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OTs response would be...

Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:34 am
Posted by CAT
Central Arkansas
Member since Aug 2006
7072 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:34 am
I posted a week or so ago about hospice workers, reason being my dad was very sick. He passed 3 days ago and now just finished setting up arrangements etc for funeral Saturday.
Today I get a text from his wife (not my mother)asking if the kids (myself and her two boys) can split the cost of the funeral so she can finish the house (they bought a house to remodel and yes this would classify as a white trash situation) with the insurance money.

I'll do whatever but am I wrong in thinking this is not right? My dad would flip out if he knew she was asking. They got the small policy to take care of things if/when he passed. I want to not rock the boat in this tough time for her but I know damn well its not what my dad would do or want done.

Posted by LucasP
Member since Apr 2012
21618 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:36 am to
No advice, just wanted to say sorry about your dad.
Posted by upgrayedd
Lifting at Tobin's house
Member since Mar 2013
134843 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:37 am to
Sorry for your loss.

Is this a house they're looking to flip or is it for her to live in?
Posted by Old Sarge
Dean of Admissions, LSU
Member since Jan 2012
55219 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:37 am to
How long had they been married?
Posted by Choctaw
Pumpin' Sunshine
Member since Jul 2007
77774 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:38 am to
just politely ask "Ummm....i thought the insurance was for funeral costs? That doesn't seem right that you're using it for the house.".
Posted by ctiger69
Member since May 2005
30589 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:38 am to
I would say "No" to that selfish request. This is based on limited knowledge on the situation though.
Posted by VermilionTiger
Member since Dec 2012
37570 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:39 am to
No

Tell her you and your family have more important things to do than pay for something so she can have a side project
Posted by whoisnickdoobs
Lafayette
Member since Apr 2012
9352 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:39 am to
Sorry for you loss. How long have they been married? Are her kids your dads kids too?
Posted by LSUBFA83
Member since May 2012
3320 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:39 am to
Sorry you have to go through this at an already difficult time.

1. How close are you to your stepmother?
2. Will the other sons come through?
3. Would you be okay with her using the insurance money for something else? Because there's no guarantee she'd use it on the house.
Posted by Rouge
Floston Paradise
Member since Oct 2004
136793 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:41 am to
quote:

if the kids (myself and her two boys) can split the cost of the funeral
so she is asking her kids to pay for funeral of man she married later on

nice
Posted by MSMHater
Houston
Member since Oct 2008
22774 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:41 am to
If you are sure it's what your dad would have wanted, I would gently decline her request.

I cremated my dad, vehemnetly against the wishes of his mother, because he was very clear it's what he wanted. It sucked, but I still feel it was the right thing to do. Honor his wishes.
This post was edited on 12/9/15 at 11:42 am
Posted by Chad504boy
4 posts
Member since Feb 2005
166135 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:41 am to
quote:

)asking if the kids (myself and her two boys) can split the cost of the funeral


the least she can ask is part take in a 4 way split
Posted by 13SaintTiger
Isle of Capri
Member since Sep 2011
18315 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:41 am to
It depends on how long they were married and what their relationship was like. Also, how old are her boys?
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
123922 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:43 am to
Tell that money grubber to suck your Dick
Posted by MSMHater
Houston
Member since Oct 2008
22774 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:46 am to
quote:

Today I get a text


On second reading, the request via text is pretty...well, you know.
Posted by mkibod1
South of the Donna Dixon Line
Member since Jan 2011
4744 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:46 am to
quote:

I'll do whatever but am I wrong in thinking this is not right?



Not wrong for thinking like that at all. I kinda gaffed at it when I first read it. Might get tricky though, because it would not shock me if she has an emotional attachment to the house and remodel, as something she thinks she has to complete to honor your dad. Im in a similar situation with my MIL that is not a fun time at all. Sorry for your loss though. Prayers for you and the family.
Posted by Pettifogger
Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone
Member since Feb 2012
79115 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:46 am to
Are you close to her?

From afar, it seems like she's lumping you in with her kids in a way that doesn't make practical sense. Telling the 2 boys that she needs help with funeral expenses so she can finish the house makes sense, as they may have a vested interest in the house.

I assume, for this purpose, you may not. If you think this may be some home that you may eventually have some role or share in, it could be different.

But as of now, it's like she's asking you to pay her money after your dad died so her and her kids can finish a home.

Hopefully I'm being a little cynical and it's not really like that.
Posted by drewnbrla
The Pool is closed.
Member since Mar 2011
7839 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:48 am to
She should use the insurance money to pay for what it was intended for. Plain and simple.
Posted by SUB
Member since Jan 2001
Member since Jan 2009
20756 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:48 am to
I would ask her how they planned on paying for the house Expenses originally. They certainly weren't planning on your dad passing and using insurance money for it? Unless you are leaving out some details, it doesn't seem right for her to ask, and she should have already had a means to pay for it. Was your dad was pulling in some extra cash through work (if he still works) to pay for it? If insurance is only going to cover the funeral, then maybe you should help her out.
Posted by Chad504boy
4 posts
Member since Feb 2005
166135 posts
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:50 am to
quote:

the request via text is pretty.


her husband just died and she's trying to get her house remodeled brah, back off.
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