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Started By
Message
Raising a child in a non religious home with a very religious extended family
Posted on 12/29/14 at 12:59 pm
Posted on 12/29/14 at 12:59 pm
*This is not a religion thread, this is a parenting thread.
Any other OT parents had to deal with this issue? What type of confusion does this create for the child? How do you handle it?
I thought I had a few years before I had to deal with this, but it has started as of this Christmas with my daughter getting a bible, bible story books, and a few other religious items for Christmas from the grandparents.
No one in either mine, or my wife's family knows our beliefs, or lack of belief concerning religion. We don't consider it anything that we need to announce or share with anyone, especially family. But now with a kid in the picture, things might get...tricky.
I understand the easy answer is "they should respect your beliefs and how you wish to raise your child", and I agree, but if I try to put myself in the mind of the other person, I can understand how a truly religious person would feel if they thought someone they loved was being condemned to an eternity in Hell by not being taught whatever religion they believed.
I just worry about how confused my daughter is going to be when Mawmaw and Pawpaw tell her all about Jesus and whatnot, but Momma and Daddy tell her that they do not believe in Jesus.
Any other OT parents had to deal with this issue? What type of confusion does this create for the child? How do you handle it?
I thought I had a few years before I had to deal with this, but it has started as of this Christmas with my daughter getting a bible, bible story books, and a few other religious items for Christmas from the grandparents.
No one in either mine, or my wife's family knows our beliefs, or lack of belief concerning religion. We don't consider it anything that we need to announce or share with anyone, especially family. But now with a kid in the picture, things might get...tricky.
I understand the easy answer is "they should respect your beliefs and how you wish to raise your child", and I agree, but if I try to put myself in the mind of the other person, I can understand how a truly religious person would feel if they thought someone they loved was being condemned to an eternity in Hell by not being taught whatever religion they believed.
I just worry about how confused my daughter is going to be when Mawmaw and Pawpaw tell her all about Jesus and whatnot, but Momma and Daddy tell her that they do not believe in Jesus.
45
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:01 pm to Salmon
I'd ask Jesus for advice
God bless
God bless
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:01 pm to Salmon
Let your daughter make the decision.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:01 pm to Salmon
Its your kid, if they dont approve of how youre raising it tell them to frick off.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:01 pm to Broski
quote:
Let your daughter make the decision.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:02 pm to Salmon
quote:
No one in either mine, or my wife's family knows our beliefs, or lack of belief concerning religion. We don't consider it anything that we need to announce or share with anyone, especially family.
This is weird. Tell them where you stand. If you tell them, maybe the religious gifts will stop. My sister is atheist and me and my parents are Catholic and it's not a big deal. Just be honest. You are basically teaching your kid that what you believe (or don't believe) is wrong.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:02 pm to Salmon
is it your intention to keep her ignorant of Jesus and the bible?
how old is she? let her read the books she got and ask her own questions.
you should not force your non-belief on your children, the same way parents should not force religion on children. let her make up her own mind.
how old is she? let her read the books she got and ask her own questions.
you should not force your non-belief on your children, the same way parents should not force religion on children. let her make up her own mind.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:02 pm to Salmon
You really struggle with life it appears.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:02 pm to Salmon
You explain to your kids that everyone is different and that when they they get old enough they can make their own decisions on faith, but to always respect the faith of others.
Let them know the bible is important to grandma and so she should appreciate the gift. When she learns to read let her read it if she wants.
Let them know the bible is important to grandma and so she should appreciate the gift. When she learns to read let her read it if she wants.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:02 pm to Salmon
Jesus was a real person whether you believe in him as being the Son of God or not.
What if your child wants to believe, will you stop her?
What if your child wants to believe, will you stop her?
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:02 pm to Salmon
Let her gather up all the information and come to her own conclusions
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:02 pm to Salmon
quote:
No one in either mine, or my wife's family knows our beliefs, or lack of belief concerning religion.
I wouldn't get offended then when your kid got some religious books.
If people don't know, how do you expect them to respect your wishes?
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:03 pm to Salmon
Well, you may as well address it directly with her.
I mean, she's going to be exposed to religious people her whole life, anyway.
At some point, she will make her own decision on what is right and what is wrong.
I mean, she's going to be exposed to religious people her whole life, anyway.
At some point, she will make her own decision on what is right and what is wrong.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:03 pm to Broski
quote:
Let your daughter make the decision.
yeah...I get that
but more of how to handle it when she is like 6 or 7?
do I tell her "what do you believe?" and if she says she wants to believe in Jesus, then go with it. Which I guess I wouldn't care. But what happens when she asks me about me going to Hell? How do I answer to that?
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:03 pm to Salmon
quote:
I just worry about how confused my daughter is going to be when Mawmaw and Pawpaw tell her all about Jesus and whatnot, but Momma and Daddy tell her that they do not believe in Jesus.
Let her choose for herself. Let her read the Bible on her own and she'll either pick it up or throw it down.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:04 pm to Salmon
Your child is going to be much more influenced by you directly than they occasional influence of extended family.
For me, I want my kids to test the world on their own. That means I want them to honestly study and question their beliefs. Whatever conclusions they reach will be cemented by their own research and conclusions.
For me, I want my kids to test the world on their own. That means I want them to honestly study and question their beliefs. Whatever conclusions they reach will be cemented by their own research and conclusions.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:04 pm to MapGuy
quote:
What if your child wants to believe, will you stop her?
Of course he will.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:04 pm to Sir Drinksalot
quote:
You explain to your kids that everyone is different and that when they they get old enough they can make their own decisions on faith, but to always respect the faith of others.
Let them know the bible is important to grandma and so she should appreciate the gift. When she learns to read let her read it if she wants.
This seems like the best/wisest course of action.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:04 pm to Meauxjeaux
quote:
I wouldn't get offended then when your kid got some religious books.
If people don't know, how do you expect them to respect your wishes?
oh and this
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:05 pm to Salmon
You need to understand the Christian faith before you start answering questions on it.
What if she asks what happens when you die if there is no god?
Both are disappointing :-)
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