I found out I have a 10 year old son - Update Page 10

Back in college, I slept with this girl a few times over a month time period. She claimed to be pregnant. We had planned on not having the child because we were both poor college kids and we felt we could not afford a child and we did not want to give it up for adoption.
I organized the appointments and had it all ready to go. Day before she is supposed to go in for her 1st appointment, she tells me her aunt is taking her to have the abortion and there is nothing else for me to do.
Several months later she is seen around town, obviously still pregnant. I ask her about it and she says, "this is a different child."
All while this is going on she is telling her mother and her family that she was gang raped and does not know who the father is. Her mother wants to pursue the rape allegations and my name comes up. There are witnesses that tell her mother that this girl was NOT raped and she was just covering her sexual escapades. Mom is still on my arse like a coon dog.
I am promised by the girl that this is NOT my child and now she has convinced me that this child is a product of a rape.
I am advised by an attorney as well as family to get the hell away from this girl and do not contact her because my contact will make myself appear more guilty. I listen and separate myself from the situation.
4 or 5 years down the road I see a picture of this child. There is no doubt he is my seed. Same everything, you could put my childhood pictures in with his and it would be difficult to tell who was who to a stranger. So I contact the girl via facebook. I ask if the child is mine because he looks just like me. She assures me that this child is not my child and she tells me to leave her alone because she is married and if I continue to contact her she will file harrassment charges against me. So once again from my attorney and family I am told to remove myself from the situation.
Fast forward to this week. (about another 5 years) I find a message in my facebook "other" folder. It is from the child's stepdad. He wants to know if I know the girl because the child has figured out that this man is not his biological father. The message is from last october so my heart stops because I am worried this person feels I have ignored his message.
I get his phone number and we talk. The girl continued to lie to this man, saying she was raped and did not know who the father was during their entire marriage of almost 8 years.
Apparently during the divorce, she finally comes clean that she knows who this child belongs to.
After speaking to the step dad, it is obvious this girl has ruined this child's self esteem and he feels the only person that loves and wants him is his step dad. She told the child that his biological father hated him and wanted nothing to do with him.
The step dad is very thankful that we spoke. He and the mom have joint custody. The mother also does not want me anywhere near her child because she fears I will try to take him from her. I have no intentions of ruining this kids life. I just want to restore his self esteem and be the best man I can be for this child. The only time I will ever see him is when the step dad has him. I also do not want to steal his time because after all, that is "dad" do the boy.

I am going to meet my son for the first time during the month of May. My parents and I have set up a college fund for him so that maybe one day he can go to school. I am scared, nervous, excited and worried. I am asking for prayers and guidance by the lord.

Does anyone have any suggestions on the best way to approach the situation once I meet the boy? I have no clue what to say when he asks where have I been. I also do not want to run his mother's name through the mud because I don't need him resenting her too. I feel he will do that on his own once he realizes his mother lied and kept him from meeting this really cool family he could of had.

This is just another grenade in the dumpster fire I call life. Thank you for your time.