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Started By
Message
Parents of the OT: When is the last time this happened to you?
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:23 am
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:23 am
You're driving down the highway in a packed SUV with your wife and children, including a baby in a car seat. It's a hot July afternoon. You smell shite and you realize the baby has crapped her shorts but you can't stop the car until the next exit. You turn around and ask the baby, "Did you crap your pants, Hun?"
She's a baby and has no clue what you just said, but she smiles anyhow. You turn around a couple more times to check on her and that same smile is on her face - a mysterious and somewhat strange perma-smile.
You arrive to the next exit and pull into a gas station for a quick diaper change. You unbuckle her car seat safety harness. When you lift her out of the car seat, liquid shite cascades down both legs.
Dammit, the baby had a blowout!
The baby is playfully slapping your face, running her slimy fingers thru your beard, and holding onto your shirt. All of the sudden, you you realize shite is on the baby's hands. She's been rubbing her hands in crap for several miles and now her shite is on you. You unexpectedly gag a couple of times. You notice shite soaked into her car seat padding and you realize what that implies for the rest of the 3 hour road trip.
Everything is descending into chaos and there's very little you can do about it.
She's a baby and has no clue what you just said, but she smiles anyhow. You turn around a couple more times to check on her and that same smile is on her face - a mysterious and somewhat strange perma-smile.
You arrive to the next exit and pull into a gas station for a quick diaper change. You unbuckle her car seat safety harness. When you lift her out of the car seat, liquid shite cascades down both legs.
Dammit, the baby had a blowout!
The baby is playfully slapping your face, running her slimy fingers thru your beard, and holding onto your shirt. All of the sudden, you you realize shite is on the baby's hands. She's been rubbing her hands in crap for several miles and now her shite is on you. You unexpectedly gag a couple of times. You notice shite soaked into her car seat padding and you realize what that implies for the rest of the 3 hour road trip.
Everything is descending into chaos and there's very little you can do about it.
This post was edited on 7/17/14 at 9:45 am
38
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:24 am to mizzoukills
Only because well, basically, pretty much been there.
This post was edited on 7/17/14 at 9:25 am
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:24 am to mizzoukills
Thanks for the wrap it up reminder 
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:24 am to mizzoukills
this has not happened...yet
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:25 am to mizzoukills
Never, but prayers sent.
Kids are the best, they'll change your life, etc... no one tells you about this shite though.
Kids are the best, they'll change your life, etc... no one tells you about this shite though.
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:25 am to mizzoukills
i've had this happen before plenty of times, but luckily not in the car. I would be fricking furious though (not at the kid but at the whole fricked up timing and situation)
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:26 am to mizzoukills
The best is when they do that during naptime. You hear them giggling so you go in all smiley to get a warm, just up from the nap snuggle and you realize that the whole crib is covered in shite and they have shite-graffitied the walls.
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:26 am to mizzoukills
I feel bad for your kids if you really have them
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:26 am to mizzoukills
My son had an uncanny ability to shite up his back, like to the neckline under his onesie.
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:27 am to mizzoukills
I was bringing my son to a dr's appointment and he blew it out in his car seat. The shite was literally in his hair, it came all the way up his back somehow. I had him laying on a blanket in the middle of a parking lot trying to clean him. I used every wipe/towel/clothing I had in the car. Brought him into the dr with no clothes or shoes, just a diaper. I left the destroyed garments AND the fricking car seat itself right there in the parking garage.
PS - my daughter shite all over my lap at the Chik Fil A bowl. Half my section cleared out and I had to walk up the aisle holding her out with my arms extended and I looked like I shite myself too. Half my section was laughing, the other half cringing.
PS - my daughter shite all over my lap at the Chik Fil A bowl. Half my section cleared out and I had to walk up the aisle holding her out with my arms extended and I looked like I shite myself too. Half my section was laughing, the other half cringing.
This post was edited on 7/17/14 at 9:30 am
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:27 am to mizzoukills
No, my kids aren't trashy. They wouldn't shite on themselves
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:27 am to mizzoukills
That's my wife's department
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:28 am to MasCervezas
Or the one where you are pulling out of hotel in Baton Rouge on the way back to S'port when the one year old gets flu like symptoms. Throws up that great spoiled milk mixure all over back seat, herself and car seat. Makes for a fantastic 4 hour ride home during the summer.
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:28 am to The Mick
quote:
I left the destroyed garments AND the fricking car seat itself right there in the parking garage.
...where did you put your son when you left?
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:29 am to mizzoukills
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:30 am to mizzoukills
Well a few months ago my 2 y/o had a blow out on couch and then my 4/o saw it and vomited on top of all the poop. Then my wife starts screaming and yelling, that's when I had a relapse from quitting smoking. Also, the first time I witnessed my 4y/o laugh when he was a baby I was changing diaper and he peed in my face.
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:31 am to Salmon
quote:back seat with a regular seat belt on him. Not the best idea but we made it through.
...where did you put your son when you left?
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:32 am to mizzoukills
THis thread has reminded me to make my appointment to get snipped.
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:32 am to mizzoukills
Never
Posted on 7/17/14 at 9:34 am to mizzoukills
It happens to the best of em.
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