"The Tainted Taint"
I laid upon my bed, Bogies just hours before.
My stomach turned and twisted, jaw dropped to the floor.
A panic came upon me, as I knew my fate to be.
A courtest flush I said, not one or two but three.
The bathroom seemed so far away, an abyss visited by few.
The royal spot of John, was where I would store my poo.
Retreat was not an option, the battle already raging.
While my taint had no clue of what to come, my stomache's plan was staging.
My journey begun with the throne in sight, the calm before the storm.
Before my arse had a clue, the battle began to form.
It rained down from heaven like an exodus plague, not suitable for any eyes.
It splashed and it sputtered, a noise it did mutter, as it hit against my thighs.
No courtesy flush could fix this problem, Only time like at Chernobyl.
As the smell of gas filled the room, even death seemed so noble.
The splatter had made the taint so tainted, the battle had been lost.
The worst part about this event, is now my salad can't be tossed.
This post was edited on 6/20 at 2:13 pm