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re: Question about teen daughter keeping computer in her room at night
Posted on 7/30/15 at 6:47 pm to Anonymous95
Posted on 7/30/15 at 6:47 pm to Anonymous95
0
Posted on 7/30/15 at 6:48 pm to ell_13
I also have a 14-year-old daughter who's going to be a freshman. She has her Macbook and phone in her room. Why? Because I trust her. She makes good decisions in academic and social situations and has never given us reason to deny her those privileges.
I'm a teacher, and I am not naive about what many kids her age are doing. She and I have a very open line of communication, and she has told me about things most kids would never tell their parents about (friends trying drugs, becoming sexually active, etc). Heck, she asked my advice on how to handle ending a friendship with someone whose values had drastically changed for the worse. In short, we communicate, and I trust her.
The kids on her class who have very strict parents are some of the sneakiest, most deviant kids in school. Why? Because they are rebelling against so much control.
Will my daughter make poor choices at some point? I am sure she will. Almost all kids do. However, I know she won't be afraid to come to me when she does.
I'm a teacher, and I am not naive about what many kids her age are doing. She and I have a very open line of communication, and she has told me about things most kids would never tell their parents about (friends trying drugs, becoming sexually active, etc). Heck, she asked my advice on how to handle ending a friendship with someone whose values had drastically changed for the worse. In short, we communicate, and I trust her.
The kids on her class who have very strict parents are some of the sneakiest, most deviant kids in school. Why? Because they are rebelling against so much control.
Will my daughter make poor choices at some point? I am sure she will. Almost all kids do. However, I know she won't be afraid to come to me when she does.
Posted on 7/30/15 at 6:48 pm to SG_Geaux
quote:
Has she given you a reason not to trust her?
Yes, she has--why would she even need a laptop in her room after-hours if she is not planning to use it after-hours? For decoration? Duh.
Heck, even if her parents cut the wi-fi signal each night, she could still steal neighbors' signals.
Posted on 7/30/15 at 6:50 pm to financetiger
Your daughter is going to hate you and turn into a regular dick gobbler.
Posted on 7/30/15 at 6:51 pm to financetiger
Dude..its the 90's!! My 14 year old has a laptop, a school laptop, iPhone6, iPad3, AppleTV, 2 Xboxes, NetFlix, Amazon Prime Video & Apple Music accounts. You are better off embracing technology and trust your kids by leading them by example. In this day and age you need tech to survive.
I monitor all of this via Apple Family Sharing and being involved in her life.
I monitor all of this via Apple Family Sharing and being involved in her life.
This post was edited on 7/30/15 at 6:53 pm
Posted on 7/30/15 at 6:54 pm to financetiger
For what it's worth, we have a daughter. When she had school work to do using the laptop, she used the computer at the kitchen table. We had oversight. There is no reason that we could think of to allow our young daughter, & Sons, to have access to the Internet without parental discretion at such a young and impressionable age. 
Posted on 7/30/15 at 6:55 pm to financetiger
I had a computer with internet in my room starting at 13 or so. 
Of course, mine was dial up and the porn-scape wasn't what it is these days...
Of course, mine was dial up and the porn-scape wasn't what it is these days... Posted on 7/30/15 at 6:57 pm to financetiger
She's gonna get piped no matter what you do. Just hope those young bucks don't bust up in them guts or that laptop is gonna be the least of your worries.
Posted on 7/30/15 at 6:58 pm to BestBanker
Thanks for all the replies. We're still deciding on what to do....
Posted on 7/30/15 at 6:58 pm to financetiger
Wimp
Posted on 7/30/15 at 6:58 pm to financetiger
Honestly, you're smart.
1) she needs to sleep and electronics get you stimulated and mess up your sleep cycle
2) maybe she is just doing innocent stuff, but more often than not young people on electronics late at night all alone are up to no good. I'm 10 years older than your daughter and I was only up to no good on the computer at night at her age, and in 2005 I didn't have a webcam or a smart phone with easy access to dangerous apps that are havens for predators and bullies like Whisper and Kik.
Read this article, show it to your daughter. It's about a girl her age here in Alabama that committed suicide a couple months ago after being bullied over apps and her computer she was using in her room by herself late at night. Innocent girl, nobody had any idea.
LINK
She might freak out on you and say that's not her, but at least it'll show her the dangers and why you're concerned.
1) she needs to sleep and electronics get you stimulated and mess up your sleep cycle
2) maybe she is just doing innocent stuff, but more often than not young people on electronics late at night all alone are up to no good. I'm 10 years older than your daughter and I was only up to no good on the computer at night at her age, and in 2005 I didn't have a webcam or a smart phone with easy access to dangerous apps that are havens for predators and bullies like Whisper and Kik.
Read this article, show it to your daughter. It's about a girl her age here in Alabama that committed suicide a couple months ago after being bullied over apps and her computer she was using in her room by herself late at night. Innocent girl, nobody had any idea.
LINK
She might freak out on you and say that's not her, but at least it'll show her the dangers and why you're concerned.
Posted on 7/30/15 at 7:02 pm to financetiger
quote:
Thanks for all the replies. The wife is deciding on what to do....
FIFY
Posted on 7/30/15 at 7:03 pm to financetiger
she's either gonna show him her tits over skype or she's gonna show them irl. your choice. both will happen inevitably.
Posted on 7/30/15 at 7:03 pm to Crow Pie
quote:
Dude..its the 90's!!
Dude..its 2015!!!
Posted on 7/30/15 at 7:03 pm to financetiger
Yea yoir doing right. Don't listen to the idiots
Posted on 7/30/15 at 7:05 pm to financetiger
You're being overprotective as frick. Let the kid breathe or she will resent you. I can understand the computer thing, but the phone? Stop being a pussy.
But seriously, she's 14, shes probably just watching Netflix. She's a few years away from nude skyping
But seriously, she's 14, shes probably just watching Netflix. She's a few years away from nude skyping
Posted on 7/30/15 at 7:06 pm to financetiger
She'll be a huge fan of my band in about 2-3 years unless you ease up.
Posted on 7/30/15 at 7:11 pm to financetiger
quote:
Thanks for all the replies. We're still deciding on what to do....
Posted on 7/30/15 at 7:17 pm to financetiger
Yikes. That seems really psycho parenty to have rules like that with a high schooler.
Posted on 7/30/15 at 7:18 pm to financetiger
Don't listen to the losers on here saying you don't trust your daughter. You do what YOU think is right. YOURE the parent, not the friend. Half of the idiots on here giving you hell either have no kids or their kids are trashy losers like their parents.
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