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Started By
Message
Is moving cites to help a friend grieving naïve?
Posted on 8/17/15 at 7:59 pm
Posted on 8/17/15 at 7:59 pm
I plan on moving to another city to live with a great friend that recently lost his fiance to tragic circumstances. Moving to a new city would give him better career opportunities and a social push to move on past his grief. Is it too much to drop almost everything (job, friends, etc.) on my end for someone close to me that is still hurting badly months after it happened?
14
Posted on 8/17/15 at 8:00 pm to Geaux Piggins Geaux
As long as you're being supportive and not simply caving in, no, it makes you a pretty fricking amazing friend.
Posted on 8/17/15 at 8:02 pm to Geaux Piggins Geaux
Are you male or female?
Posted on 8/17/15 at 8:03 pm to Geaux Piggins Geaux
quote:
Moving to a new city would give him better career opportunities and a social push to move on past his grief.
How would you moving into his house/apartment give him better career opportunities?
quote:
Is it too much to drop almost everything (job, friends, etc.) on my end for someone close to me that is still hurting badly months after it happened?
Be there on the phone and to chat with him. I doubt you living with him will do much to change this in the long term. Go visit him for sure from time to time and take his calls, but moving in with him simply because of it is going a bit overboard. You do sound like a great friend, but if you don't think you could be happy in his city and have no desire to move there besides being there with him, I'd advise against it. You need to live for yourself as well.
Posted on 8/17/15 at 8:03 pm to Geaux Piggins Geaux
Go to psychology today's website , search Am I too giving . If the list of characteristics sound like you then that's answered your question.
This post was edited on 8/17/15 at 8:10 pm
Posted on 8/17/15 at 8:04 pm to Geaux Piggins Geaux
If you are willing to shoulder this cost without becoming embittered towards him, then that would be an amazing gesture to help him. I am not sure that this will help him, but to be surrounded by a true friend in a time of need can never hurt. It would be a truly selfless gesture on your part that could really make the difference in his life right now.
Posted on 8/17/15 at 8:04 pm to Geaux Piggins Geaux
Why not if you don't have anything tying you down
Posted on 8/17/15 at 8:07 pm to To the Dome
quote:
Why not if you don't have anything tying you down
Well, he hasn't listed the city, and I don't know his career or his personality. If he's a country boy who doesn't have a significant amount of income, then I wouldn't advise he moves to Manhattan. On the contrary, if he gets bored very easily, then I wouldn't advise he moves to Midland.
Posted on 8/17/15 at 8:08 pm to Geaux Piggins Geaux
I lost the person closest to me once and there wasn't anything anyone could say or do to make it hurt less other than let time pass. You're trying to help and that's nice but it won't take the pain away.
Posted on 8/17/15 at 8:11 pm to Geaux Piggins Geaux
Hopefully it will provide you with new opportunies as well. Just hope you're not giving too much away.
How old are you and what city?
How old are you and what city?
Posted on 8/17/15 at 8:12 pm to OMLandshark
Thanks for the feedback. To give some clarification, it's a move from Houston to Austin and a male friend (I am male as well). I've been looking to move anyway, but I just didn't have Austin in mind (but still a kickass city). Nothing really ties me down to Houston except the rough job I have and some family.
Posted on 8/17/15 at 8:15 pm to Clark W Griswold
I know I can't fix and make the heartache go away, but for someone who did not like being alone before the tragic accident, I figure it would at least be a viable option for having someone to talk to in person.
Posted on 8/17/15 at 8:16 pm to Geaux Piggins Geaux
quote:
Thanks for the feedback. To give some clarification, it's a move from Houston to Austin and a male friend (I am male as well). I've been looking to move anyway, but I just didn't have Austin in mind (but still a kickass city). Nothing really ties me down to Houston except the rough job I have and some family.
In that case, I might consider moving to Austin, but I'd still be apprehensive if the only reason you're going is to help him. Austin and Houston are only 2 and a half hours away from one another, and you could easily leave work one afternoon, be there by 8:00 to have dinner, and then drive back the next day. If Austin will make you happy and you're wanting something new, I say go for it.
Posted on 8/17/15 at 8:18 pm to Geaux Piggins Geaux
It's nice that you are being supportive. But geographic "cures" are rarely the true cure. His grief will remain and only time will help that. Good luck.
Posted on 8/17/15 at 8:23 pm to OMLandshark
Yea OP didn't give enough facts to make an accurate decision
Posted on 8/17/15 at 8:33 pm to Geaux Piggins Geaux
quote:
it's a move from Houston to Austin
You should have probably considered this even before needing to help your friend.
Go for it
Posted on 8/17/15 at 8:41 pm to Geaux Piggins Geaux
Just as long as you are prepared for him to fall in love with the next girl he meets and y'all only hang out once a week. You can get mad at him for that.
Posted on 8/17/15 at 8:46 pm to Geaux Piggins Geaux
Don't be a crutch. He will need to deal with this alone eventually, so why delay the process?
Posted on 8/17/15 at 9:00 pm to Geaux Piggins Geaux
Austin is an awesome place to live... Especially if Yall are young, There's more to do in Austin than Houston
Posted on 8/17/15 at 9:05 pm to Geaux Piggins Geaux
If you are single, you should definitely do it. Once you have a family and kids, uprooting like this is next to impossible. Do it and don't look back!
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