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Message
Al Swearengen Quotes Compendium
Posted on 6/21/11 at 6:36 pm
Posted on 6/21/11 at 6:36 pm
This character deserves a thread dedicated to his eloquently-expressed, peerless wisdom.
Let's begin:
Now that that one's out of the way,
Let's begin:
quote:
Cocksucker.
Now that that one's out of the way,
quote:
He don’t know if it’s breathing or taking it in through fricking gills. He is that fricking count-struck. They’re afloat in some fairy fricking bubble, lighter than air — him, her snatch and his stupid fricking badge.
quote:
Ad fricking Hoc, Free fricking Gratis... can we just get on with the fricking meeting?
quote:
As damp as your hands are, why do you continuously lick your fricking thumb?
quote:
Speak truthfully to me or when Gabriel blows his trumpet you will emerge complete from the arse end of a pig.
10
Posted on 6/21/11 at 6:46 pm to Muppet
I expect at least one contribution following the courtesy post.
Posted on 6/21/11 at 6:50 pm to Muppet
quote:
I will profane your fricking remains, E.B.
Posted on 6/21/11 at 6:50 pm to Muppet
Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair, or fricking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back.
Posted on 6/21/11 at 6:52 pm to Muppet
quote:
Muppet
You would not want to be starin' that way at me.
Posted on 6/21/11 at 6:52 pm to smash williams
Good job, guys. Also, people can use this thread to... discuss the show. Or Pokemon cards. Or psoriasis, or whatever.
Posted on 6/21/11 at 6:56 pm to Muppet
quote:
Get a fricking haircut. Looks like your mother fricked a monkey.
quote:
In life you have to do a lot of things you don’t fricking want to do. Many times, that’s what the frick life is… one vile fricking task after another.
quote:
Here’s my counter-offer to your counter-offer: go frick yourself.
Posted on 6/21/11 at 7:01 pm to The Seaward
You have to love Al. Only he can use the phrase "loopy count" as a term of endearment.
Posted on 6/21/11 at 7:11 pm to Muppet
My favorite Al quote:
But my favorite Deadwood quote in general comes from Trixie:
quote:
God rest the souls of that poor family... and pussy's half price for the next 15 minutes.
But my favorite Deadwood quote in general comes from Trixie:
quote:
Tread lightly who lives in hope of pussy.
Posted on 6/21/11 at 9:32 pm to Muppet
This thread makes me happy inside. I'll add some quotes later.
Posted on 6/21/11 at 9:48 pm to Muppet
Good ol' Al. He took blowjob soliloquies and cocksucker charades to a whole 'nother level.
Posted on 6/21/11 at 10:24 pm to tims0912367
Why, if I was moving forward to get away from you, would you have fricking pursued me? When I stopped, pressed on yourself to drive your thumb into my intestine? 
Posted on 6/21/11 at 10:55 pm to smash williams
a few more
quote:
You might, Dan, want to learn how to indicate interest in a girl, other than murderin’ another person.
quote:
I trust you know two percent of nothin’s frickin’ nothin’
quote:
Find out how much Tolliver paid Wu. Don't wanna be suckin' hind tit on disposal fees.
Posted on 6/22/11 at 1:32 am to The Seaward
i had found a site with transcripts to every episode and would watch and read a long. You could watch it 3 times and still miss things.
when the handicap lady is going up the stairs:
"Every steps a fu*kin adventure"
when the handicap lady is going up the stairs:
"Every steps a fu*kin adventure"
Posted on 6/22/11 at 9:00 am to Muppet
Watching it last night my husband looks over to me and says " loopy count just expresses the sentiment better than dizzy bitch".
Posted on 6/22/11 at 9:06 am to The Seaward
This one is my favorite
My runner up comes not from Al, but from a side character named Tom Nuttal:
I use the end of that line whenever the situation presents itself.
quote:
In life you have to do a lot of things you don’t fricking want to do. Many times, that’s what the frick life is… one vile fricking task after another.
My runner up comes not from Al, but from a side character named Tom Nuttal:
quote:
My bicycle masters boardwalk and quagmire with aplomb. Those that doubt me... suck cock by choice.
I use the end of that line whenever the situation presents itself.
Posted on 6/22/11 at 9:27 am to Archie Bengal Bunker
quote:
Those that doubt me... suck cock by choice.
I used that master-quote at trivia one night...the room seemed to think I went over the line...
...so I had Dan Dority slit their throats...
Posted on 6/22/11 at 11:32 am to Fletch F Fletch
I also got a kick out of Farnums long winded flowery speeches.
Posted on 6/22/11 at 11:58 am to Muppet
Al:
quote:
Underarms clean? counts braided?
quote:
Wave a penny under the Jew's nose. They have living breath in them, brings 'em right round.
quote:
Rouse him to spend on pussy, or rob the son of a bitch.
This post was edited on 6/22/11 at 12:09 pm
Posted on 6/22/11 at 12:03 pm to Muppet
I can't remember it too well it's been a while since I've seen it.
But in season one someone gives him some kind of random hand signal, and he repeats the hand signal and gives this disgusted face and says "what the frick is this" while doing it. I laughed out loud.
But in season one someone gives him some kind of random hand signal, and he repeats the hand signal and gives this disgusted face and says "what the frick is this" while doing it. I laughed out loud.
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