Oct 2011
23699 posts
| re: Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:55 am to TheBob)
quote:
Did you hear the one about the Jew, the Catholic, and the Colored Boy?
Colored boy? What the fu.................
I'll show you colored boy.
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Tiger Ryno
USA Fan
The Brain Trust
Member since Feb 2007
36351 posts
Online
| re: Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:57 am to OMLandshark)
I agree...I believe in God and my faith is what held me together last year when we lost our baby son, but I did not appreciate people telling me "well God just needed him more than you do right now"...just idiotic...some people just can't help themselves
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brewhan davey
USA Fan
Audubon Place
Member since Sep 2010
19125 posts
| re: Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:57 am to Skeeter 79)
Grief is the most powerful aphrodisiac
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Paige
LSU Fan
Vice President of the OT
Member since Oct 2010
27949 posts
| re: Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:57 am to Skeeter 79)
I have an aunt and a friend who lost young children
They both said that anything besides expressing sympathy sucked
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magildachunks
Member since Oct 2006
7852 posts
| re: Funeral / Wake etiquette (Posted on 2/2/13 at 10:58 am to Skeeter 79)
I was 16 when my mother died.
I hated when people would come up and tell me "Sorry for your loss." I never knew how to react to it. "Thanks"? That seems wrong or something.
And during the wake, I barely even heard what people were saying to me. I eventually just went outside and smoked cigarettes and hung out with my friends.
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