My next door neighbor is a first rate count

Without going into too many details, my next door neighbor sucks donkey dick.

She is about 75 years old and doesn't get around very well. She is old and lonely and bitter. And I really have a lot of sympathy for her. I would go out of my way to be her friend. Except she has declared war on me.

She has called Animal Control on my chickens. Animal control on my dog. And Code Enforcement on my garage. Today she complained again that my dog ran through her yard and "left a big paw print" in her flower bed. (I am not kidding).

The said she was going to call Animal Control if she saw the dog again. My neighborhood is full of other dogs that go in and out of their homes at will. When I pointed this out (two dogs within sight of us while she was bitching) she said those dogs were "grandfathered in" but she wasn't cutting me any slack because I was new to the neighborhood.

I can't take her shite anymore. I am ready to push back. Nothing serious. But I am probably willing to commit a low grade misdemeanor. Something that will shock her and make her think twice about fricking with me or my kids and their pets.

What suggestions from the OT? I know, I've come to the right place....