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re: Single, middle aged people with no kids or responsibility?

Posted on 7/30/16 at 8:40 pm to
Posted by xxKylexx
Louisiana
Member since Nov 2011
4039 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 8:40 pm to
quote:

Oh you mean grow up like your friends, you know, get married and have a child when you are still a child and broke and barely out of college. Is that what growing up is?


Lol, amen bro. Granted, a couple of them do have decent enough jobs but all their money goes to kids and the wife. One of them wanted a new truck, wife said no and now he's driving a Kia I believe. Again, I have no doubt that children and a wife can bring joy but the way my boy looks at his phone when she texts him now is just, I feel for him. They don't have kids and he's told her he isn't ready but she's baby crazy so now they're trying to have one.
Posted by lsuguy84
CO
Member since Feb 2009
19573 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 8:41 pm to
Yeah I don't think anyone was saying that...we know it's going to happen. But that's not a factor that's going to shy us away...that's why marriage is forever. Marry your best friend because when the kids leave the house it's just you two.
Posted by Saint5446
Member since Jan 2014
823 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 8:42 pm to
Your buddy might have unfortunately married the wrong woman. To each their own, but those are the kinds of things that need to be discussed and agreed on before committing to each other
Posted by Bestbank Tiger
Premium Member
Member since Jan 2005
70851 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 8:45 pm to
quote:

To each their own, but those are the kinds of things that need to be discussed and agreed on before committing to each other


If only there were a way to do that, guided by people who have counseled a large number of couples. We could give it a cool name like "pre-Cana classes".
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
128950 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 8:48 pm to
quote:

Not sure about Nurse's friends but my friends and I are capable of talking about many topics. We talk about where we want to travel, books we've read, movies we've seen, tv shows, baseball, upcoming football season, the Presidential election, food and drink recipes and lots of other stuff.

Tomorrow we'll be talking about their unfortunate foray into speed dating. That should be good for some laughs



Same type of stuff they discuss as well. They talk about their dating stories as well. I think it helps a lot if you don't live in a place (like the South) where you are a leper if you didn't marry and have children.


I've also got several married girlfriends that don't have children and don't plan on it. They are happily married as well. Happiness in life is different for everyone.....there is no set formula.
Posted by NoHoTiger
So many to kill, so little time
Member since Nov 2006
45721 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 8:56 pm to
I was never against marriage and kids, that's just not the way my life worked out. I can come home and cry into Ben and Jerry's every night or I can choose to be constructive and creative. I choose constructive and creative.

Today my sister and BIL both worked so I have my 2 year old niece. We went to the library and Target and I McDonald's for dinner. That's quite the treat for a 2 year old. Then it was bath time, which is great fun since she gives me a splashy shower while I give her a bath.

I don't really think I'm missing out on anything. For those who are truly miserable, they choose to be that way. I choose not to be that way.
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
128950 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 9:02 pm to
quote:

For those who are truly miserable, they choose to be that way. I choose not to be that way.





Great outlook. Even though I want to be a mom....I'm facing the very real possibility right now that it will not happen for me. I'm trying to prepare myself for that day, when we decide not to try anymore and accept our fate. I can be one of those women that falls into a deep depression about it....or I can move on and focus on the blessings in my life that I do have and find joy in other ways in my life.
Posted by lsu xman
Member since Oct 2006
15525 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 9:04 pm to
Having kids is all fun and great until they grow up and many of them become total nightmares for the parents.
Posted by NoHoTiger
So many to kill, so little time
Member since Nov 2006
45721 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 9:11 pm to
If it's something you truly want, it's probably different. I never had the drive to be married and have kids like some of my friends. Maybe I just never met the right fella or maybe that's not what the universe had planned for me.

Like I said I was never against it, just didn't work out that way for me. I have friends who had a difficult time when they turned 30 or 40. I threw big parties and rang it in in style. Probably do the same thing when I turn 50.

I have single friends who really want to be married and have kids and are starting to realize it's probably not going to happen and they are having some difficulty with it. Quite frankly, I would much rather never be married than married to the wrong person for the wrong reasons. That has got be miserable.

Best to you Nurse.
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
259875 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 9:12 pm to
I need to be in a relationship, keeps me from self destructing and grounded.
Posted by CAD703X
Liberty Island
Member since Jul 2008
77940 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 9:14 pm to
I'm 50. Wife is 32 and smoking hot.

18yo 15yo (mine)
8yo (her ex)
18mo ours together

I wouldn't change a thing. Our house is constant chaos and I love it
Posted by LSU alum wannabe
Katy, TX
Member since Jan 2004
26963 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 9:15 pm to
quote:

need to be in a relationship, keeps me from self destructing and grounded.




I've been with my wife now for many years. Without her I'd be a Tinder trolling bar fly.
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
128950 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 9:15 pm to
Thanks Noho


quote:

than married to the wrong person for the wrong reasons. That has got be miserable.


Agreed. Even if you are with the right person....marriage is still hard as hell at times(ex: infertility can seriously place a strain on marriage). But at least if you are with the right person....the good days usually outweigh the bad. It must be a horrible existence if every day in the marriage is a bad one.
Posted by Bullfrog
Institutionalized but Unevaluated
Member since Jul 2010
56150 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 9:16 pm to
Do you just make shite up or what?
Posted by CAD703X
Liberty Island
Member since Jul 2008
77940 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 9:17 pm to
quote:

Even if you are with the right person....marriage is still hard as hell at times


I agree with nurse. Suck it up and be a man (or woman) because there is no free ride where every day you wake up and ride a magic unicorn to work.
Posted by gthog61
Irving, TX
Member since Nov 2009
71001 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 9:18 pm to
I used to ponder "not leaving behind a legacy" by not having kids.

Then I looked at my ancestors.

Go back 6 generations and each direct ancestor only contributed 1/64th of my DNA.

That works the same way going forward.

You "leave behind a legacy" only until everybody who knows you dies anyway.

Even most "historical" figures don't really leave behind much because most people are ignorant of history anyway and what is known about them is an image.
Posted by CAD703X
Liberty Island
Member since Jul 2008
77940 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 9:18 pm to
quote:

Do you just make shite up or what?
pretty sure everyone knows my story on here by now but you. What's made up?
Posted by touchdownjeebus
Member since Sep 2010
24833 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 9:18 pm to
I lived this life, then I had my daughter. There is nothing on the face of the planet that could make me go back to a time before knowing her. My daughter makes all of this foolishness make sense.
Posted by NoHoTiger
So many to kill, so little time
Member since Nov 2006
45721 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 9:19 pm to
Haha, Roger. I'm pretty boring. No drugs, rarely drink anymore. These days my biggest vice is Diet Coke and I don't drink those that much anymore.

The most exciting I've done in the past couple of weeks was stay up until 1:00 am, on a school night, to finish a book I was reading. Yesterday I drank half a beer at early happy hour for summer hours Friday. Before yesterday, my last drink was crawfish boil in May.

<--- such a rebel.
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
259875 posts
Posted on 7/30/16 at 9:21 pm to
Yeah, my life is kinda boring right now but if I were single I know damn well my love for wine, women and song would put me on the path to destruction.

I still have to remind myself once in a while that I'm married and need to keep on the straight and narrow (relatively) and not risk screwing up again.
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