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Started By
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What is the most boring wedding you've ever gone to?
Posted on 9/25/17 at 11:29 pm
Posted on 9/25/17 at 11:29 pm
I am dreading a wedding that I must go to this Saturday, and... well... misery loves company.
The bride is a coworker. She's a tremendously kind person, and I don't have the heart to skip her wedding. But damn.
1. It's taking place at a Christian missionary where her husband works - 2+ hours away.
2. It's at 2:30 in the afternoon.
3. There will be no alcohol.
4. There will be no band, DJ, or music of any kind.
5. Bride and groom are both 30+ year old virgins. Not that that necessarily matters, but it sets the scene. I will have little in common with any of these people.
If it ends up being an outside wedding, with the sun blazing down at 2:30 in the afternoon while I'm suited up, I'm showing my face and then getting the hell out of there.
The bride is a coworker. She's a tremendously kind person, and I don't have the heart to skip her wedding. But damn.
1. It's taking place at a Christian missionary where her husband works - 2+ hours away.
2. It's at 2:30 in the afternoon.
3. There will be no alcohol.
4. There will be no band, DJ, or music of any kind.
5. Bride and groom are both 30+ year old virgins. Not that that necessarily matters, but it sets the scene. I will have little in common with any of these people.
If it ends up being an outside wedding, with the sun blazing down at 2:30 in the afternoon while I'm suited up, I'm showing my face and then getting the hell out of there.
42
Posted on 9/25/17 at 11:31 pm to Blob Fish
Every single one including mine, receptions is where it's at
This post was edited on 9/26/17 at 12:04 am
Posted on 9/25/17 at 11:31 pm to Blob Fish
Every one, including mine
Posted on 9/25/17 at 11:33 pm to Blob Fish
My family is Mormon so too many to choose from. 
Posted on 9/25/17 at 11:36 pm to Blob Fish
quote:
What is the most boring wedding you've ever gone to?
All of them.
Haven't been to a wedding in 10+ years and will never attend one again.
I'm really good at making up excuses. I'll always already 'have plans' for whatever date is chosen. If it's local, I'll just skip and say I had diarrhea.
Posted on 9/25/17 at 11:39 pm to Blob Fish
I won't go to a catholic wedding. Won't happen.
Posted on 9/25/17 at 11:45 pm to AUCE05
quote:
I won't go to a catholic wedding. Won't happen
Don't those weddings last like 3 hours and don't they drink during the wedding ceremony
Posted on 9/25/17 at 11:46 pm to Kige Ramsey
quote:
Don't those weddings last like 3 hours and don't they drink during the wedding ceremony
Posted on 9/25/17 at 11:46 pm to Blob Fish
quote:
5. Bride and groom are both 30+ year old virgins. Not that that necessarily matters, but it sets the scene.
Someone, if not very possibly both, is lying here.
Posted on 9/25/17 at 11:49 pm to Blob Fish
Just don't go baw. It ain't hard
Posted on 9/25/17 at 11:57 pm to Kige Ramsey
quote:
Don't those weddings last like 3 hours and don't they drink during the wedding ceremony
They're long as hell, but nobody drinks during the church ceremony. But a lot do before it. So bladders get very full, and it's awkward to get up during the service.
Posted on 9/25/17 at 11:59 pm to Blob Fish
quote:
1. It's taking place at a Christian missionary where her husband works - 2+ hours away.
2. It's at 2:30 in the afternoon.
3. There will be no alcohol.
4. There will be no band, DJ, or music of any kind.
5. Bride and groom are both 30+ year old virgins. Not that that necessarily matters, but it sets the scene. I will have little in common with any of these people
frick. That.
Send some flowers or a gift or some other shite
Posted on 9/26/17 at 12:00 am to Blob Fish
Worst was my cousins wedding. They're Evangelical Christians. Which means they only drink in private. So it was a dry wedding, on December 30th, 8 hours away. She was also a drama major. So there were a lot of guys there who were so deep in the closet, they found old baseball cards. But that made YMCA particularly hilarious, when they busted out props.
Posted on 9/26/17 at 12:02 am to Blob Fish
quote:
Bride and groom are both 30+ year old virgins
They're going to be so disappointed with sex. When you build it up that much, and you have zero experience, it's going to be an awkward wedding night.
Posted on 9/26/17 at 12:07 am to Blob Fish
Chick thread
This post was edited on 9/26/17 at 12:08 am
Posted on 9/26/17 at 12:47 am to Blob Fish
I went to one two years ago and the brides father married the couple. Well he was a pastor and about 5 minutes in he said he felt led to preach and have an alter call. The dip shite rambled on for almost an hour.
Posted on 9/26/17 at 12:50 am to Blob Fish
Mine
Posted on 9/26/17 at 12:52 am to Kige Ramsey
quote:
Don't those weddings last like 3 hours and don't they drink during the wedding ceremony
I went to one of these in Gallup NM in an old historic church with no AC, in the middle of August.
So miserable it was fun, everyone in the back was cutting up and drinking from flasks. Dripping in sweat.
Posted on 9/26/17 at 12:55 am to Blob Fish
The phony christian ones without an open bar. Every.fricking.time they suck.
Posted on 9/26/17 at 1:45 am to Blob Fish
They are gonna frick real quick. That's why there's no time for anyone besides the bride and groom to celebrate.
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