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Started By
Message
re: mortgage help for daughter
Posted on 10/11/12 at 8:32 am to AngryBeavers
Posted on 10/11/12 at 8:32 am to AngryBeavers
quote:
IMO walking away is wrong.
This comment deserves another thread.
1
Posted on 10/11/12 at 8:35 am to AngryBeavers
quote:
f she can pay the note she signed on for then IMO walking away is wrong. I would try renting first before walking away from an obligation.
Believe me, that doesn't sit well with any of us.
We will look into the streamline refinance to drop her interest rate, then get renters in there.
There is also no price I can put on my daughter's safety. Our main concern is getting her to a safer neighborhood.
The alarm going off in the middle of the night because someone was trying to open her front door while she was home was our wake up call.
Posted on 10/11/12 at 8:40 am to WikiTiger
I completely understand the reasons to walk away and would be tempted to do so myself were it me in this situation but if I could afford my note I would have a hard time sleeping at night knowing I walked away from an obligation.
Posted on 10/11/12 at 11:04 am to Golfer
quote:
FHA Streamline if the original loan was an FHA
I'm in a very similar situation as your daughter. I bought a condo in 2009. My mortgage is currently underwater. I owe $140k and is worth around $120k. I have tried to do a FHA streamline refi using my current lender to relieve some of the blow, but the lender blows me off everytime. I've talked to several different mortgage professional and they all find an excuse to get off of the phone. Any where from our computers are down, I'm on the phone, and so on. Then, they never call me back. I think its because they really have no incentive to do it. I am current on my mortgage and never have been late. They make more money not refinancing me. I want to take advantage of the current interest rates just like everyone else. My current rate is 6.25%. I would save $250/month if I could refi.
I am currently renting out the condo waiting for the market to pick back up.
Posted on 10/11/12 at 11:59 am to dlambe5
If I might, I'm going to take a rather harsh view of both the OP's thoughts & posts as well as several folks talking about "walk away".
For starters, where was your "can't put a price on my daughter's safety" when she was buying this POS? Why are you stepping in to assist her now? Where was your assistance during the purchasing process?
It would've been easy to do some background checking by talking to neighbors and looking at previous developments as well as verifying info about the HOA prior to closing or even signing a contract. To me, there are huge cracks in this story not so much because they don't make sense (because they really don't) but because you have left out a ton of information.
It sounds as if your daughter is very naive financially speaking and should've never bought this home in the first place for starters. Secondly, there are many people who are upside down on homes they bought during that time period. This situation is not unique to your daughter even if your daughter is unique to you and you alone as her parent.
But at no point do you-EVER-have the right to walk away from an obligation like this just because "I don't feel safe."
The lender is under no obligation to ensure that your daughter feels safe. What if her home is burglarized in a gated neighborhood 10 years from now? Does that absolve her of paying her house note or homeowner's insurance because she "doesn't feel safe"?
Bottom line, I think walking away from the home will screw her credit for several years, and I also think it sounds like Mommy & Daddy are still wiping her @ss for her. Which again makes me wonder where were Mommy & Daddy when she was tearing into this sh!t sandwich that's on her plate and telling you all it tasted like Baked Alaska?
She signed legal paperwork. She made a commitment. Just becuase you either weren't looking out for her on the front end, didn't help her or got turned away when you should've been helping in the middle of it or just plain old did a lousy job of educating her about the realities of being an adult on her own...bailing her out on the back-end is going to teach her NOTHING except to run to Momsy & Popsy when the chips are down.
I've made my own mistakes and I've paid for them myself. Why is your daughter so special she can decide when & where to decide to honor her own commitments?
My personal opinion: Stop wiping her arse, hand her some TP, and hope that she teachers herself how to with this mess.
Otherwise, better find her an OT Baller to take her through her life, because you're gonna be creating a sense and need for lifetime dependency on others if you don't teach her how to fall and get back up again on her own.
Signed,
The Real World Calling
For starters, where was your "can't put a price on my daughter's safety" when she was buying this POS? Why are you stepping in to assist her now? Where was your assistance during the purchasing process?
It would've been easy to do some background checking by talking to neighbors and looking at previous developments as well as verifying info about the HOA prior to closing or even signing a contract. To me, there are huge cracks in this story not so much because they don't make sense (because they really don't) but because you have left out a ton of information.
It sounds as if your daughter is very naive financially speaking and should've never bought this home in the first place for starters. Secondly, there are many people who are upside down on homes they bought during that time period. This situation is not unique to your daughter even if your daughter is unique to you and you alone as her parent.
But at no point do you-EVER-have the right to walk away from an obligation like this just because "I don't feel safe."
The lender is under no obligation to ensure that your daughter feels safe. What if her home is burglarized in a gated neighborhood 10 years from now? Does that absolve her of paying her house note or homeowner's insurance because she "doesn't feel safe"?
Bottom line, I think walking away from the home will screw her credit for several years, and I also think it sounds like Mommy & Daddy are still wiping her @ss for her. Which again makes me wonder where were Mommy & Daddy when she was tearing into this sh!t sandwich that's on her plate and telling you all it tasted like Baked Alaska?
She signed legal paperwork. She made a commitment. Just becuase you either weren't looking out for her on the front end, didn't help her or got turned away when you should've been helping in the middle of it or just plain old did a lousy job of educating her about the realities of being an adult on her own...bailing her out on the back-end is going to teach her NOTHING except to run to Momsy & Popsy when the chips are down.
I've made my own mistakes and I've paid for them myself. Why is your daughter so special she can decide when & where to decide to honor her own commitments?
My personal opinion: Stop wiping her arse, hand her some TP, and hope that she teachers herself how to with this mess.
Otherwise, better find her an OT Baller to take her through her life, because you're gonna be creating a sense and need for lifetime dependency on others if you don't teach her how to fall and get back up again on her own.
Signed,
The Real World Calling
Posted on 10/11/12 at 1:14 pm to GFunk
quote:
The Real World Calling
I've been waiting for someone to ask more questions. There is so much wrong with this development and I don't have enough time to type all of it.
She looked at several condos before choosing this one. It wasn't a POS when she purchased it.
It was an older condo that had been refurbished and she could afford it. We have bought and sold several houses in 30 years and knew what to look for. Without being able to see the developer's bank account, there is no way we could have known what was about to happen.
The underwriter and my husband questioned the owner/developer on many issues. He had good answers but we now know he was lying.
When she purchased the condo over 3 1/2 years ago, it was in much better condition (exterior). The developer had started the ground work and utility work on the new units. However, shortly after she moved in he went bankrupt and the new units never were built.
The 3 existing 20 year old buildings he refurbished have been deteriorating on the outside. There are more rented units than owner occupied units now. I think this has something to do with more break ins in the last 2 years. There are more "less desirable" people living there now.
We are not telling her to walk away from her obligation just because she doesn't feel safe. Did you not read that no one has been able to sell their units?
I can assure you that we have raised 3 very fiscally responsible kids. Our other daughter owns a condo and has not had any problems. Our son is 25, makes 6 figures and lives in Colorado in a $380k home. Do you think he got that because we are "arse wiper" parents?
We also own a condo near LSU that we rent and we have not had any problems there.
This child happens to make the lowest salary of the 3 kids and we are trying to help her make the best decisions for her safety and financial well being. We will not pay her bills for her. We offer the other kids financial advice when they ask for it too. We have never paid any of their bills either.
I never said my daughter was the only person upside down on their mortgage.
You seem to be talking out of both sides of your mouth. First you tell me we're doing too much for her now and then you tell me we didn't do enough when she was buying. Make up your mind.
Oh and you don't have a clue!!!!
Posted on 10/11/12 at 1:43 pm to ProudLSUMom
quote:
We are thinking of renting the condo and buying a home in a better neighborhood and renting it to her.
Don't do this. From a monetary standpoint it's not good for you. From a stand point of her being on her own and Mom and Pops bailing her out it's not good for her.
Given these facts:
quote:
Condo assoc. has no money
Building needs exterior repairs
Break-ins have occurred (she has been spared so far)
and these:
quote:
We are hesitant to rent it because there have been sewer backups (another issue due to modad being removed because developer didn't pay for it). It seems like a headache waiting to happen.
From a financial standpoint, I'd say walk away . Her credit will take a hit, but in this case that seems like a hit would be worth it. She can forget being able to buy a home on her credit though. Now on the other hand, she signed on the dotted line to pay the note. She should also consider short selling and paying off the remainder.
Looks like it's rent time until she gets married. Don't under any circumstances co sign to help her buy again.
This post was edited on 10/11/12 at 1:53 pm
Posted on 10/11/12 at 1:48 pm to GFunk
quote:
It sounds as if your daughter is very naive financially speaking and should've never bought this home in the first place for starters.
Agree.
quote:
The lender is under no obligation to ensure that your daughter feels safe.
Agree with this as well. It does sound like the lender screwed the pooch on inspection though.
Posted on 10/11/12 at 1:53 pm to ProudLSUMom
I have a clue...and I'm happy you care about your child. I even warned that it would be a harsh response.
But you left out details. Glad you provided them.
A neighborhood that's had shared wall/condo type properties in it that's been around for 20 years is more than likely in a very "sub optimal" location and has been for awhile.
Having said that, when I read 20 year old condos that have been refurbished, and then saw where you said you knew what to look for, it's hard for me to take you seriously.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but reading the former detail makes me not believe the latter boast.
But you left out details. Glad you provided them.
A neighborhood that's had shared wall/condo type properties in it that's been around for 20 years is more than likely in a very "sub optimal" location and has been for awhile.
Having said that, when I read 20 year old condos that have been refurbished, and then saw where you said you knew what to look for, it's hard for me to take you seriously.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but reading the former detail makes me not believe the latter boast.
Posted on 10/11/12 at 1:57 pm to ProudLSUMom
quote:
We will not pay her bills for her.
That clears up a lot. It's a tough situation, that's for sure. A short sell and her picking up the difference might be the best way out.
Posted on 10/11/12 at 2:05 pm to GFunk
quote:
I have a clue...and I'm happy you care about your child. I even warned that it would be a harsh response.
But you left out details. Glad you provided them.
A neighborhood that's had shared wall/condo type properties in it that's been around for 20 years is more than likely in a very "sub optimal" location and has been for awhile.
Having said that, when I read 20 year old condos that have been refurbished, and then saw where you said you knew what to look for, it's hard for me to take you seriously.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but reading the former detail makes me not believe the latter boast.
You can think all you want that you have a clue about my life but you don't.
Our condo near LSU was a 25 year old rehabbed condo and we haven't had the first problem with it. You don't have a clue where my daughter's condo is located. It isn't in a "sub optimal" location. Not even close. However, the neighbors seem to be "sub optimal" which wasn't the case when she moved in.
I'm sure you live in a perfect world, where every thing you have ever done has been successful and had the outcome you intended. Carry on.
This thread isn't for you.
Posted on 10/11/12 at 2:15 pm to LSU0358
quote:
It sounds as if your daughter is very naive financially speaking and should've never bought this home in the first place for starters.
Please help my understand why you think that.
She saved for a down payment.
She figured her monthly budget.
She saved an emergency fund.
She qualified for a higher mortgage amount but didn't use it because it was over what she felt comfortable paying.
She had the condo inspected.
The condo appraised for the selling price.
The underwriters approved the mortgage.
She has made every mortgage payment on time.
Where has she been naive?
Posted on 10/11/12 at 2:26 pm to ProudLSUMom
i have have been watching the crazy come out on this thread and as a mortgage professional she has 2 options. walk away or deal with it. if she walks away from the mortgage it will be 5 years before she can buy another home. if she deals with it she might get lucky and the HOA can turn the complex around even though i highly doubt it. I have to tell the same thing to people that call me to refinance thier condo's all the time. i would look at walking away as a money decision. nothing more nothing less.
good luck
good luck
Posted on 10/11/12 at 2:28 pm to ItNeverRains
quote:
Bought 330k, sold 283k. And 283k is $3 higher per sq. ft. over any comp on market. So your daughter is in a crowded boat
i see this on a monthly basis.
IMO all the meddling with free market has done is finance the downward slide. (Which i say still has not hit bottom)
Its hard for me to believe that had we (gubberment) not mettled in free market housing that the turn around would not have already occurred.
Posted on 10/11/12 at 2:29 pm to ProudLSUMom
quote:
Where has she been naive?
Need more details about her transaction but it sound like the condo association was weak financially. That would be a bad indicator.
Posted on 10/11/12 at 3:32 pm to MoreOrLes
" I would look at walking away as a money decision. nothing more nothing less."
I just have a hard time getting my head around this mentality. Took a chance, as we all have when buying a home, and is coming out on the negative side. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. Signed legally binding contracts and the bank loaned her the money in good faith. Now it's time for her to uphold her end of the bargin. It's one thing if a life event happened and she could no longer afford it. Just don't understand why someone should "forgive" a portion of a loan just because it's not with the same amount or has lost value.
But that's just me.
I just have a hard time getting my head around this mentality. Took a chance, as we all have when buying a home, and is coming out on the negative side. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. Signed legally binding contracts and the bank loaned her the money in good faith. Now it's time for her to uphold her end of the bargin. It's one thing if a life event happened and she could no longer afford it. Just don't understand why someone should "forgive" a portion of a loan just because it's not with the same amount or has lost value.
But that's just me.
Posted on 10/11/12 at 3:44 pm to ProudLSUMom
It might be worth it for you all to consult a good attorney; perhaps a tax attorney. Sounds like you have great kids and that ya'll are very loving parents who are just trying to help them. An attorney would be able to help ya'll think through all the ramifications of your options.
Posted on 10/11/12 at 3:49 pm to LSUnGA
she took a chance alright on the HOA protecting her and the condo developer finishing the project and both failed her. the story's that i hear when i comes to condos and developments would blow you away.
Posted on 10/11/12 at 4:17 pm to Catman88
quote:
So why dont the owners of these condos split the pay to have one installed? It would benefit all and raise the values.
Without one Im not sure how their sewage is working at all. Is this outside a city limits?
Do they make different size modads? It seems like the modad company removed the one the developer didn't pay for and installed a smaller one. The smaller one isn't adequate for the 12 units.
My daughter said they looked into purchasing a modad but it was too expensive.
Posted on 10/12/12 at 5:27 pm to Catman88
quote:quote:So why dont the owners of these condos split the pay to have one installed? It would benefit all and raise the values.
(another issue due to modad being removed because developer didn't pay for it)
Without one Im not sure how their sewage is working at all. Is this outside a city limits?
THIS!
ETA:
quote:
Do they make different size modads? It seems like the modad company removed the one the developer didn't pay for and installed a smaller one. The smaller one isn't adequate for the 12 units.
My daughter said they looked into purchasing a modad but it was too expensive.
They do make different sizes/capacities. If there is no means of waste treatment, then that is a non-habitable situation. Please ensure that their drainage system is going into . . . . . .SOMETHING that is treating it.
This post was edited on 10/12/12 at 5:30 pm
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