Kermit and Miss Piggy Are splitting up

Siap

What do you think happened?

quote:

---

After careful thought, thoughtful consideration and considerable squabbling, Miss Piggy made the difficult decision to terminate our romantic relationship. We will continue to work together on television (“The Muppets”/Tuesdays 8pm this fall on ABC) and in all media now known or hereafter devised, in perpetuity, throughout the universe. However, our personal lives are now distinct and separate, and we will be seeing other people, pigs, frogs, et al. This is our only comment on this private matter. Thank you for your understanding.

---

quote:

---

Translation: Someone totally cheated. (You know, probably.) 

---

Though the Swedish Chef might not be fluent in any actual language, who hasn't been tempted by a lovingly prepared Italian meal, candlelight and red wine? 



The Great Gonzo has amply demonstrated his predilection for interspecies coupling. And he and Camilla the Chicken have been together for a long, long time. Surely he and Miss Piggy found plenty of time to commiserate about the stress of long-term relationships. 



As the guitarist for the Electric Mayhem, Janice is no doubt familiar with the wanton lifestyle of the touring musician. "Come to my dressing room," she might have said to Kermit, late one night. "Bring your banjo. We'll work on a duet." 



This one, if true, is especially galling, since Rowlf was commiserating with Kermit about the troubles of romance as early as 1979. But Kermit should've known better: That whole song (listen above) is about being an inveterate womanizer, allegedly. 



"My job is to make sure this program is morally upright and cultural and wholesome," Sam once said, which is exactly what someone would say right before they do something that is neither morally upright or wholesome. 



Everyone knows older men have a certain je ne sais quoi.