Why does Santa have such a big sack? (Christmas/holiday joke thread)

That's a good one

Rich man and poor man meet every Christmas to talk about their wives and the gifts they got them. Poor man asks, "What did you get your wife for Christmas?" Rich man responds, "I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes. So if she doesn't like the ring, she can take the Mercedes to return it. What did you get your wife for Christmas?" The poor man replies, "I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo." Rich man asks "Why?" "Cause if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go frick herself."

Q: What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad?
A: A pineapple.

Q: Why is Christmas just like your job?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Q: Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time?
A: Because they're meant for the children but the father wants to play with them.

On Christmas morning, a mounted police officer saw a kid on a bicycle. The cop said "Did Santa give you that bicycle." The kid said yes. Then the cop said "Next time tell Santa to put a taillight on it." He gave the kid a ticket for a $20 fine. Before the police left, the kid asked "Did Santa give you the horse?" The cop, joking, said yes. Then the kid said "Next time, tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, not on top."

One thing drinking has taught me is that if you go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people...and, it's best to do it in December.