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Started By
Message
My father recently passed. I want to be there for my mother, but how?
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:49 pm
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:49 pm
My parents were married for 25 years before my father unexpectedly passed at the age of 44 from pneumonia. I am now her closest relative, geographically and physically. But thing is I'm still an hour and half away enrolled in school. My mother has never been alone and I'm so worried about her. I will come home most weekends now but I fear that's not enough. I entertained ?the thought of transferring to a closer school or even taking a break from school just to be with her. But my uncle reminded me she would absolutely never allow me to do that and the best thing I could do right now is finish my degree
Everyone is telling me I'm the man of the house Now when ?the fact is I still depend on my parents to send money when im low and in need... Are there good books written on the subject.
Everyone is telling me I'm the man of the house Now when ?the fact is I still depend on my parents to send money when im low and in need... Are there good books written on the subject.
22
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:50 pm to QJenk
really sorry man.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:52 pm to QJenk
Bright days are ahead 
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:53 pm to QJenk
Travel home... a lot
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:53 pm to QJenk
I'm sorry for your loss.
As for your mom, ask her what she needs. And tell her you will be there for her.
As for your mom, ask her what she needs. And tell her you will be there for her.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:53 pm to QJenk
I'm sorry for your loss.
I think you need to discuss this with your mom & see what her expectations of you are & go from there.
Again, I'm so very sorry.
I think you need to discuss this with your mom & see what her expectations of you are & go from there.
Again, I'm so very sorry.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:53 pm to QJenk
Sorry to hear about it man.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:54 pm to QJenk
Really sorry. Keep doing what you're doing. If you can, call more often in between weekends. Try to scavenge her friends and get them to do social activities with her. She needs people in her life.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:54 pm to QJenk
Sorry brother. Hang in there.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:54 pm to QJenk
Sorry for your loss bro.
An hour and a half away isn't that far, you could always go over there a few nights a week just to sit with her so she's not alone or maybe take her out to eat if she's up for it. You could also maybe cook or help her cook, and help her clean the house. It should also be your responsibility to handle all of the yardwork and other things like that around the house.
I wouldn't suggest dropping out but are you at least doing well in school? If you're just out there fricking around partying then you should maybe take a hard look at what you're doing. I wouldn't worry too much about the money thing, hopefully your dad had something put away and a decent life insurance policy. Mom still working?
An hour and a half away isn't that far, you could always go over there a few nights a week just to sit with her so she's not alone or maybe take her out to eat if she's up for it. You could also maybe cook or help her cook, and help her clean the house. It should also be your responsibility to handle all of the yardwork and other things like that around the house.
I wouldn't suggest dropping out but are you at least doing well in school? If you're just out there fricking around partying then you should maybe take a hard look at what you're doing. I wouldn't worry too much about the money thing, hopefully your dad had something put away and a decent life insurance policy. Mom still working?
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:55 pm to QJenk
Sorry man been there just try to listen and let her mourn and don't forget to mourn yourself.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:56 pm to QJenk
Do what you feel is right. I don't think there is a wrong answer here.
I think of I were you I'd keep doing what you're doing now. Reevaluate as time passes. If you think you need to be there then go home for a semester or two. Taking 6 months to a year off from school is no biggie in the long run.
Sorry for your loss.
I think of I were you I'd keep doing what you're doing now. Reevaluate as time passes. If you think you need to be there then go home for a semester or two. Taking 6 months to a year off from school is no biggie in the long run.
Sorry for your loss.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:57 pm to QJenk
Sorry to hear that, man. Good on you for doing what you believe is best for your mom, but remember your education is very important.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:58 pm to hg
Just visit your mom as much as possible(maybe once a week). She will appreciate it. The message she'll get is that you love her by being there when you can.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:58 pm to wartiger2004
I am sorry to hear of your plight. 25 years is a long time, but your mother is still young. This will pass. Tend to her needs. And tend to yours as well.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:58 pm to House_of Cards
Sorry for your loss and it takes a lot to post what you did to seek advice.With that courage and strength ask your close friends and family who are familiar with the situation on how you should be there for your mom. They know you, your mother, and your father better than anyone else here.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 11:00 pm to QJenk
quote:
My parents were married for 25 years before my father unexpectedly passed at the age of 44 from pneumonia.
Sorry, man. I just lost my dad in April unexpectedly. He was 53. I'm trying to navigate the same waters.
eta-I'm in WA state and she's in Bama. I've been doing a lot more flying.
This post was edited on 2/23/14 at 11:02 pm
Posted on 2/23/14 at 11:00 pm to QJenk
Dude... I hope you can get through the tough times ahead
Posted on 2/23/14 at 11:00 pm to NickyT
sorry for your loss bud. do what you think you should do but remember that taking a semester or two off is not a major deal. instead of finishing at 21 you'll finish at 22. God bless
Posted on 2/23/14 at 11:01 pm to QJenk
It's alway hard for someone to lose their mate, i'm no young person, but from what I've noticed in my own family as well as many others is that its much harder on a husband to lose his wife of many years and carry on, then it is for a wife to lose her husband. For some reason the female in the marriage always seemed to bounce back a lot quicker and move on in her life then the male. I don't know why that is, its just my observation during my lifetime. I'm betting that your mom will do fine. And I'm sorry for you and your family's loss of your dad.
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