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Would you accept a kidney donation from someone you knew, but not family or close friend?

Posted on 3/24/17 at 4:20 pm
Posted by Green Grass Miracle
Colorado
Member since Jan 2015
119 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 4:20 pm
First, here is some background:

I have a relative (in his 60's) who needs a kidney. He's on dialysis and is doing ok. His wife, who doesn't match his blood type, has signed up to do a kidney swap. For those not familiar with a kidney swap, this is where one person exchanges kidneys with another donor/recipient pair. Two live donor transplants would occur. This will help him get a kidney sooner than waiting for an anonymous donor.

So here is where the story gets odd. An old friend of my relative (he hasn't talked to him in about 40 years) runs into him at a high school reunion. They get to chatting and the kidney issue comes up. The friend says that he's the same blood type and that he'd be happy to donate his kidney. My relative didn't think this guy was serious, but the guy called him up later that week to discuss it, and he's since gone and been tested, and is close to being cleared to donate.

This almost seems too good to be true. Here is my concern. What happens later on if the donor is out on his luck and needs help (financially or other). There seems to be a risk that he could take advantage of my relative, and he may feel compelled to help him. The donor seems like a good guy, and should be well off, since he's a pharmacist.

What would you do in this situation? Take a kidney ASAP from the old friend and hope you don't get taken advantage of, or wait for the kidney swap process to find a match, which could take a year or maybe longer?

TLDR
A relative of mine needs a kidney
Old friend that he hasn't seen in 40 years wants to donate
I'm worried that said friend may take advantage of relative.
Would you take the friend's kidney or wait for an anonymous donor (through a kidney swap with wife).
This post was edited on 3/24/17 at 4:22 pm
Posted by ccard257
Fort Worth, TX
Member since Oct 2012
1307 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 4:22 pm to
If I needed a kidney I wouldn't give a shite where it came from. Being a close friend or relative doesn't make someone less likely to be a shithead later either.
Posted by Red Stick Tigress
Tiger Stadium
Member since Nov 2005
17829 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 4:23 pm to
I would do the kidney transplant ASAP.

Who wants to be on dialysis?

Not everyone who offers help has bad intentions.

Your relative should say thank you and move on.
Posted by cascadia
Georgia
Member since Jan 2014
2088 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 4:25 pm to
Well, I figure if you need a kidney and have a donor, it's not really the time to try and pick the perfect candidate with a great back story to it, just say thanks invite him over for March madness and be thankful.
This post was edited on 3/24/17 at 4:27 pm
Posted by fladohado
Louisiana
Member since Jan 2010
2842 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 4:26 pm to
Take the damn kidney and be happy there is still good people in this world that would do something like that to help another.
Posted by Cosmo
glassman's guest house
Member since Oct 2003
120090 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 4:26 pm to
Id rip a kidney from your fricking body if i needed it
Posted by BIGFOOD
Member since Jun 2011
12476 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 4:28 pm to
if I needed a kidney, I'd take the first one that was available...wouldn't matter who donated it.
Posted by Rebelgator
Pripyat Bridge
Member since Mar 2010
39543 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 4:28 pm to
Do it.


If you're that worried, get something drawn up by an attorney.
Posted by crimsonsaint
Member since Nov 2009
37240 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 4:30 pm to
Like others have said, if I need a kidney, I'm getting it from any means possible.

As far as possibly helping the guy out later on, I'd certainly help if I could. You aren't legally required to do anything though.
Posted by CrimsonTideMD
Member since Dec 2010
6925 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 4:33 pm to
quote:

Take a kidney ASAP from the old friend and hope you don't get taken advantage of


Yeah, better hope you don't feel any debt of gratitude or otherwise for getting a free fricking organ from some generous person undergoing unnecessary fricking surgery.
Posted by Tiger Prawn
Member since Dec 2016
21835 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 5:02 pm to
Is your relative very wealthy? If he's not, then there's no reason to be concerned that some old friend would donate his organ without even being asked so that he could take advantage of your relative financially later on.

quote:

What would you do in this situation?

Take the kidney, then take my new best friend on a nice trip or excursion as a token of my thanks after we recover from surgery. And probably invite him over to eat almost every time I fire up the grill or boiling pot on the weekends.
This post was edited on 3/24/17 at 5:02 pm
Posted by Chiefagain
Member since Nov 2016
1808 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 5:09 pm to
i dont do sloppy seconds



Posted by TheFonz
Somewhere in Louisiana
Member since Jul 2016
20332 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 5:18 pm to
Having a transplant and having the donor hang it over you is a risk you take.

A friend not seen in 40 pops up and is willing to donate? Sounds like one of those fate stories to me.
Posted by St Augustine
The Pauper of the Surf
Member since Mar 2006
64017 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 5:20 pm to
I mean they're both in their 60s and went to school together. Donating a kidney is a hell of a way to get someone in your debt.
Posted by Mingo Was His NameO
Brooklyn
Member since Mar 2016
25455 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 5:26 pm to
Dude, are you insane? You really think a grown man (and a borderline elderly one at that) is willing to remove an organ from his body to try to add it to the favor bank? That is quite possibly one of the most assinine things I've ever heard. The guy is a pharmacist so his career is to help people one could argue. Or maybe he just hates seeing people suffer and doesn't want any one to be on dialysis whether he knows them well, kind of, or not at all.

You sound like a really miserable and narcissistic person.
Posted by Isabelle81
NEW ORLEANS, LA
Member since Sep 2015
2718 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 5:26 pm to
If he needs a kidney bad enough he will accept. A donor match will create far less problems in the future.
Posted by GRTiger
On a roof eating alligator pie
Member since Dec 2008
62678 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 5:27 pm to
What the hell?

I'd take that kidney and do everything I could that the donor needed down the line.
Posted by Peazey
Metry
Member since Apr 2012
25418 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 5:31 pm to
I wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. This is a serious health issue we're walking about here. I'm assuming your relative needs a kidney transplant to live. What use is any of that other bull shite if he waits and dies? Would you be too proud to survive?
This post was edited on 3/24/17 at 5:32 pm
Posted by airfernando
Member since Oct 2015
15248 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 6:10 pm to
quote:

Donating a kidney is a hell of a way to get someone in your debt.
How's that? Only if receiver is prideful. Otherwise, he doesn't ever have to speak or acknowledge donor. Indentured servitude ended years ago.

As pointed out, you take what you can get. I wouldn't give a kidney to anyone but my kids or wife, which means I wouldn't give to my siblings. I know that's horrible but it's true. Saddest part is that they'd all give me one in a heartbeat.
This post was edited on 3/24/17 at 6:12 pm
Posted by Darth_Vader
A galaxy far, far away
Member since Dec 2011
64309 posts
Posted on 3/24/17 at 6:14 pm to
quote:

If I needed a kidney I wouldn't give a shite where it came from.


Exactly. Who in their right mind would be like "nah, I'm good. Thanks anyway. I'll just be over here picking out my casket"?!?
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