Wassup Aggie!

Hey Aggie! It's your old pal Tiger here. I know we haven't talked in a long while, but I understand you've been having some relationship problems. I thought I might have a suggestion for you. I know when you met Bevo she was the best looking girl in town, and frankly she's still as pretty as they come. I don't blame you for settling down with her. At the time it was the right thing to do. Baylor and Tech are good kids and you should be proud of them. Quite frankly you've done all right for yourself. But unfortunately, it's just never worth it to have a long term relationship with a real pretty girl. They tend to have some issues. Early on when it was all new and exciting, you really weren't bothered by Bevo being a bit of a Diva, but now it's just gotten out of hand. She always wants everything her way, and even when you let her have everything she could possibly want, she still tells you that you aren't enough of a man for her. I know that's just worn you down. Personally I thought you should have left when she started hooking up with that Boomer fella, but I know you stayed in the interest of the kids. Frankly I don't see how you can take it when she starts telling you that you'll never be the man that he is. But now that crazy bitch is just losing her mind. She really thinks she's going to move to out west and become a star? You know that's never going to work. All that money they are promising her is just a pipe dream. I know she's trying to convince you to come along with the kids, but you know she's talking about bringing boomer along too, not to mention that retarded brother of his.

So here's my suggestion. You need to just leave that bitch. You can come out east and hang with me. I can get you a better paying job than you'll ever see out west, and we'll hang out like we did in the good old days, getting drunk and beating the tar out of each other. And you remember your old girlfriend, Arky? She's out here, and she's just dying to hook up with you again. I know she's a bit of a pig, but she's fun to play with (especially if you drink a bunch before hand). To be truthful, I've been seeing her a bit. We tried to make it work, but there's nothing really between us. Quite frankly I'm getting a little tired of her because lately when we play she's been sticking a finger where it doesn't belong, ...but you've always been more partial to that than I have.

Now I know the first thing that'll happen when you say you're leaving. That bitch, Bevo, is going to tell you that you two should get back together. She's gonna tell you to do it for the kids (primarily because she doesn't want to take responsibility for them herself). She's going to tell you that if you leave she's never going to let you see her or the kids again. You just ignore all that. The one thing you can be sure of is that most of the stuff coming out of Bevo is bullshite. Don't listen to it. The minute you come back she's going to be the same crazy bitch all over again. ...And you know she's not going to stop seeing Boomer.

So come on over, Aggie! It'll be like old times! Just don't expect me to go easy on you because you've gotten a little soft in the middle. The first night out I'm planning to get you drunker than you've ever been, and then beat the living shite out of you!

Tiger

P.S. If I hear that any of that shite about owing you money, I'm just gonna stomp you harder.