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Message
re: My girlfriend tried to kill herself
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:20 pm to htownjeep
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:20 pm to htownjeep
Yeah, buddy of mine is going through a divorce. His wife was diagnosed as bipolar. She lost her shite around 40. I am sure there were signs, but she went off the deep end. He is now raising 4 boys, and the oldest is just like her. Pick your mate wisely, guys.
0
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:22 pm to Zlatan
quote:
I am going to. I want her to know that she has me to lean on when she gets back, and I need to be as strong as possible and prepared for it
Not to be complete OT baw but first social acceptable time to break up do it
This will ruin your life hard enough to be happy for yourself much less drag someone with you
Good luck and prayers for both of you
This post was edited on 6/20/17 at 9:28 pm
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:24 pm to Zlatan
Sounds like your typical bipolar female to me.
Don't walk, run away from the bullshite.
Don't walk, run away from the bullshite.
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:26 pm to Zlatan
I have been through this from her side, as a woman, put into a hospital as well. I too was cut off from everyone EXCEPT my parents and brother. Do you know if she had co dependent issue? Or just not happy and suicidal? Has she been hospitalized before? Luckily mine was a cry for help so as I attempted to hurt myself I unlocked my doors and called 911. For some it's too late or don't want help. But I knew I needed it. I was on too many medications for being bi polar and I had been suffering from an injury my ex caused and having flashbacks of being raped. She might have been traumatized in her past that no one knows of. If I wouldn't have been hospitalized then sent to an institution I'd either be dead or dependent on drugs. I no longer take ANYTHING and sure I have my moments but I'm able to cope now. It's been a lot of work but I hope she makes it out successfully and you just have to be there for her or let her go, if it's recommended by doctors. Something triggered her. I'm praying for y'all!!
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:26 pm to thelawnwranglers
Just a word of advice, you do not want this in your life long term as these issues never end well. Wife#1 got hooked on opiodes and paid the ultimate price despite all of our attempts to help her. Mental illness is much the same.
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:26 pm to Zlatan
She's in the best place she can be right now even if no one can see her. She's monitored and she will be safe as long as her injuries from the attempt are ok. She will likely meet people in there that are experiencing similar issues and that may help her to cope.
Whether it's a chemical imbalance or depression from past trauma, all you can do is support and love a person and also let them know how a possible suicide affects you and her family at some point after she is hopefully stabilized. Ultimately, a person has to feel peace within and this is not something you can change alone, but you can help her by speaking about the issues as calmly as humanly possible. Medication definitely helps a number of people to cope with those issues so they're not suicidal, but that can be trial and error. Others sometimes must really face what is affecting them because the fear can be worse than the reality at times.
There will be those that will tell you to move on ASAP, etc., but realistically, if you're in love, it doesn't work like that. Sometimes you pursue something even if it feels like it's killing you, but that is truly living. Giving up on things or people is easier and sometimes is not even the wrong option, but if it feels like it's worth everything to you, it's worth pursuing. If it works out, it could be everything you dreamed of and if it doesn't, you'll take a new path once the other one comes to an end. But just prepare yourself and know that she has a serious illness that you can't control so it's not as much of a shock to you if things don't work out.
Whether it's a chemical imbalance or depression from past trauma, all you can do is support and love a person and also let them know how a possible suicide affects you and her family at some point after she is hopefully stabilized. Ultimately, a person has to feel peace within and this is not something you can change alone, but you can help her by speaking about the issues as calmly as humanly possible. Medication definitely helps a number of people to cope with those issues so they're not suicidal, but that can be trial and error. Others sometimes must really face what is affecting them because the fear can be worse than the reality at times.
There will be those that will tell you to move on ASAP, etc., but realistically, if you're in love, it doesn't work like that. Sometimes you pursue something even if it feels like it's killing you, but that is truly living. Giving up on things or people is easier and sometimes is not even the wrong option, but if it feels like it's worth everything to you, it's worth pursuing. If it works out, it could be everything you dreamed of and if it doesn't, you'll take a new path once the other one comes to an end. But just prepare yourself and know that she has a serious illness that you can't control so it's not as much of a shock to you if things don't work out.
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:27 pm to t00f
my father in law successfully committed suicide five years ago this Father's Day. We saw no signs and had no warning. It's been devastating. The doubt, the self blame and the what ifs plague our family. However, we were told by the numerous counselors we've spoken to that when someone is determined to harm themselves and has the means, there is very little one can do to stop them, only delay them. I know that's probably no comfort to you but I thought I'd also add another experience that is more similar to yours.
My brother survived a suicide attempt 12 years ago. He's still in precarious shape mentally, but he, like your girlfriend, was sent to a facility for a few weeks and it helped him a lot.
The best thing you can do is be supportive and just play the waiting game. It will be a long road for her and she is going to have to do all of the heavy lifting. You can't carry her through this journey. However, clearly and emphatically let her know that you are in this with her (if you truly are) and know and accept that caring for someone in a fragile mental state means accepting that you cannot save them. You can only love them and hope for the best.
Also, you have suffered an emotional trauma. You need to possibly speak to someone who can best direct you. There are free, local support groups for those effected by suicide.
I'm sorry you and she are struggling with this.
Best of luck to you both.
My brother survived a suicide attempt 12 years ago. He's still in precarious shape mentally, but he, like your girlfriend, was sent to a facility for a few weeks and it helped him a lot.
The best thing you can do is be supportive and just play the waiting game. It will be a long road for her and she is going to have to do all of the heavy lifting. You can't carry her through this journey. However, clearly and emphatically let her know that you are in this with her (if you truly are) and know and accept that caring for someone in a fragile mental state means accepting that you cannot save them. You can only love them and hope for the best.
Also, you have suffered an emotional trauma. You need to possibly speak to someone who can best direct you. There are free, local support groups for those effected by suicide.
I'm sorry you and she are struggling with this.
Best of luck to you both.
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:27 pm to htownjeep
Blue Whale game?
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:28 pm to BowlJackson
quote:
For your own mental well being, GTFO at the next available opportunity.
It sucks, but what this guy said. It's not going to magically get better, and you'll get drug further and further down. Life will be a constant struggle and you'll be miserable and helpless. A person in this type of mental state cannot maintain a healthy relationship. DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN WITH THIS PERSON. I get that you want to be there, but look out for you bro.
tl;dr: Run. Fast. No time like the present.
This post was edited on 6/20/17 at 9:30 pm
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:30 pm to dbeck
quote:
Mental illness is something that comes from within one's own head
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:33 pm to Dalosaqy
quote:
Anatomically, he was correct.
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:36 pm to 3deadtrolls
quote:
DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN WITH THIS PERSON.
Post partum depression- have seen shows where they kill themselves and the kids
Honestly I would talk to doctor
Explore staying and getting out.
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:39 pm to cleeveclever
quote:upvote
cleeveclever
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:40 pm to Zlatan
It's not your fault, man. You've tried to stop her in the past and succeeded in it. She's made it this far because of you. Let that sink in you've saved her life before.
Now going forward, the shrink isn't just going to do it and neither will you. What she needs, is a long retreat. There are plenty of places that do these spiritual retreats for people's psyche. If she's worse than a week helping her, then get her in rehab. A suicide attempt where she loses more than 3 pints, you have to do (or encourage her parents) one of these two things. Also try to get her friends to send her cards, since I'm guessing they're going to find out anyway, and showing she has a support group will change her view of how terrible of a life she has or how terrible of a person she is.
Now onto you: do not let her blackmail you into staying in the relationship. If you are thinking about running, then start setting your priorities in order and whether she is worth it or not when this is all said and done. Don't abandon her cold turkey, but you may need to let her go lightly if you decide she is not worth all this shite. If you find out you do and she makes an improvement, then fine. But don't let her force you into a relationship. You just had the misfortune of falling in love with a woman prone to suicidal tendencies.
I'd also say find a professional therapist yourself to work through this and decide objectively what's the best option for you personally. This is a traumatic experience for you as well, and don't sell yourself short on how you've saved her in the past and what you personally deserve out of life.
Now going forward, the shrink isn't just going to do it and neither will you. What she needs, is a long retreat. There are plenty of places that do these spiritual retreats for people's psyche. If she's worse than a week helping her, then get her in rehab. A suicide attempt where she loses more than 3 pints, you have to do (or encourage her parents) one of these two things. Also try to get her friends to send her cards, since I'm guessing they're going to find out anyway, and showing she has a support group will change her view of how terrible of a life she has or how terrible of a person she is.
Now onto you: do not let her blackmail you into staying in the relationship. If you are thinking about running, then start setting your priorities in order and whether she is worth it or not when this is all said and done. Don't abandon her cold turkey, but you may need to let her go lightly if you decide she is not worth all this shite. If you find out you do and she makes an improvement, then fine. But don't let her force you into a relationship. You just had the misfortune of falling in love with a woman prone to suicidal tendencies.
I'd also say find a professional therapist yourself to work through this and decide objectively what's the best option for you personally. This is a traumatic experience for you as well, and don't sell yourself short on how you've saved her in the past and what you personally deserve out of life.
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:40 pm to Zlatan
One word..... run
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:40 pm to BowlJackson
quote:
For your own mental well being, GTFO at the next available opportunity. Should have seen the red flags coming a long time ago.
This. I've been in your situation and at one point I thought I was the crazy one. She turned me into a paranoid, crazy person. I had to get out asap. As much as you love her, for your own health you have to get out and get over her. It'll just get worse and worse if you don't. I'm sorry this is happening and I'll keep her in my prayers for you. Best of luck.
This post was edited on 6/20/17 at 9:41 pm
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:41 pm to whit
Run fast and far OP. Not worth it. Move on with your life. Save yourself from misery.
This post was edited on 6/20/17 at 9:42 pm
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:41 pm to 3deadtrolls
I will pray for you and her.
As has already been said, speak to a profwssional to get the best advice on how to best handle this situation. Also, you should really reaaly make sure that she is who you want to be with. If so, nobody will fault you but know that it won't always be easy and you may still lose her someday.
I have anxiety because my brain doesn't get enough seratonin so I did research on ways to naturally boost it. If she has in imbalance, do some research to help her out.
As has already been said, speak to a profwssional to get the best advice on how to best handle this situation. Also, you should really reaaly make sure that she is who you want to be with. If so, nobody will fault you but know that it won't always be easy and you may still lose her someday.
I have anxiety because my brain doesn't get enough seratonin so I did research on ways to naturally boost it. If she has in imbalance, do some research to help her out.
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:41 pm to Zlatan
Prayers man
Posted on 6/20/17 at 9:41 pm to Zlatan
Prayers are with you and her, my brother.
ETA: always remind her of the things that she's thankful for - even the smallest thing. A gratitude list. I list 5 things every morning when I pray. Sometimes it's the same old things, but I write them down anyway. If she (and you) can get in a daily habit of making a gratitude list, It can help her.
ETA: always remind her of the things that she's thankful for - even the smallest thing. A gratitude list. I list 5 things every morning when I pray. Sometimes it's the same old things, but I write them down anyway. If she (and you) can get in a daily habit of making a gratitude list, It can help her.
This post was edited on 6/20/17 at 9:46 pm
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