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Started By
Message
OTs response would be...
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:34 am
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:34 am
I posted a week or so ago about hospice workers, reason being my dad was very sick. He passed 3 days ago and now just finished setting up arrangements etc for funeral Saturday.
Today I get a text from his wife (not my mother)asking if the kids (myself and her two boys) can split the cost of the funeral so she can finish the house (they bought a house to remodel and yes this would classify as a white trash situation) with the insurance money.
I'll do whatever but am I wrong in thinking this is not right? My dad would flip out if he knew she was asking. They got the small policy to take care of things if/when he passed. I want to not rock the boat in this tough time for her but I know damn well its not what my dad would do or want done.
Today I get a text from his wife (not my mother)asking if the kids (myself and her two boys) can split the cost of the funeral so she can finish the house (they bought a house to remodel and yes this would classify as a white trash situation) with the insurance money.
I'll do whatever but am I wrong in thinking this is not right? My dad would flip out if he knew she was asking. They got the small policy to take care of things if/when he passed. I want to not rock the boat in this tough time for her but I know damn well its not what my dad would do or want done.
33
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:36 am to CAT
No advice, just wanted to say sorry about your dad.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:37 am to CAT
Sorry for your loss.
Is this a house they're looking to flip or is it for her to live in?
Is this a house they're looking to flip or is it for her to live in?
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:37 am to CAT
How long had they been married?
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:38 am to CAT
just politely ask "Ummm....i thought the insurance was for funeral costs? That doesn't seem right that you're using it for the house.".
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:38 am to Old Sarge
I would say "No" to that selfish request. This is based on limited knowledge on the situation though.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:39 am to CAT
No
Tell her you and your family have more important things to do than pay for something so she can have a side project
Tell her you and your family have more important things to do than pay for something so she can have a side project
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:39 am to CAT
Sorry for you loss. How long have they been married? Are her kids your dads kids too?
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:39 am to CAT
Sorry you have to go through this at an already difficult time.
1. How close are you to your stepmother?
2. Will the other sons come through?
3. Would you be okay with her using the insurance money for something else? Because there's no guarantee she'd use it on the house.
1. How close are you to your stepmother?
2. Will the other sons come through?
3. Would you be okay with her using the insurance money for something else? Because there's no guarantee she'd use it on the house.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:41 am to CAT
quote:so she is asking her kids to pay for funeral of man she married later on
if the kids (myself and her two boys) can split the cost of the funeral
nice
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:41 am to CAT
If you are sure it's what your dad would have wanted, I would gently decline her request.
I cremated my dad, vehemnetly against the wishes of his mother, because he was very clear it's what he wanted. It sucked, but I still feel it was the right thing to do. Honor his wishes.
I cremated my dad, vehemnetly against the wishes of his mother, because he was very clear it's what he wanted. It sucked, but I still feel it was the right thing to do. Honor his wishes.
This post was edited on 12/9/15 at 11:42 am
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:41 am to CAT
quote:
)asking if the kids (myself and her two boys) can split the cost of the funeral
the least she can ask is part take in a 4 way split
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:41 am to CAT
It depends on how long they were married and what their relationship was like. Also, how old are her boys?
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:43 am to CAT
Tell that money grubber to suck your Dick
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:46 am to CAT
quote:
Today I get a text
On second reading, the request via text is pretty...well, you know.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:46 am to CAT
quote:
I'll do whatever but am I wrong in thinking this is not right?
Not wrong for thinking like that at all. I kinda gaffed at it when I first read it. Might get tricky though, because it would not shock me if she has an emotional attachment to the house and remodel, as something she thinks she has to complete to honor your dad. Im in a similar situation with my MIL that is not a fun time at all. Sorry for your loss though. Prayers for you and the family.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:46 am to CAT
Are you close to her?
From afar, it seems like she's lumping you in with her kids in a way that doesn't make practical sense. Telling the 2 boys that she needs help with funeral expenses so she can finish the house makes sense, as they may have a vested interest in the house.
I assume, for this purpose, you may not. If you think this may be some home that you may eventually have some role or share in, it could be different.
But as of now, it's like she's asking you to pay her money after your dad died so her and her kids can finish a home.
Hopefully I'm being a little cynical and it's not really like that.
From afar, it seems like she's lumping you in with her kids in a way that doesn't make practical sense. Telling the 2 boys that she needs help with funeral expenses so she can finish the house makes sense, as they may have a vested interest in the house.
I assume, for this purpose, you may not. If you think this may be some home that you may eventually have some role or share in, it could be different.
But as of now, it's like she's asking you to pay her money after your dad died so her and her kids can finish a home.
Hopefully I'm being a little cynical and it's not really like that.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:48 am to CAT
She should use the insurance money to pay for what it was intended for. Plain and simple.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:48 am to CAT
I would ask her how they planned on paying for the house Expenses originally. They certainly weren't planning on your dad passing and using insurance money for it? Unless you are leaving out some details, it doesn't seem right for her to ask, and she should have already had a means to pay for it. Was your dad was pulling in some extra cash through work (if he still works) to pay for it? If insurance is only going to cover the funeral, then maybe you should help her out.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:50 am to MSMHater
quote:
the request via text is pretty.
her husband just died and she's trying to get her house remodeled brah, back off.
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