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How do you help an alcoholic friend
Posted on 4/26/14 at 1:25 am
Posted on 4/26/14 at 1:25 am
Just got back from a potluck get together with a few friends and on the drive back my good friend finally admitted he needs to see a therapist for his alcoholism. I'd been suspecting it for a while, but finally talked with him about it. He had about six beers before this dinner then another 8 while we were there. This is a usual occurrence, where he'll have about 15 beers or a bottle of whiskey a few times a week. He said he probably won't go to a crawfish boil on sunday because there'll be beer there.
My question to the OT: Is there anything I can do to help him through this? I've tried to limit the amount I drink around him to show it can be done. Also, I've tried to tell him to cut back slowly and see how that works, but to no avail. It's tough to see a friend go through this and I'm just trying to help him in any way possible. Any suggestions?
My question to the OT: Is there anything I can do to help him through this? I've tried to limit the amount I drink around him to show it can be done. Also, I've tried to tell him to cut back slowly and see how that works, but to no avail. It's tough to see a friend go through this and I'm just trying to help him in any way possible. Any suggestions?
32
Posted on 4/26/14 at 1:28 am to CuseTiger
He needs to want help, then he needs to get help. Whether you drink around him or not, he will still drink without help. It's his demon he needs to battle, all you can do is give moral support.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 1:33 am to CuseTiger
Beer, alcohol, drugs, and depression. Until people want to do things about this and ask for your help, it'll only frick you up.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 1:33 am to CuseTiger
It sounds like he wants help. Suggest he start by going to some AA meetings. When I decided to cut back on my drinking, a friend suggested this and it actually helped. He doesn't have to "work the program", if he isn't ready, but talking to some people who have been there would be a good start.
ETA: And to alcoholics, there is no such thing as "drinking in moderation". It's all or nothing. I can drink a few beers and be fine, but I have known people to drink until they pass out regularly. There's no "off" switch.
ETA: And to alcoholics, there is no such thing as "drinking in moderation". It's all or nothing. I can drink a few beers and be fine, but I have known people to drink until they pass out regularly. There's no "off" switch.
This post was edited on 4/26/14 at 1:35 am
Posted on 4/26/14 at 1:35 am to CuseTiger
My gfs dad went through this about 4 years ago. It took losing his job, a 3rd offense DUI (in a company truck), foreclosure on his home of 15 years, bankruptcy, and his wife filing for divorce to make him want help. But he got it and has been sober since. Years ago he quit for 10 years when my gf was a kid. So he was a relapsed alcoholic.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 1:40 am to lsuwontonwrap
quote:
It sounds like he wants help
The past few times that I've been hanging out with him, he's brought it up that he wants to stop. However, even with his wanting to stop, he's planning a vacation in June that he "knows he'll be drinking every night" so he won't stop until after. It sounds like an excuse to keep going for a few more months, but it's challenging to try and help him cut back before then. Never dealt with a friend in need like this before
Posted on 4/26/14 at 1:48 am to CuseTiger
quote:
This is a usual occurrence, where he'll have about 15 beers or a bottle of whiskey a few times a week.
Not an alcoholic IMO, unless it's affecting his job, the way he wants to live his life, or he is endangering others. Now if he wants to quit, then help him... otherwise let him do what the frick he wants.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 1:50 am to CuseTiger
Well, he's going to have to make that decision. I would mention the AA meeting to him. It's up to him whether or not he goes, but at least you mentioned it to him.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 1:52 am to CuseTiger
quote:
The past few times that I've been hanging out with him, he's brought it up that he wants to stop.
If he really wants to stop, he'll eventually seek help to stop. Everyone has a rock bottom. You can try to hang out with him as much as possible and do things that don't involve alcohol, that will help... but he still won't stop til he wants too. JMO. Telling him you think he is drinking too much will weigh on his mind though and can make him worry about it and want to stop.
This post was edited on 4/26/14 at 1:54 am
Posted on 4/26/14 at 2:01 am to CuseTiger
quote:
How do you help an alcoholic friend
It depends. What's his problem?
Posted on 4/26/14 at 2:09 am to NATidefan
quote:
endangering others
This is the main thing that worries me. He's tried to drive several times at the end of the night when leaving my place even if it's a 2 minute drive to his place. His car is currently parked outside my house because I wouldn't let him drop me off and drive back.
I'll mention the AA meetings to him and gauge his interest in that. I'm just trying to help prevent him from hitting rock bottom before he actually does.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 2:11 am to CuseTiger
quote:
How do you help an alcoholic friend
The ONLY way he he gets help is if he wants it and really means it. Changing environment help, but he will find it regardless if he wants it. It's all about risk vs reward, if he doesn't see a bigger downside to drinking vs his real life responsibility he will not stop. I am an alcoholic and have been to rehab, rock bottom for many can be so far down that he does damage to himself or other that you cannot come back from.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 2:18 am to CuseTiger
Have him switch to something he isn't addicted to, like xanax and pot, for 2-3 weeks. By then he will be over the alcohol and since he isn't addicted to those yet he can quit them easily. A lot of people in here will say its crazy but that method WORKS!
Posted on 4/26/14 at 2:22 am to lsu480
Lol, no
Posted on 4/26/14 at 2:24 am to CuseTiger
quote:
He's tried to drive several times at the end of the night when leaving my place even if it's a 2 minute drive to his place. His car is currently parked outside my house because I wouldn't let him drop me off and drive back.
But you let him drive to your place to drop you off
Posted on 4/26/14 at 2:26 am to lsu480
quote:
Posted by Message
lsu480
Posted on 4/26/14 at 2:29 am to CuseTiger
I heard that. My brother will easily put down a fifth a bourbon a day. He still holds a full time job. I wish he would quit. At the same time I can't talk.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 2:31 am to CuseTiger
premature postulation
This post was edited on 4/26/14 at 2:33 am
Posted on 4/26/14 at 2:32 am to CuseTiger
I speak from experience, I used to drink around 12-20 a night from 2008 until this past December. It was all i knew while in teh Marines. While that is no excuse it was what it was. I realized i had a problem and went to a friend and my family and they rallied behind me and now I maybe drink 3 six packs a week. While it isnt where i want to be yet it is progress. He came to you because he realized he needed help, be there for him and when you are be the "a-hole" and have him set a limit for the night once he hits it, dont under any circumstances let him go over. Try to keep him away from booze as much as possible for the first few weeks. After that he should be good, but always make sure to check in on him and try to get him to do things to occupy his time other than drink. Those are the things i did and those around me did to help me get to where i am now. I hope it works.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 2:37 am to DoUrden
I told you guys you wouldn't like it but I can tell you from personal experience it works. Its like people who stop smoking cigs by switching to e-cigs or the patch for a few weeks and then jumping off of that.
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