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Raising a child in a non religious home with a very religious extended family

Posted on 12/29/14 at 12:59 pm
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83520 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 12:59 pm
*This is not a religion thread, this is a parenting thread.

Any other OT parents had to deal with this issue? What type of confusion does this create for the child? How do you handle it?

I thought I had a few years before I had to deal with this, but it has started as of this Christmas with my daughter getting a bible, bible story books, and a few other religious items for Christmas from the grandparents.

No one in either mine, or my wife's family knows our beliefs, or lack of belief concerning religion. We don't consider it anything that we need to announce or share with anyone, especially family. But now with a kid in the picture, things might get...tricky.

I understand the easy answer is "they should respect your beliefs and how you wish to raise your child", and I agree, but if I try to put myself in the mind of the other person, I can understand how a truly religious person would feel if they thought someone they loved was being condemned to an eternity in Hell by not being taught whatever religion they believed.

I just worry about how confused my daughter is going to be when Mawmaw and Pawpaw tell her all about Jesus and whatnot, but Momma and Daddy tell her that they do not believe in Jesus.

Posted by jimbeam
University of LSU
Member since Oct 2011
75703 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:01 pm to
I'd ask Jesus for advice

God bless
Posted by Broski
Member since Jun 2011
70761 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:01 pm to
Let your daughter make the decision.
Posted by harry coleman beast
Left Field
Member since Aug 2008
52210 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:01 pm to
Its your kid, if they dont approve of how youre raising it tell them to frick off.
Posted by GrammarKnotsi
Member since Feb 2013
9320 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:01 pm to
quote:

Let your daughter make the decision.

Posted by lsuwontonwrap
Member since Aug 2012
34147 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:02 pm to
quote:

No one in either mine, or my wife's family knows our beliefs, or lack of belief concerning religion. We don't consider it anything that we need to announce or share with anyone, especially family.


This is weird. Tell them where you stand. If you tell them, maybe the religious gifts will stop. My sister is atheist and me and my parents are Catholic and it's not a big deal. Just be honest. You are basically teaching your kid that what you believe (or don't believe) is wrong.
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
32701 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:02 pm to
is it your intention to keep her ignorant of Jesus and the bible?

how old is she? let her read the books she got and ask her own questions.

you should not force your non-belief on your children, the same way parents should not force religion on children. let her make up her own mind.
Posted by TIGRLEE
Northeast Louisiana
Member since Nov 2009
31493 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:02 pm to
You really struggle with life it appears.
Posted by Sir Drinksalot
Member since Aug 2005
16740 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:02 pm to
You explain to your kids that everyone is different and that when they they get old enough they can make their own decisions on faith, but to always respect the faith of others.

Let them know the bible is important to grandma and so she should appreciate the gift. When she learns to read let her read it if she wants.
Posted by MapGuy
I was born,I grew older,I'm here
Member since May 2010
37438 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:02 pm to
Jesus was a real person whether you believe in him as being the Son of God or not.

What if your child wants to believe, will you stop her?
Posted by hendersonshands
Univ. of Louisiana Ragin Cajuns
Member since Oct 2007
160104 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:02 pm to
Let her gather up all the information and come to her own conclusions
Posted by Meauxjeaux
98836 posts including my alters
Member since Jun 2005
39851 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:02 pm to
quote:

No one in either mine, or my wife's family knows our beliefs, or lack of belief concerning religion.


I wouldn't get offended then when your kid got some religious books.

If people don't know, how do you expect them to respect your wishes?
Posted by VetteGuy
Member since Feb 2008
28075 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:03 pm to
Well, you may as well address it directly with her.

I mean, she's going to be exposed to religious people her whole life, anyway.

At some point, she will make her own decision on what is right and what is wrong.
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83520 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:03 pm to
quote:

Let your daughter make the decision.


yeah...I get that

but more of how to handle it when she is like 6 or 7?

do I tell her "what do you believe?" and if she says she wants to believe in Jesus, then go with it. Which I guess I wouldn't care. But what happens when she asks me about me going to Hell? How do I answer to that?
Posted by Road Tiger
SW Landmass
Member since Oct 2014
834 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:03 pm to
quote:

I just worry about how confused my daughter is going to be when Mawmaw and Pawpaw tell her all about Jesus and whatnot, but Momma and Daddy tell her that they do not believe in Jesus.


Let her choose for herself. Let her read the Bible on her own and she'll either pick it up or throw it down.
Posted by TJRibMe
Houston, Mexas
Member since Sep 2004
5214 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:04 pm to
Your child is going to be much more influenced by you directly than they occasional influence of extended family.

For me, I want my kids to test the world on their own. That means I want them to honestly study and question their beliefs. Whatever conclusions they reach will be cemented by their own research and conclusions.
Posted by lsuwontonwrap
Member since Aug 2012
34147 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:04 pm to
quote:

What if your child wants to believe, will you stop her?



Of course he will.
Posted by Walking the Earth
Member since Feb 2013
17260 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:04 pm to
quote:

You explain to your kids that everyone is different and that when they they get old enough they can make their own decisions on faith, but to always respect the faith of others.

Let them know the bible is important to grandma and so she should appreciate the gift. When she learns to read let her read it if she wants.


This seems like the best/wisest course of action.

Posted by lsuwontonwrap
Member since Aug 2012
34147 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:04 pm to
quote:

I wouldn't get offended then when your kid got some religious books.

If people don't know, how do you expect them to respect your wishes?


oh and this
Posted by Sir Drinksalot
Member since Aug 2005
16740 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:05 pm to


You need to understand the Christian faith before you start answering questions on it.

What if she asks what happens when you die if there is no god?

Both are disappointing :-)
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