The time someone took the browns to the super bowl that grounded a plane

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In quiet moments, it gets to me. In the middle of the night, when the light is blue and black, I'm there with my eyes bolt open, thinking about it. Thinking: What happened to you, Person Who Did a shite So Bad on a British Airways Plane That It Had to Turn Around and Come Back Again? Prithee: When did thine shits return back to normal? And then I think: if I am thinking about the Person Who Did a shite So Bad on a British Airways Plane That It Had to Turn Around and Come Back Again, what is the Person Who Did a shite So Bad On a British Airways Plane That It Had to Turn Around and Come Back Again thinking? Are they thinking about that shite? More to the point: Are there ever any moments when he's not thinking about the shite he did, the one that landed the plane? Do their cheeks still glow with the furnace of embarrassment? Or does life go on? How long until they could sit down comfortably again?

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A year ago today, the most-shared headline I've ever written goes, Someone Did a shite So Bad On a British Airways Plane That It Had to Turn Around and Come Back Again. This is a fact. This happened. The plane was going from Heathrow to Dubai, but 30 minutes in, it had to turn around and come back. This was because someone did some damage to the plane bathroom using their butt and butt hole, and it was considered a safety hazard to keep flying, because the butt crime was in danger of poisoning the air. A British Airways (BA) employee known only as "Sarah," to the BBC, at the time of the incident: "When you're up at that altitude the cabin has to be pressurized so the problem is that anything like that is actually a health and safety problem because only 50 percent of the air is being recycled and cleaned." Tory councillor Abhishek Sachdev, a passenger who was delayed 15 hours waiting for the next flight to Dubai after the incident, euphoric on re-pumped turd air: "Insane. Our BA flight to Dubai returned back to Heathrow because of a smelly poo in the toilet." This shite changed people's lives. This shite ruined vacations and launched media careers. This shite was talked about.

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